assertiveness is a key communication style in many ways. Being assertive means that you express your opinion correctly and defend your point of view, while also respecting the rights of others . Therefore, it is necessary to communicate efficiently with other individuals, but also for our own emotional well-being.

It benefits us because it can increase our self-esteem, make us earn other people’s respect and can even help us prevent and reduce stress. Fortunately, you can learn to be assertive, so in today’s article we explain what characterizes assertive people.

Assertiveness: 3 main areas

The fact is that not everyone communicates assertively, which can lead to interpersonal conflicts that, on many occasions, could be avoided. Assertiveness, moreover, is an attitude that is manifested in how we assert ourselves and how we defend our rights , that is, in the expression of our feelings, needs, preferences and opinions.Always taking into account the opinion of the other person, respecting it and valuing it.

In summary, there are three basic pillars of assertiveness : self-assertion , expression of positive feelings (praise, liking, etc.) and expression of negative feelings (manifestation of dissatisfaction or distaste) in an appropriate and respectful manner.

Characteristics of assertive people

What characterizes assertive people? The following 10 traits are characteristic of assertive people. Do you dare to know them?

1. are self-confident

Assertive people are confident and not afraid to show themselves in this way. In contrast, insecure people often put on a shell and are defensive. In addition, people who are not assertive will let others decide for them, as they have serious difficulty in showing their point of view and saying “no.

2. Respect the opinion of others

And since these people feel confident, t are also able to accept the opinions and beliefs of others . This doesn’t mean that they share them, they just know that everyone has their own opinion.

3. validate the emotions of others

Emotional validation is a process of learning, understanding and expressing acceptance of another individual’s emotional experience. It is key because improves interpersonal relations, as the other individual feels understood with respect to what he feels and favours the verbalisation of what he thinks. Assertive people are experts when it comes to emotionally validating others, which causes an increase in trust between the two actors in the relationship.

You can learn more about emotional validation in our article: “Emotional validation: 6 basic tips to improve it”

4. They listen actively

Assertive individuals listen, really listen . Not only that, but they actively listen. What does that mean? That they pay attention not only to what the other person is saying, but also to what they are feeling and expressing emotionally. They do this by making correct eye contact, without interrupting the other person, and emotionally validating the other person to confirm that they have received the verbal and non-verbal information correctly.

Recommended article: “Active listening: the key to communicating with others”

5. They know themselves

Assertive people know themselves and know the path they are following in life . They are conscious people who have a great deal of self-knowledge. They understand their emotions so they are not afraid of them.

6. Accepted unconditionally

One of the keys to self-confidence is that they don’t think about what others think about them. This happens because they accept themselves as they are and therefore open up to others without expecting anything in return. They have great inner strength, and this allows them to be more successful in their lives.

7. They choose their friends

This type of person usually chooses who will accompany them on their journey through life . At least, as far as possible, they stay away from toxic people because they allow into their lives those people who really deserve to be their friends.

8. They know their limitations but fight with all their strength

Besides accepting themselves unconditionally, they also accept their limitations . However, these people struggle with all their strength to realize their desires, because they are faithful to their ideals. This makes them committed people. In order to accept others, one must first accept oneself.

9. They know how to regulate their emotions

Knowing how to regulate emotions and having great emotional control is a determining factor when relating to others. And assertive people know how to understand and manage their feelings and those of others properly … This allows them to know what the other person needs, and to adapt their tone and message to the circumstances.

10. Deal with conflicts calmly

Therefore, this helps them to deal with conflicts with other individuals in a calm manner . They do not experience more anxiety than necessary when relating to others and are able to deal with conflicts calmly. Not only that, but they also learn from failures or successes because they know they are part of life.