David Broncano’s 70 Greatest Quotes
David Broncano Aguilera is a famous comedian and Spanish radio/television presenter , born in the city of Santiago de Compostela in 1984. Although he was born in Galicia, he spent his childhood and adolescence in the town of Orcera, in the province of Jaén.
This two-time Ondas Award winner achieved success in his profession with the radio program “La vida moderna”, and is currently breaking all records with his television program “La Resistencia”.
- We recommend reading: “The 27 best sentences by Andreu Buenafuente”
Phrases, expressions and jokes by David Broncano
Who doesn’t know at least one of these two programs? Nowadays Broncano is becoming a humorous phenomenon that absolutely nobody can miss. Would you like to know its best phrases and expressions?
Below we’ll show you the 70 funniest phrases and expressions of David Broncano , which you’re sure to enjoy!
1. But what has passed!
This is one of the funniest phrases that Broncano repeats frequently during his shows.
2. Don’t call me Broncano today, call me Lord Pachacho.
During an interview on the Late Motiv programme, Broncano was presented in this particular way.
3. Suck it up!
A curious phrase from this great comedian that refers to drinking something at once.
4. Pig, Piglet, Piglet, Piglet, Piglet, Piglet.
The ways in which Broncano can refer to a single pig can actually be very varied.
5. Will someone help me find out what this song is? Tititi tatata uuu tatata.
Broncano constantly interacts with his audience, something that the people among him are sure to appreciate.
6. He was a person and he got a bow tie.
The word moñeco is widely used by this particular humorist and comes from the expression “stay a doll”, stay dead.
7. What a stone quarry, the Virgin.
No doubt Broncano has a really curious way of expressing himself.
8. If the night is too fucked up, you might have to stay in a bun.
“Amoche” is another expression popularly used by Broncano, which simply means “death”.
9. Why is it that when you get rich, your eggplant grows very large?
The topic of wealth is very common during his interviews. Broncano is always interested in knowing how much money his guest has.
10. In the Picos de Europa, what a slope!
It is well known that the Picos de Europa have a great altitude, the simple name tells us everything.
11. With this you’ll go to the farm to kill sparrows.
In certain regions of Spain, birds that are hunted are referred to as gorriatos.
12. I’m sorry, but I don’t even know him.
The sincerity of this comedian, takes his own interviews to talk about anything. If he doesn’t know a topic, he just brings up a new one.
13. Pff a temazo!
In this way he refers to the songs that he likes the most. Many of us perhaps do it the same way. Do you agree?
14. Could you summarize World War II?
As we see in this quote, Broncano is not a great connoisseur of World War II.
15. He’s putting me out and giving me this gesture, which I think indicates that we need to continue with the program for five more minutes.
No doubt this comedian is commonly known, for taking on more than one occasion the opposite of his detractors.
16. Pachacho, you bastard!
The combo in his shows is a key aspect, which allows his viewers to get in tune with the comedian himself.
17. The best fiber.
On any subject, however trivial it may seem, Broncano can come up with a good joke. The fiber, for example, can refer to several different things, depending on the context in which we are talking.
18. Ortega Cano on the back of an albino zebra.
The jokes in your programs can be very surreal. We must be careful not to miss any of them.
19. My hands are very sweaty.
Broncano’s spectators know very well this intimate facet of the young presenter.
20. I can show Mufasa the eggs.
You never know which way Broncano will come out! This showman has a very particular way of doing humour.
21. Simba, pull this one.
Poor Simba was also a victim of Broncano’s humor.
22. Those people who are still with the Pokemon Go!
How many people do you know who still play that game?
23. Gñe, today David has been lazy.
He has always been your biggest critic, he knows very well that the bar is very high.
24. My brown dick.
The Resistance program may not be for all audiences at certain times.
25. Stay bow-tied.
Stay a doll or just die.
26. Last night, I was in a refrigerator.
During a program with the famous Andreu Buenafuente, the two discuss the meaning of this funny phrase.
27. The pachachos.
A very curious way for Broncano to refer to his boys.
28. Because you might have a taenia here.
When you have a Taenia, you have a parasite that doesn’t let you get fat no matter how much you eat.
29. That you pray to yourself!
Broncano speaks in this expression referring to the fact that you get fed up or that you get very fat.
30. I got it all vinyl.
That you have it laminated or like new.
31. I used to dunk bulls.
A very particular way of saying that he killed bulls, something that of course is just a joke, he has never really dedicated himself to this profession.
32. Sip it!
Quietly, as if to go unnoticed.
33. Cocaine damages the brain, but in your case it looks like the damage is already done.
Can you make a joke about drug use? Yes, you can.
34. How tall is Andreu Buenafuente?
In this funny sentence Broncano attacks his boss Andreu Buenafuente, another great comedian of the Spanish television.
35. To me already God, already gave me a support for the tablet.
A funny joke by this comedian, which all men will surely understand quickly.
36. This thing gets stuck, you have to hit it with the hammer.
This peculiar way of pronouncing certain things has won him a great number of admirers. It certainly brings fresh air into the world of humour.
37. Have him do a little bumper stick.
Who hasn’t left a door with something that makes it bumpy? Especially to keep it from closing.
38. A pachacho dies here.
When a pachacho dies, he deserves a big goodbye.
39. Better than jimsonweed!
Stramonium is a drug that causes severe hallucinations and in a high dose causes death.
40. My joke for when North Korea qualified for the World Cup was that, since they said it was the group of death because it was with Brazil and Côte d’Ivoire, I said that whatever group North Korea is in is the group of death.
It takes courage to laugh at North Korea, a dictatorship that is among the most bloodthirsty in the world.
41. The other was that the matches with North Korea are decided by sudden death.
With North Korea it can be very difficult to play a football match, something that no one would like to have to do.
42. If you’ve been that far away and you say you know him… According to this I also know (Roger) Federer.
Broncano is a well-known tennis fan and as he often says, a friend of Rafa Nadal.
43. You’re the Oprah Winfrey of Albacete.
This is how he baptized Ernesto Sevilla, when the latter gave money to one of his spectators.
44. How can I have a Murcia accent? That’s worse than having an STD.
As we can see in this sentence Broncano is not a fan of the region of Murcia.
45. I wish you’d said something else to me like David, you look like you’re missing a water.
Toileting can be a good subject for humour and this presenter takes every opportunity to do so.
46. In Spain, jokes are punished more than insults.
Being a comedian nowadays can be a bit complicated, as many collectives denounce any joke that they find offensive.
47. I didn’t have a vocation as a comedian, I was just a fan, but I wrote a monologue… and it all shot.
The monologue Broncano is referring to is one he wrote for the famous program “The Comedy Club”.
48. I’m 31, these are all much older, uh.
Many of today’s top comedians are, as we see in this sentence, much older than this well-known millennium.
49. In the last year I have noticed a jump in popularity. The sum of presences in different media has created a Bronze bubble that has been gradually inflated. But it’s small, eh. A mini bubble.
The success of this comedian has been increasing during the last years, being at the highest levels nowadays.
50. Although I noticed that things were getting out of hand when I was approached by El Drogas, a singer from Barricada, to tell me that he was a fan. And I went crazy because I imagined him subverting the pillars of Western society and not watching YouTube.
Who would expect a rocker of this level to be a fan? This time Broncano got a good dose of reality. Fame can catch anyone off guard.
51. To laugh is to laugh, now and forever.
Humor has always started from the same base, but over time this base has spread and changed in its behavior.
52. The big difference is freedom. We are allowed to do and say what we want.
Nowadays, comedians can use spaces such as youtube or social networks to get their message across.
53. There are no limits to humor. No nuances. If anything, Muhammad, because they kill you and it’s not a plan.
Muslim humor has always been frowned upon by its believers.
54. The environment, the public, the climate… everything is better now.
Nowadays, the public is able to assimilate a very different kind of humour to the one that was used in the past.
55. A comic doesn’t necessarily say what he thinks or feels about a subject, he says what will make him laugh.
When a comedian makes a joke about some subject, he is not expressing his true opinion, he is only making a joke about it.
56. Recently I had an ETA joke with me, who sees that the market for ETA jokes has been liberalized, but at the last moment I put the brakes on because it was going a step further and I knew it would be misinterpreted.
The subject of ETA in Spain can be very complicated to deal with, since a subject like this can really hurt many sensibilities.
57. The worrying thing is that the limits of humour in Spain are being talked about as if we were in a transgressive and avant-garde country, when nothing serious is being said. It is a very light mood that offends.
Humour in Spain is currently being closely examined by certain social groups, as it seems that nowadays there will always be a group that feels badly about our humour.
58. If I could think of something really funny about a really fucked-up subject, I’d have to say so. I owe it to my profession!
As we can see in this Broncano quote, he never self-censorship when sharing a joke.
59. If, in addition to the lifelong barrier, the left won’t let us make cripple jokes, we’re screwed.
Politicians of all political stripes have at some point attacked any comedian for his jokes.
60. If you’re from the social home and you’re shouting with a megaphone that you have to kill the fucking faggots, you’re serious. And there’s no punishment there.
Some radical groups make insults to certain groups and are not as sanctioned as comedians.
61. Those who define themselves as politically incorrect and in reality are more façades than the mother who gave birth to them.
As we can see from this quote, Broncano is not very comfortable with people who prove to be right-wing extremists. Most likely, Broncano himself feels akin to a center-left ideology.
62. Get the boat, oé!
This is a phrase that in the program “La Resistencia”, Broncano with all the spectators that are in the plate says to his more wealthy interviewees.
63. I was in the mountains of Madrid climbing and skiing, because I had the day off, and they asked me to do the program. I told them that they were leaving me for the afternoon, but that I was going there.
This presenter does not miss an opportunity to make a joke, no doubt for him, presenting “Late Motiv” was something very important in his career.
64. It’s a brutal responsibility, because it’s the most powerful show on TV. It’s like driving a Ferrari.
One of the greatest honors that Broncano experienced was being able to present this great program directed by Andreu Buenafuente.
65. You caught me by surprise. I hope I don’t knock the pavilion over.
Honesty is one of the most important aspects of this presenter, something that helps him connect with his audience.
66. The other day someone said to me on Twitter: “It’s a shame that the biggest representative of the Catalan language in Spain right now is David Broncano”.
Although he is not Catalan, Broncano defends himself very well in this particular language, something that a good part of his audience finds curious, to say the least.
67. It’s just that the ‘process’ is so much game. Those of us outside Catalonia do not care, and even those of us in the position of “come on, let’s get on with it” are less touchy.
What Broncano calls “the process” in this quote is a conflict that currently divides the Spanish population because one of its regions, Catalonia, has a strong nationalist movement.
68. In my career there is never a consecration. It’s one more step.
Great careers never have a single end, their protagonists are always in development throughout their active time.
69. If it crosses your path, fine, but I’m very happy with what I’m doing now.
Today, this comedian lives a life with which he feels satisfied, but he is not closed to making certain changes in the future either.
70. Would you dare to note yourself? He’d give me a “Kid’s Making Adequate Progress”, like in elementary school.
He knows very well that to get where he has been able to go is already a great achievement, but we all know that it is a race that has only just begun.