Self-respect. One of the most used, treated, and consequently manipulated concepts in the history of psychology. The cognitive current (that which includes "the mental" within the human equation) is the one that initiated in its moment the concept of self-esteem, defining it as the form (positive or negative) in which we value ourselves.And it is this same branch that defines self-esteem as the main participant of mental health or its absence . With a positive self-esteem, it is more likely that one will have more positive thoughts about the world and oneself, a more optimistic perception of the future, and a greater subjective feeling of happiness .

However, self-esteem is not a fixed factor in our mind, something that does not change over time and does not depend on the situations we live in. In fact, it can grow or decrease depending on something we know as cognitive distortions .

When self-esteem is low…

Self-esteem can give us the opportunity to feel good about ourselves simply by being who we are. However, if self-esteem is negative the effects are reversed. It is not that it is responsible for the factors of these listed factors, but that correlates with thoughts of its own worth , of its own sign so to speak. If we have a bad self-esteem, this will be both cause and consequence of negative thoughts and perceptions.

And it is in this vicious circle that cognitive distortions, irrational ideas and negative automatic thoughts are hidden. The triad of mental illness , according to cognitive psychology. Briefly, we will define irrational ideas as beliefs that have no contact with reality and that are harmful to ourselves (everyone must approve of my behaviour, otherwise I am worthless) and negative automatic thoughts as negative judgements in line with the former (he is not laughing at my joke; I am worthless). Cognitive distortions work by relying on these two elements to make us take a markedly biased view of what is happening.

Where are the cognitive distortions hiding?

If we pay attention to how cognitive distortions operate we see that they are nothing more than the intermediate step between the two already described; the procedure or operation that our mind makes to transform irrational belief into automatic negative thinking . That is, the way in which our own mind attacks us.

Let’s take a general example to simplify things.

We wake up one day full of energy and start the routine circuit of shower, coffee and toast. Not that there’s anything special about the process, but it feels really good. On the way to work we think about how close we are to that Section Director position we’ve been working towards for months.

"Sure I get it, I deserve it" , we think. What is our surprise when we arrive at work and find that next to our desk, the colleague’s things have disappeared and are being transported to the office of the vacant Section Director… They’ve given it to him. It stings, but on the other hand, he is a colleague, and we are happy for him .

Pretty common situation, isn’t it? Let’s see what our minds would do if they followed the logic of some of the more damaging distortions.

Types of cognitive distortions

What are the main cognitive distortions? We describe them below.

1. Hypergeneralization

It consists of choosing a specific fact, drawing a general rule from it and never checking this rule , so that it is always true. Possibly “I’ll never be good enough for the job” is what we would think if we hypergeneralized by not getting it.

We know that we are hypergeneralizing when we use terms that are too absolute to be true: always, everyone, no one, never, no one, everyone.

2. Overall designation

The mechanism would be the same as the previous one. With the same situation, the only thing our mind does differently is to give us a global tag instead of a general rule . So the thought would be: “I’m a failure”.

The moment we begin to employ clichés and stereotypes to our behavior in an insulting way, we must begin to contemplate the possibility that we are falling into this cognitive distortion.

3. Filtration

Through this type of cognitive distortions, the mind filters the lived reality selecting some aspects and ignoring others . In the example, we would focus on the loss of the opportunity of the position, and on how useless we are, but we would overlook the fact of being able to improve and the joy we feel for our partner.

We can worry about this distortion when we repeatedly criticize ourselves for past issues, losses, injustices, or stupidity, or if these terms appear in the criticism.

4. Polarized thinking

If we had committed this distortion, the example given would have started from a premise like: “if I don’t get the job now, my professional future will be over”. This is an absolutist way of thinking; black or white, with no option to grey .

Posing challenges, goals or realities with conditionals (“if not…”) and contrasting options (“either give me the job, or…”) gives us a clue that we are using this distortion.

5. Self-accusation

It consists of thinking in such a way that the blame for the bad always falls on ourselves , which is different from whether we have real responsibility or not. Applied to the example, it would take the form of: “Of course, if I have done everything wrong, how stupid I have been to even dream of the position. I’ll apologize to Peter if he thought I wasn’t happy for him.

One symptom of this cognitive distortion is to be continually asking for forgiveness. We really feel guilty about something in particular, and we compulsively ask for forgiveness.

6. Personalization

It happens in that situation where we feel as if we are guilty or somehow related to all the problems around us. It is similar to self-accusation, only that it monopolizes the reality of everyone around us, giving us the leading role .

In the example, the thought would be something like “I knew it. I knew the boss had it in for me for not saving those clips. What I hadn’t imagined was that he would ally himself with Peter to exclude me.”

7. Mind reading

As the name implies, the error or distortion is in assuming that we know what the other thinks or feels about us . What really happens is that we project our own emotions onto others; we assume that others will think or feel as we do.

Cognitive distortion is especially harmful in this case, because it consists of a constant, real-time attack on self-esteem. Its form would be: “Sure, the boss doesn’t like me. He thinks I’m not doing enough and that’s why he leaves me stuck here.

The mind deceives us. What can we do?

In short, while it is true that this knowledge of cognitive distortions is not exactly new, it is also true that it is not public policy. Today, in a world in which self-esteem has taken on a new digital dimension, it is necessary for us all to emphasise those mistakes that the human mind tends to make when it comes to valuing oneself. The existence of cognitive distortions is a sign that, even though we do not realize it, there are processes that work silently inside our body causing us to have a simplistic and biased version of many issues.

Without going any further, the examples shown here are part of life in such a natural way that they are considered “ways of being” as if human beings were designed to complicate their lives. It is a fallacy to think that we have no choice but to resign ourselves to harming ourselves and not valuing ourselves as we deserve.

Therefore we cannot forget our personal direction in our own lives, and ask ourselves the key question: What now? Will we let this remain a heavy reminder or will we choose to employ these small brushstrokes of knowledge?

As always, the decision is up to each of us .