In this article I would like to talk about the emotions, and more in detail, of the six emotions that we least like to feel : shame , sadness , fear , anger , jealousy and guilt .

The importance of knowing the emotions one feels

When I am in front of a patient, I try to convey to him the importance of knowing himself not only through what he thinks, and how he acts with himself and with others, but also through what he feels . The emotional area is sometimes a forgotten area in many self-help books, yet it is essential for change to occur.

Knowing our emotions means that we know how to detect when we feel them, that we can name them ( “This I feel is sadness” ), that we notice them bodily ( “I feel it in my chest area” ), and that we can regulate how we want them to come out (crying, talking, writing about it…).

The six emotions that make us feel the worst

Almost all patients agree that the emotions they least like to feel are the following :

Shame

This emotion is accompanied by an internal self-criticism : “What nonsense I am saying” , “they will think I am…” , “they’re going to laugh at me” … Shame often comes from people with greater insecurity, less self-confidence and low self-esteem. It is an emotion that causes a blockage in relationships with others, and therefore, essential to work in therapy.

I recommend you this post so that you know the critic inside you: “Why do I hate myself? Causes and solutions”

Sadness

Although he doesn’t like to feel it, sadness is perhaps one of the easiest to detect. It can create doubts as to whether we are feeling it too intensely or not, and you may think you are falling into a depression, when what happens is that you are going through a normal period of it. It is essential to make this distinction between sadness and depression . “I feel like crying all the time” , “I don’t feel like doing anything” , “I only see the negative” …

Fear

It appears when we understand that there may be a real or imagined danger . If it is real, the fear is adaptive; if it is an imaginary danger, that fear can become a bondage. “And if such a thing happens…” , “And if I don’t get this…” , “What if…” .

To deepen your understanding of this emotion, you can read: “What is fear for?”

Anger

Of all the emotions I am going to talk about, this is the one that can produce the most ambivalence, in the sense that there are people who can tolerate anger, which happens, is that sometimes they do not handle it in an adaptive way . Either they silence it or it comes out in an uncontrolled way, in the form of anger (shouting, insults…). Anger is important in order to be able to set limits, to express what I do not agree with or do not like or hurt the other person, as long as this is done with respect for the other person. “I don’t like your behaviour, it makes me angry that you tell me…” .

About anger, I can suggest a couple of articles that might help manage it:

“How to control anger: 7 practical tips”

“Emotional Control Techniques: 10 Effective Strategies”

Jealousy

When they appear, they are in front of a third person. That person is considered a rival and if the expression of jealousy is not handled, can become a feeling of wanting to “dominate” or “possess” the other person . It often creates an estrangement and is destructive in relationships. “He loves you more than me, he pays more attention to you than to me…” .

Guilt

It would be the “Jiminy Cricket” that we all have inside us and that appears when we have hurt someone else . “It’s your fault”, “you should have done it differently” …

After having gone through all the emotions, what would you say is the emoticon that you least like to feel? , and what do you usually do with it?