Curiously enough, in 1993, Arthur Aron, a psychologist from the University of New York, developed a 36-question questionnaire with which he said that it was possible to create such intimacy between two individuals that they could fall in love in just 45 minutes.

Despite this claim more than 20 years ago, The New York Times published Arthur Aron’s experiment, which was self-replicated by writer Mandy Len Catron, who claimed it worked on a stranger she met in a bar.

Questions to make someone fall in love

In the original experiment, Aron was looking for a way for two people to become quickly intimate. After several weeks of testing and after getting several subjects to answer these questions as a couple, two of the couples present got married .

The experiment consisted, therefore, of answering these 36 questions and then the participants had to look each other in the eye for 4 minutes. According to the author, this created a bond of intimacy that was sufficient for the two people to get to know each other thoroughly and to intensify the connection between them.

In the following lines you can find the 36 questions that this author considers infallible to fall in love when asked in this order. The questions start with trivial issues and then move on to more intimate matters over a period of 45 minutes.

Which person would you invite to dinner if you could choose anyone?

Although it is a seemingly trivial question, it always provides information about the person’s tastes.

2. Would you like to be famous? How?

Fame is often associated with success, but also with narcissism. If you want to know how to detect a narcissist, in the article “How to detect a narcissist… with a simple question” you can read it.

3. Do you rehearse what you’re going to say when you make a phone call? Why?

This can show whether or not a person is spontaneous and whether they have enough confidence in themselves.

4. What would the perfect day look like for you?

There are many questions that allow you to know the personality of another. This is one of them.

5. When was the last time you sang when you were alone? And for someone else?

This can give information about how much a person likes music and their level of disinhibition.

6. If you could live to be 90 and have the body or mind of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, would you do it?

There are people who feel mature for the age they have, and others who feel young despite being old.

7. How do you think you’re going to die?

It can express a person’s fears, but also the way they live their life.

8. List three things you think you have in common with your partner

Having points in common with a person always favors interpersonal relationships, especially if they are important things in both of your lives.

9. What do you feel most grateful for?

A response that can express what the person really values about this life and what makes them happy.

10. If you could change one thing about your education, what would it be?

No one is perfect, but it is good to know and be aware of what our limitations are or what we want to change about ourselves.

11. Tell your interlocutor your life story in four minutes, being as concise as possible

We all have a past and a story to tell. This question makes the other person aware of the most important aspects of his or her life.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow with a new quality or skill, what would you want it to be?

We’d all like to learn new skills or be better at those things. Sharing it with the other person is an act of intimacy.

13. What would you ask a crystal ball if it could tell you the truth about you, about your life, about the future or about anything?

A response that provides information about the degree of curiosity a person has. And how they care about their life.

14. Is there something you’ve wanted to do for a long time? Why haven’t you done it yet?

Sometimes out of fear and sometimes out of lack of time, we stop doing things that really motivate us and make us happy.

15. What is the greatest achievement of your life?

We are all proud of some things in our lives and not so proud of others. A way of knowing what the other person considers most important for his/her life.

16. What do you value most in a friend?

Real friends are like our family, and we generally look to them for qualities similar to ours.

17. What is your most valued memory?

The important things in our lives are usually the ones we remember and value the most. Each person has in his mind those things he considers important.

18. And the most painful?

But it’s not all good things in this life. We can also experience unpleasant situations that we have to live with.

19. If you knew when you were going to die, would you change your way of living? Why?

A way of knowing if the other person is happy with the life they have and whether or not they are really pursuing their dreams.

20. What is friendship to you?

A phrase that provides information similar to the question “What do you value most in a friend?”

21. What role does love and affection play in your life?

We all have priorities in this life, but not for everyone love is one of them.

22. Decide, in turn, what characteristics you consider positive about your interlocutor. A total of five each.

Each of the participants should talk about what they consider to be the most positive aspect of the other person .

23. Is your family loving? Do you think your childhood was better than other people’s?

The family is the most important socializing agent in our lives, and has a great influence on who we are.

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

The relationship with the mother says a lot about how a person is and how they can behave with people close to them.

25. Tell three truths about “us.” For example: “We are in this room feeling…”

A way to bring out what the person thinks about your relationship.

26. Complete the sentence: “I wish I had someone to share…”

He makes it clear what is most important in his life when it comes to sharing it with his partner.

27. If you are going to be a close friend of your partner, share with him something you think is important for him to know about you

Sharing the secrets and things that go on in our heads is a good way to show confidence.

28. Tell your interlocutor something you like about him or her. Be very honest and say something you wouldn’t say to someone you just met

When you have known someone for a long time , intimacy makes you open your heart and confess things you would not normally confess to anyone.

29. Explain to your interlocutor an embarrassing moment in your life

Only when there is enough trust, is it possible to share the shameful things in a person’s life.

30. What was the last time you cried in front of someone? And alone?

Again, one of those intimate questions you wouldn’t answer just anyone.

31. Tell your interlocutor something you already like about him or her

One way to strengthen bonds and build trust between two people is by making it clear that we like the other person.

32. Is there anything you consider too serious to make a joke about?

A sense of humour is a highly desirable characteristic by others. Because people with a sense of humour are liked by the people around them.

33. If you knew that you were going to die tonight without speaking to anyone first, what would you be sorry for never having told? Why haven’t you expressed it until now?

One of those questions that make us reflect on what really motivates us in this life.

34. Your house is on fire and all your possessions are inside. After you save your loved ones and your pet, you have time to recover a single item. What would that be and why?

A way to find out what the other person considers important in their life besides their family and pet.

35. What person in your family would hurt you most if they died?

A question that aims to find out which person the other partner has a stronger bond with .

36. Share a personal problem with your interlocutor and ask him/her to give you his/her opinion on how he/she would have acted. Ask him/her how he/she thinks you feel about the problem you just told him/her

When you open your heart to someone and tell them your problems, it is because trust exists.

Intimate questions to know a person

In addition to the questions proposed by Arthur Aron, it is possible to formulate intimate questions to know how the other person is in intimacy and what expectations he or she has regarding relationships.

37. Are you conservative or liberal in your intimate relationships?

We all have our beliefs about intimate relationships. It’s always good for couples to fit in with each other’s thinking on this subject.

38. What do you value most in a couple?

It’s also important to fit in with a person’s beliefs about their partner. Even though we have been brought up to believe that we should get married, not everyone thinks the same way.

39. How many children do you want to have?

As for having children or not, there can also be discrepancies. This question helps you find out if and when the other person wants to have children.

40. Do you have any dreams in life? What is it?

A question that allows us to know what are the dreams and expectations that the other person has and what are their goals in terms of personal development.