Human beings are relational beings , that is, we can only understand each other in relation to others, and the main place where we learn to do so is in the family. Statistics indicate that around 30-40% of families suffer some form of domestic or partner violence. Partner abuse affects more women, but men can also be victims.

When someone is abused by a partner, it is necessary to distinguish between psychological and physical abuse.

Physical and psychological abuse

Psychological abuse is based on intentional behaviours, executed from a position of power and aimed at devaluing, producing psychological damage, destroying self-esteem and reducing personal confidence. Their suffering leads to depersonalization , at the same time as it generates dependence on the person who inflicts them. The abuser uses insults, accusations, threats, destructive criticism, shouting, manipulation, silence, indifference and contempt.

The physical, in addition to all the above, is done by hitting and causing any kind of physical pain, either with the hands or with other objects, which can cause the death of the person attacked.

Abuse is a process that tends to be prolonged over many years, which starts from a situation of control and devaluation by the husband towards his wife or vice versa , and in which, among other things, he prevents his partner from developing social activities such as going out with friends or visiting his family.

Most abusers do not use violence outside the family

It was initially believed that domestic violence involved irrational, impulsive acts in which the perpetrator did not understand the consequences of his actions. The reality is that it is not a problem of losing control of oneself, but of taking control of one’s partner and/or children.

Most offenders do not use violence against others outside the family, nor do they risk assault in situations where they foresee negative consequences for themselves. Another widespread belief is that partner abuse is restricted to the poorest and most uneducated sectors, but in reality this is not an exclusive phenomenon of the poor, and as one moves up the social ladder there are more resources to hide this situation .

As for alcohol consumption, the reality is that it is a risk factor but has been observed not to be the direct cause of abuse. Many alcoholics are not violent in the home.

Why do some women put up with abuse?

In most cases the abused woman maintains the link with her abuser because she is economically and emotionally dependent , and because she is unaware of her rights. Fear of a fatal outcome also prevents many women from seeking appropriate help from social services.

To prevent gender-based violence, attitudes must be changed through coeducation, education on equal rights from childhood and adolescence, and re-education of adults. Coexistence presupposes free choice and the non-ownership of people.

Men can also be victims of abuse

Partner violence is immediately associated with the battered woman. But, to a lesser extent, men can also be victims of partner violence.

Most cases of gender-based violence in which the man is the victim are due to psychological abuse. Men often do not report for a variety of reasons: lack of legal support and resources for the abused man, credibility problems or fear of ridicule.