Traditionally, a woman’s libido level has been considered to be lower than a man’s . History shows how throughout the centuries women have seen their desire for intimate relationships undervalued, reducing their sexual life practically to procreation and the satisfaction of the male. However, in recent historical stages the figure of the woman has undergone an unprecedented revolution, questioning all beliefs that the role of women is (or should be) different from that of men.

This evolution in the consideration towards the female figure (among other demands) has also meant a revolution also in the sexual field, acquiring the female desire value at a social level and starting to be much more accepted. However, men are still generally considered to have a higher libido. This leads us to ask: what has caused such a belief? Do women really feel less desire?

Analyzing the Myth of Sexual Desire

The studies and research carried out have made it possible to answer the question posed above . The conclusions reached show that women respond to the presence of an erotic stimulus with the same speed as men. It has also been shown that the excitatory response of women on a physiological level is more non-specific than that of men, with physical activation occurring with a greater quantity of different stimuli.

It is true, however, that the stimuli that produce desire at the conscious level tend to be different between the sexes. While men generally see desire activated by the sense of sight, in the case of women the attraction is mediated by a greater number of variables, such as voice and smell. This is partly explained as a result of neuroanatomical differences: the preoptic medial nucleus is one of the brain nuclei that regulates male sexual behaviour, while that of women is located in the ventromedial nucleus of the hypothalamus.

It has also been shown that at a cognitive level women also have a high level of excitability and desire, with elements such as erotic games and fantasies being more elaborate and used by the female sex. Thus, this and other research shows that the view that puts female desire below male desire is largely wrong. But… what has provoked this kind of thinking?

The reasons for the underestimation of female desire

According to various experts, the reasons for women being considered less desirable than men at the social level are due to a number of causes, essentially linked to the education received by both sexes throughout history. Specifically, the existence of a restrictive education with the expression of the libido in women is mentioned, which has been badly seen and valued at a social level if it manifested it . For this reason, women have tended to hide their desire, learning over time to ignore their needs in this area and limiting their role to that of being desired.

Another of the main reasons derived from the previous one is the consideration of the image of the woman, object of a clear dichotomy during many centuries: either she was a pure, good and exemplary housewife or she was practically held by a professional of the sex, considering these last ones immoral and indecent. The traditional culture and view of libido has been centred on men, so that the existence of much of the view of sex, including the present one, has originally been designed to appeal to men. Therefore, women have found it difficult to feel included in this area.

The lack of efficient sexual education, together with the hidden situation of the genitals inside the body, have also produced great difficulties in the knowledge of one’s own body for the female figure, not seeing their genitals as erogenous zones and having serious difficulties in enjoying one’s own sexuality, being for example female masturbation a practice little practiced or encouraged until recent times. A vision of the erotic act very centered in the coitus and the genitals also contributes to this, being avoided other erogenous zones that can cause a great activation of cognitive type in the woman.

Also, the risk of infections and pregnancy has led to the rejection of sexual activity ; a rejection that is currently called sex aversion disorder.

Changing Gender Roles

Currently, however, the situation has changed to a great extent , producing a great liberalization of sexuality in all its senses and promoting sexual diversity. Today women can satisfy much more freely, without being seen as badly off in principle (despite the fact that a certain taboo and reluctance to abandon rejection in some areas still persists) and actively seeking the satisfaction of their desire.

Gender roles have also relaxed: women are more impulsive, sexual, competitive and aggressive, abandoning their passive role in society. Consequently, men are no longer the only ones who play an active role and seek the satisfaction of their impulses, and social pressure and expectations regarding these are also reduced.

But… have the roles attributed to each gender in relationships changed?

The image that predominates in the mind of a large part of the population regarding the bond between the components of a couple is that while the man has a clear preference for the satisfaction of his desire in the couple’s relationship, the woman, on the contrary, tends to focus more on romantic and affective details .

This image is not correct, or at least not in today’s world. Data from a study by the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction suggest that in fact, the establishment of sexual relations is observed by men in a much more emotional way than by women, with embracing being a better predictor of happiness in a relationship for men while in the case of women the level of sexual satisfaction is a better indicator.

The cause of this may be due to the role traditionally attributed to each gender. While the male has to be strong, protective and aggressive, generally not emitting his emotions, in the case of women the social role traditionally attributed to their sex as a fragile and vulnerable being has allowed the expression of fears, doubts and feelings. In this way, the male has learned to express his sentimental aspect through acts and not words, resulting in sexual relations a form of expression of intimacy, of his vulnerable and emotional side. Thus, studies indicate that men use their libido as an element of rapprochement with their partner, which is sometimes difficult to manifest otherwise.

In the case of women, the fact that sexual satisfaction is a better indicator may come from the very sexual liberalisation of the female gender that has been repressed for so long, as well as from an attempt to get closer to the partner through what many people consider to be the fundamental thing for the male gender. All this, however, refers to the experience of sexuality in consolidated couples, but not in the case of sporadic relationships, where men continue to show a greater predominance of seeking relationships with a large number of partners.

Bibliographic references:

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