Are you a perfectionist?Careful, don’t let it get out of hand!

It is clear, we all have some interest in learning and improving in different areas or aspects of our life . For people with a marked trait of perfectionism, it is the search for excellence that motivates them to improve. To be meticulous, measured, persevering, responsible… are characteristics that can accompany the perfectionist tendencies of the human being, being able to bring out the best in himself. However, frustration, anxiety, stubbornness and lack of efficiency can be the worst enemies of this same behavioural profile.

How to differentiate a “good” perfectionism from one that is not? , At what point can being too much of a perfectionist be counterproductive for oneself? We will now analyze the details that help us to extract the best from this personality trait.

People with an adaptive perfectionism

People who function through adaptive perfectionism, or good, have these characteristics:

  • They set themselves high and motivating objectives , assuming them as challenges, but these objectives are realistic and feasible according to their conditions.
  • The person has a good expectation of self-efficacy, that is, he or she knows that he or she can and will achieve those goals, but accepting the fact that they are not totally fulfilled or in the way he or she has planned.
  • In general, they are people who are demanding with themselves , but they do not fear mistakes or errors, but accept them as part of life, so they do not give up easily in the face of frustration.
  • They are people with extraordinary planning and organization , but with the capacity of sufficient flexibility to attend to setbacks or unpredictable aspects.
  • Perfectionists are able to enjoy and concentrate on their work , they do not focus exclusively on the final result, but are able to learn and attend to the steps required by the process.
  • Another advantage of adaptive perfectionism is that it makes us able to understand and endure that there is a certain degree of uncontrollability in what happens on a daily basis, so that we become more tolerant of uncertainty.
  • Adaptive perfectionism is accompanied by significant self-reinforcement and good self-esteem. Thus, the person is able to value his strengths, reward himself for his achievements and take care of himself.
  • The person with an adaptive perfectionism capable of enjoying a great variety of activities and of disconnecting in spite of the inconveniences or small imperfections to which he or she is exposed on a daily basis at work, in personal relationships…

People with maladaptive perfectionism

In the end, adaptive perfectionism is based on allowing oneself the freedom not to be perfect, and ultimately to be human. It is clear that the profile we have described is highly desired and highly praised on a social, personal and professional level.

But… what happens when we go beyond the limits in which the person begins to experience suffering? In this case, we would talk about a disadaptive perfectionism , with the following characteristics:

  • These people set themselves too many objectives that are not realistic to be fulfilled.
  • They place great emphasis on being overly tidy and controlling and often waste a lot of time on these aspects and on irrelevant details, distracting themselves from what is really important.
  • A person with a disadaptive perfectionism worries a lot about mistakes , who cannot bear to make them, and fears excessively the criticism of others.
  • Does not enjoy his work , focuses only on the result and the reinforcement he will get from others. When he doesn’t get this, he suffers a lot.
  • He thinks that his work is never good enough and that it can always be done better, so he has the feeling that he never finishes the tasks or leaves them incomplete.
  • Emphasizes what is wrong , instead of recognizing what is right. This leads to a weaker self-esteem by disregarding your strengths and focusing on your weaknesses.
  • The excessive self-demanding of perfectionism leads him to develop high levels of anxiety and suffering . He does not tolerate his own error and sometimes the error of others either.
  • You have trouble disconnecting from the goals of perfection , sometimes you can get into a loop where you can’t stop thinking about how to keep improving, correcting mistakes or what needs to be done.
  • He cannot tolerate the frustration of not being perfect, not doing everything right or not controlling it 100%.

Concluding

Disadaptive perfectionism is a way of taking the vital objectives that has great disadvantages . Despite the great efforts made by those who adopt this style of perfectionism, these people are always frustrated, tired or anxious and will not always perform as well as they could if they took a somewhat more flexible attitude.

We all find satisfaction in doing things very well, even perfect sometimes, but that does not mean that we cannot accept from ourselves our imperfections.