The stage of maturity has been and continues to be studied by psychology, and although there is no rule that defines exactly what maturity is in its entirety, psychology has used an interdisciplinary science of a great variety of constructs in order to bring together and give a definition that is not only psychological but integrative of what this stage of life involves.

The dictionary of the royal Spanish academy defines maturity as that stage in which one has reached the fullness of life and has not yet reached old age . Theorists have concluded that maturity fluctuates between 45 and 65 years of age and is for many the stage where responsibilities (family or work) end gradually: those who formed a family in their youth, for example, see their children form new families and move away from home.

In short, maturity is a transitional stage that all human beings are destined to live through. A phase in which people, in general, have reached a large part of their professional, family, social, academic and other goals. Of course, this does not mean that it is exempt from crises and potentially problematic phenomena.

The crisis of divorce

Among the many crises and problems that usually occur at this stage, there is one that has been on the rise in the last 10 to 15 years: divorce . The possibility of experiencing this stage usually increases in this stage of life, a phenomenon with a multi-causal origin and about which it is not always easy to intervene from psychology.

Interestingly, about two decades ago it was less common to think about a divorce at this stage of life. Although there were cases, it was not the alternative to choose if there were marital problems, because many people considered that this stage is where you can enjoy more and without so many complications the life of a couple. Time to enjoy the company of the spouse with privacy, in short.

Social and even religious issues have taken a back seat and divorce has become so prevalent that it is considered the most viable option when you no longer want to live with your partner.

What can cause a divorce?

A divorce cannot be explained by a single cause, but there are certain aspects that influence it more than others. For example, several mental health experts state that one of the causes of divorces in middle age or later is due to what they have called the empty nest syndrome, which consists of the feeling of loneliness and abandonment that some parents or guardians may experience when the children stop living in the same home and/or form a family.

Experts point out that most couples focus more on parenting and less on the relationship, and when children go through their cycle within the family and parents are left alone, they discover their spouses in their entirety, with all their pleasant and unpleasant aspects that were not so apparent before. If, in addition, there have been marital problems within the relationship that have not been resolved (infidelities, conflicts in the distribution of tasks, etc.), the syndrome becomes the quickest way to end the marriage or marital relationship.

Fitting in the divorce with fortitude

A divorce at this stage of maturity tends to be very painful , as the idea of reaching old age alone terrifies many people. Not having a companion, not having physical or emotional support, can be devastating for them.

For example, the British Medical Journal , published a study on older people, which stated that loneliness caused by widowhood, separation or divorce, increases the risk of suffering cognitive impairment later in life. This can be interpreted as an effect of the social and emotional impoverishment that some of these people may experience.

Love may come to an end, but a much more difficult task arises after all this stage. And that is to break the emotional ties that have bound us to that person for years, a difficult task to overcome.

Can a divorce be avoided?

Every couple has its own history and no exact and correct formula can be given to this question as every couple is very different. However, the question “can a divorce be avoided” is in itself a sign of a problem: consider that under certain conditions one partner may be able to decide for the other person .

The point is to make a good balance of the needs and objectives that the other person may have, and to apply self-criticism to see in which points it is oneself who is favouring the appearance of conflict s . And, if the other person wants a divorce, respect his decision. Divorce becomes an ordeal when one of the two parties does not want to accept it, and refuses to step aside from the relationship.

What do you do if the divorce comes up in maturity?

Yes, divorce is a very difficult stage, but the attitude we take towards it will be indispensable in order not to transform this crisis into something greater. The objective must be to go through the divorce in a peaceful way and with an appropriate self-regulation of the emotions .

When someone is going through a divorce, there is always a need for people who are very trustworthy in these moments, people who serve as emotional support and whose history of experiences and emotional ties to the person are very suitable for listening and caring for the person going through this painful stage. Empathy plays an important role.

To do this, it is good to let them know that their support is needed (if it is needed at all) so that they can act accordingly by being informed: some people may assume that their attempts at rapprochement and consolation may be poorly received.

However, in some cases staying calm will sometimes be impossible. When the situation becomes untenable it is best to seek professional help.

Once the divorce process is over, it is advisable to do sports activities if the person is able to do them, or r ealize some activity that breaks the routine and is pleasant . It is also useful to work on improving self-esteem, which may have been compromised during the divorce.

Bibliographic references:

  • Graig, G. J. and Baucum, D. (1999): Psychological development. Mexico City: Pearson.
  • Berger, K. S. (2008): Developmental psychology: adult and aging. Madrid: Editorial Panamericana.
  • Caballo, V. (2010): Therapy and Behavior Modification. Faculty of Psychological Sciences, University of Guayaquil.