“Lorenzo’s ladle” is a moving story by Isabelle Carrier . The author recreates the daily life of a different child through tender illustrations. His difficulties, his qualities, as well as the obstacles he has to face, are metaphorically represented in a clear and intelligent way.

You can see this story in audiovisual format below:

What does this story teach us?

This week, Alejandra Escura, a child psychologist who collaborates with the Mensalus Institute for Psychological Assistance and Psychiatry, rescues an animated short film that tells the original story of Isabelle Carrier in order to offer some practical guidelines for parents.

Are these kinds of stories worked on from the Psychology office?

Stories that especially use a metaphorical language to transform apparently complicated processes (because of the emotional burden they entail) into simple concepts, are fantastic psychoeducational tools that are very helpful in individual and family therapies.

Its power lies in the ability to speak clearly about what we fear so much and to present it as a natural process that can be approached from a constructive perspective. With stories like the one we present today, we understand that accepting the conflict, the situation, the difficulty, etc. always adds up.

What do we “add” with “Lorenzo’s ladle”?

Good. We especially emphasize the importance of following Lorenzo’s path precisely because of the richness that this very functional vision of the ladle brings. He ends up carrying his red ladle in a bag, which allows him to overcome the difficulties that previously hindered him. He achieves all this thanks to the security offered by an adult reference, a person who, with love and dedication, shows him the way while offering him independence to experience it.

How do parents usually react to the presence of the “dipper”?

Parents fear that their child will suffer and react to this warning. In fact, their anticipatory anxiety is one of the elements that can generate the most emotional tension. For this reason, we work together with families to increase self-awareness about the effects of anxiety at home.

When this anxiety is very high, parents only see “the pot”. If this happens, the overprotection that the alert arouses can seriously hinder the child’s ability to acquire resources in a healthy way.

What examples of attitudes related to overprotection can limit the personal growth of the child?

For example, a continuous reward system. Sometimes parents give excessive rewards (physically or verbally) in order to motivate their child. The result is a disconnect from positive reinforcement as it loses meaning. If the child does not feel that he or she has made an effort and receives a reward, what is the point? For this reason it is important to recognize achievement but also to normalize it so that the child believes in his or her ability to pursue goals naturally. Seeing that adults trust him is the best way.

In this sense, the speeches that enhance wit (e.g. “I liked the way you did “X”, “I see you got “Y” without having to do “Z”, etc.) offer extra information to the child that does not reveal the “dipper” and, instead, shows a particular strategy that is typical of their modus operandi.

There is a moment when Lorenzo hides under his ladle. What guidelines can help parents in these cases?

At first it is important to encourage the child to express how he or she feels and to show understanding. Putting words to emotions opens a channel of communication that increases the child’s insight and helps him or her connect with others. On the other hand, enhancing their abilities again through actions will be our goal. It is the action that will demonstrate to the child how to carry the ladle hanging instead of continuously looking through it.

Having said that, we would encourage parents to go out there with their children in order to enjoy a sport practice, a walk, an excursion, a dinner, a family visit, an educational outing, etc., taking away from the role of the saucepan and giving it to the child and the activity itself.

Living and feeling with the ladle makes the person a free being who finds the resource in himself. Conversely, keeping one’s eyes permanently on the bucket causes it to increase in size (this is when thoughts of limitation break in).

What would you say to all those parents who are reading this interview?

The saucepan is natural, it is part of that person, so it is important not to see it as an obstacle but as an opportunity to acquire essential resources that make it the protagonist of his own life story.

As parents, being there to listen, understand and accompany is the best way to offer the child the opportunity to experience, learn and grow by the side of the pot.