The childhood stage is wonderful. However, it brings with it many changes, as children have to internalize in a relatively short time everything that will prepare them for adult life.

This process of psychological evolution is not simply limited to technical aspects, such as learning how to multiply or build correct sentences. A necessary factor for the adequate development of the child is attachment .

What is attachment?

With regard to the first years of life, attachment is understood as the most important emotional and behavioural bond in early childhood , in addition to the affective bond, that is, the feeling that unites the child with one or more persons in the family system.

Attachment is established during the first three months . It gives rise to an internal model of affective relationships, that is, an unconscious representation that, being quite stable in the first year, can be modified by subsequent experiences. Children will trust or not trust certain things, people, etc.

It also serves as a basis for affective relationships, guiding the behavior of others and the way to address them.

A basic need

Attachment is also a universal and primary need . A paediatrician states that spoiling a child means raising him badly, that is, with little respect, little pampering, little love, little hugging; it is impossible to raise him badly by paying too much attention to him, playing with him too much, comforting him too much when he cries or holding him too much.

The child needs a caregiver to become someone, to recognize himself as he is. This allows the baby’s brain to develop as it should, thanks to the social dynamics it starts working with.

Adverse attachment situations give rise to defensive mechanisms, a failure of the brain’s mental and reflective function. Good treatment configures its evolution and the correct functionality of the brain. A baby without attachment is emotionally disconnected .

Functions of Childhood Attachment

The functions that attachment performs during the first years of life are as follows.

1. Seek and maintain proximity

It is very important that the mother or any person in the family is close to the child to know what he feels .

2. Resist separation and protest if it occurs

The child, especially if he is very young, needs his parents to ensure his proper development. In the case of separation, it is more likely that the child will develop behavioural problems or anxiety .

3. Use the attachment figure as a safety base

From this security it is possible to start exploring the physical and social world . This function helps his neurons to connect properly and allows him to go into education and, above all, for the child to organize things and have a clear idea of things, people, etc.

4. Emotional support

In childhood, attachment allows one to feel secure by looking to the figure of attachment for well-being and emotional support .

Types of attachment

The following types of attachment influence the education and upbringing of children.

1. Secure attachment

The attachment figure is the parent who is able to respond appropriately to the child’s emotional signals . In this type of attachment, the child understands the feelings well and can regulate them; they seek closeness and contact; they have positive expectations; they show attitudes of cooperation and empathy; they are easily comforted by the attachment figures; they are socially competent and show normal anxiety in separations.

2. Anxious-ambivalent attachment

It is composed by parents who are loving but do not know how to understand the baby well ; they play less, there is less contact; they are hard and selfish and less sensitive; they respond only to the negative conditions of the child (if a child complains); there is less contact. The child shows intense anxiety; they are hardly comforted by the figure of attachment; they show anticipated anger; they do not agree to rules easily; they ignore their emotional states and there is antisocial behaviour in adolescence.

3. Anxiety-Evitational Attachment

Here there are irresponsible, rejecting parents, intolerable to children, who think that everything the child does is wrong, there are continuous behaviors of anger and rejection . The child has little or no anxiety about separation; he does not want to see his mother with strangers; he avoids rejections and punishments; the child notices that he is not loved, that he is annoying; they are less cooperative and more aggressive.

4. Anxious-disorganized attachment

It is present when parents physically and psychologically abuse their child , manipulate their child. The child is disoriented, approaches the attachment figure but with avoidance of gaze; they are not motivated to reach goals or determined behaviours (they are full of fear and anguish); they fear their attachment figure and look for other people such as doctors or nurses; they are more likely to have behavioural and aggressive problems.