Love is, for most people, something wonderful that they hope to find and live. But it is also a complex phenomenon that can cause a great deal of doubt, fear and insecurity both when you are in a relationship and when you are not.

In this article we will see different questions about love that have often been asked by a lot of people.

Questions about love

Here are some questions that many people have asked about love.

1. What is love?

While most people want to find and experience love, this concept is actually very complex and difficult to define. Love is considered to be the bond or feeling of affection produced between two or more people (although it can also be towards oneself) and in which passion, intimacy and commitment appear in different proportions (a balance being what authors like Sternberg consider consummate or true love).

2. Is it stable or does it hold up over time?

Some people believe that true love remains unaltered and eternal, unchanged throughout the relationship. However, when a relationship is maintained over time most people see how, even though the romantic bond is maintained, the characteristics of the relationship change (passion is reduced, trust and commitment increase, etc.).

3. Is there such a thing as love at first sight or is love built up over time?

There is a wide range of opinions on this. It is true that some people have more facility to fall in love than others, and in some cases the characteristics of a particular person can generate in an individual a feeling of falling in love. However, love should not be confused with physical attraction and/or passion.

4. What do we love?

We often wonder what makes us fall in love with someone. This question is very complicated to answer, since it depends largely on the characteristics, beliefs, expectations and needs of the person who falls in love and how the other subject relates to them. Usually the physical aspect is linked to the physical attraction, but in general it is considered that it is the personality and the way of acting that induces us to fall in love. There are many theories about this, such as the one that links it to the pheromones that a person gives off or to the mystery that he or she awakens.

5. Is there only one way to love?

Sometimes we find that different people describe their love in a way that may seem strange to us and that does not correspond to what we would do. We have to keep in mind that everyone has a concept of love, emotional needs and a characteristic personality that can generate different perspectives on what love entails.

There is no one right way to love but all are valid, as long as the rights and freedoms of the people involved are respected and no abuse or dependency occurs.

6. Is love just romantic love?

When we talk about love, we usually think of romantic and couple love, but the truth is that the capacity to love is not limited to this area. Family, friends, humanity, the world or life, one’s dreams, vocation, the results of one’s efforts, ideas or concepts or oneself as a person can and should be the object of love.

7. Is there a relationship between romantic love and sex or are they completely separate aspects?

The link between romantic love and sex is a topic that has been discussed since antiquity and has created numerous conflicts and debate. The truth is that both aspects can be associated or dissociated according to the beliefs and values of each person, and this association can change over time or depending on the type of sensations that the subject in question awakens.

8. Is love addictive?

Love has the potential to be addictive, as falling in love causes the release of dopamine and other substances that generate feelings of reward and pleasure.

9. Is falling in love to see the other person as perfect?

Although there is a tendency to idolize to a greater or lesser extent the person loved , love does not imply being blind to the defects and problems of the person in question or his or her relationship with us. Idealizing that person will only cause expectations to be maintained that may not be met and lead to undeserved arguments and disappointments.

10. Why do we sometimes fall in love with someone we can’t have?

Some people fall in love with someone with whom they can’t have anything in principle (for example, because they are of a different sexual orientation or because they simply don’t belong). Why?

The answer to that question is complex. First of all, we have to take into account that falling in love is not something voluntary: we do not choose how, when or with whom we do it. In this way, some people may have characteristics that awaken certain feelings in us but, at the same time, these people are not attracted to ours. The impairment in turn can be seen as a stimulant and generate that we secrete hormones that activate us and produce a certain level of reward.

Also, in some cases you may find that always falling in love with people who are not accessible can be a way to avoid intimacy.

11. How do we know if someone is in love with us?

There are a lot of signs and indicators that can serve as an indicator that someone is attracted to us or has a romantic attachment to us. Examples of this are pupil dilation and eye contact, body position and orientation towards us, logorrhea or on the contrary almost mutism in our presence, physical contact, focusing of attention on the person or deliberate attempt to ignore him/her or changes in voice modulation or behaviour in our presence or when addressing us. However, these are possible indicators, not unequivocal signs.

12. Being happy and eating partridges? Is love easy?

Some people have a somewhat idealized view of love, considering that it makes when we are in love and this is reciprocated everything will always go well easily. And this is not so: love has its honeys, but it also involves responsibilities, the need for negotiation and conflict management, evaluation of the needs of both oneself and one’s partner, and commitment.

13. Is love suffering?

Unlike the previous case, other people consider that although loving is wonderful, in practice it generates a lot of suffering. Although loving also implies things and responsibilities, in reality the reasons for which one usually suffers are not due to the love itself: one suffers because of insecurity in the face of what the other will think or do, possible problems or conflicts in the relationship or the influence of external elements on it, or even the possibility of not really loving or losing the loved one.

Love Questions

Below we present a series of love questions that the components of a couple can ask each other or that the same person can ask himself regarding the relationship.

13. What attracted/attracted you to me?

This question can help the person asking it to understand what aspects the other person values about him/her , as well as make the person asked think about what he/she values about his/her partner.

14. What is we?

This question, although it seems badly formulated, is alluding to the meaning given to the fact of being together.

15. What is love for you? What value do you place on it in your life?

This question allows us to know what love means to the person we are asking, and to see what expectations and beliefs are held about it and the value and priority given to it.

16. Is there anything you’d like to live with me?

This question may help you find out if the other person has any wishes you would like to fulfil . Asking yourself about your partner can also help you consider what you would like to live with.

17. If I were to die tomorrow, what would be the last thing you’d say to me?

In this case it is intended that you observe what the other person considers you would do in an extreme situation.

18. What do you like least about me? / What do I like least about you?

While this question may be uncomfortable, it can help us understand what aspects of ourselves or others are not so well evaluated and why. It can also explain some small conflicts or elements that could cause them between the members of the couple.

19. How do you feel when we are together?

It is not very common to talk about how we feel when we are next to the person we love. Knowing what sensations we wake up allows us to know what sensations are awakened at the same time that it increases our self-esteem and motivation.

20. Where would you like to be with me?

Imagining ourselves in an idyllic location or living certain things can generate different sensations and make us see both the personality of the other and what he would expect to live with us. Moreover, it can be used to see dreams or even to design plans.

21. What do you think you could do to make me angry? And to make me happy?

This question can be used to see how well we know each other . Depending on the context, it can make for a curious and quite entertaining conversation.

22. How do you see us in five years?

Knowing future plans and expectations regarding the relationship and what is expected of it can be very useful.

23. Do you know how important you are to me?

Although it is more of a statement than a question, it can serve to make the other person see how important and valuable they are to you.