Assertiveness at work: 7 keys to improve it
Effective communication is one of the variables that positively affect the good performance of the organisation. Among the basic communication skills, assertiveness stands out, which is characterized by the capacity that a person has to express his/her thoughts, feelings, emotions and opinions in a firm manner, always respecting the thoughts and feelings that other people have.
In this article we will see some tips to improve assertiveness at work .
Assertiveness and the different types of communication
Knowing how to say “no” is not always easy. Neither is showing our opinions and emotions clearly, taking into account that other people also have their values, opinions and make their own decisions. But even if some people have difficulties in doing so, it is possible to learn to be assertive .
Generally, we talk about different types of communication, among them passive, aggressive and assertive communication.
Your benefits in the company
Assertive people know their own rights, which they defend, always aware of the needs of others. These individuals speak fluently and confidently and are relaxed. They do not mind talking openly about what they think and what the reasons for their opinions are.
But what are the benefits of assertiveness? In summary, the most important are the following:
- Self-knowledge and emotional management improve when the person is assertive, as empathy is necessary to be able to be assertive.
- This ability allows for a greater sense of control over one’s surroundings and oneself.
- It allows to set limits to our behaviour and to help interpersonal relationships, to mark red lines that we should not cross.
- The person’s self-esteem also improves.
- Effective communication is key to a positive work environment and therefore the results of the organization will be positive as well.
- The life satisfaction of individuals is greater, because communicating effectively helps to live more rewarding experiences.
- It is key to resolving conflicts and also preventing them.
To learn more about these benefits, you can read our article: “The 8 benefits of assertiveness: what are they?”
Tips for Improving Assertive Communication at Work
Aware of these benefits, in the following lines we have prepared a list of keys to improve the working environment.
1. Recognize that you are valuable and accept differences
Assertive people are people who have good self-esteem and who are aware of their worth, since otherwise it is not possible to express what one thinks and at the same time recognize that the other actors in the relationship also have their needs and opinions. Self-confidence must be high to be able to open up to others.
Moreover, respecting oneself is essential in order to respect others, and accepting that we are all different is also the principle of assertive communication.
2. Know your limits and respect them
Knowing one’s limits and respecting them is a very important step in becoming an assertive person. Assertiveness is about knowing how to say “no” when someone does not want to do something, but always respecting others. Therefore, it is worthwhile to dedicate efforts to recognize how far our capacities go in order to not assume unachievable tasks .
It is not only essential to know what the limits of one’s self are, but also what rights one has. For example, to be treated with respect and dignity, to make one’s own decisions, to rest, etc.
3. Learn that you don’t always win
Assertiveness is expressing one’s opinions, but it is not about imposing them; it is not about winning every battle. To be assertive it is good to know what you want, but also what the other person wants .
On the other hand, assertiveness has to do with being fair, and that is why it is necessary to know that being assertive is not about imposing our opinions. As with negotiations, it is about finding a balance, not always wanting to win.
4. Active listening
Sometimes we think we’re listening to someone when we actually hear. In this sense, and especially in the case of assertiveness, we must listen actively.
Active listening refers to not only taking into account the speaker’s spoken message, but also his or her non-verbal language and emotional communication . For this reason, we must let the other person express himself, we must not interrupt him with our opinions, nor think about the answer before it has been expressed in full.
Active listening is an art. If you want to know, you can read this article: “Active listening: the key to communicating with others”
5. Be aware of the difference between assertive and aggressive communication
Many people think that verbalizing their own opinions can be imposing their own judgment on others. However, assertiveness refers to how things are said, because in spite of expressing the point of view, it is also necessary to give objective reasons and not to despise the other speaker.
Assertive communication is not about being aggressive or about imposing one’s own law. It is about creating a communicative climate in which one can talk openly about one’s opinions regardless of differences.
6. Improves emotional intelligence
Assertive people are aware of their emotions and know how to regulate them, which is why they are good at relating to others.
In this sense, being emotionally intelligent is key, since empathy is one of its basic components, which is decisive when it comes to understanding and properly handling how another person feels. In short, being emotionally intelligent allows us to adapt the tone and message to the circumstances .
7. Attend an assertiveness workshop
Although many times people talk about assertive people and people who are not, this skill can be learned. There are many courses that teach how to become an assertive person and thus benefit from their advantages.
In addition, it is also possible to attend courses in emotional intelligence such as those you will find in this article: “The 6 best courses in Emotional Intelligence and Personal Development”