Does physique matter when it comes to flirting? 3 reflections on beauty
Before the world ends, we will stop asking ourselves this question: does physics matter for flirting?
It would be an unconsciousness to say no , that the physical doesn’t matter at all and that handsome and ugly people flirt equally. It only takes a look around to realize that the handsome ones attract more than the ugly ones and are more successful in finding a partner.
Does being attractive make you more attractive? Does physique matter?
But, what is to be handsome and what is to be ugly? The answer may vary depending on who answers. Feúra and guapura are often very subjective concepts. We can say that such a person is beautiful or that such a person is ugly. But if we focus on what makes them ugly or what makes them pretty, things change; it will be more difficult to answer. The same thing could happen if we show a group of friends a picture of a boy and ask them if they consider him ugly or handsome. It will probably create a small debate about tastes, opinions and preferences.
- I recommend you to stop and read this post: “11 things you should never do to try to seduce”
Next, we will present three reflections on ugliness and beauty that will help you think differently and observe beauty from three different perspectives. It is possible that by the time you finish reading this article, your self-esteem is starting to rise.
1. Go out and observe
Let’s go for a walk and feel the sun and the fresh air on our faces. Let’s walk around carefully watching the people in the street. We are sure to see people of all genders, races, ages and classes. Let’s look at each one of them and try to determine if they are handsome or ugly. Let’s compare them, first, to each other. Let’s look at their eyes, their mouths, their bodies… Let’s walk around like judges at a beauty contest.
Then, let’s change the subject of comparison to ourselves. Let’s contrast ourselves with the rest of the people. It may be easier for us to judge if we use our self-concept as a filter. According to our self-esteem, there will be more people in the bag of the handsome than in the bag of the ugly and vice versa. Finally, before going home, let’s compare the people who pass by on the street with the beauty standards that have been implanted in us by the cinema and advertising; let’s compare all the kids with Brad Pitt . Things change, don’t they? The ugly sack is probably full of them.
2. Let’s reinterpret genetics
In The Journey to Love , Eduard Punset explained very well what love is and its attraction mechanisms . In his book he explained something that everybody knows: people are attracted to each other and, as a consequence, we see individuals with better genetics more beautiful.
According to this theory, the people with the best physique are the ones who have the most bonding . Therefore, people with the best genetics are the ones who are more flirtatious. But what is genetic and what is not? We are used to understanding that genetic traits are palpable and observable characteristics: colour of the eyes, muscles, height, hair, teeth… but isn’t personality observable?
Don’t we observe people’s behaviour according to their actions and their way of being? Isn’t intelligence, cognitive skills or humour also genetic? Just as we go to the gym to make the most of our bodies, can’t we train our personality to be more attractive? How many times have we heard a girl say “that guy was hot until he opened his mouth”?
3.Darwin could explain a few things
Let’s remember our school days. Who could get more of a flirt back then? The stages of socialization and learning mark us for life and it is in adolescence when we forge many of our beliefs about beauty. If we become evolutionists and remember what they told us about Darwin in school, we can understand why hooligans, boys who excelled at sports or boys who were simply beautiful because they had beautiful eyes and hair, always picked up.
Regarding the reason why ‘hard guys’ flirt more, I think it is essential to read the article “Why women prefer hard guys” by psychologist Bertrand Regader, in which he explains the personality profile ‘Dark triad’ that attracts women so much.
The bad guy attracts, but it’s a downward trend…
According to evolutionists, girls are attracted to males who can protect them and give them better offspring. Although this theory is highly debatable, there is some truth to it. If we stick to this hypothesis, we can understand why in high school it was always the same guys who got to pick up the girls they liked. The girls had families who protected them and needed nothing else. They didn’t have to look at the smart guys. They only had to look at the good-looking guys because their stability did not depend on them, at least not financially. If we think about the previous reflection, for them beauty was reduced to something superficial and banal because their needs at that time were already covered on the other hand.
In short, beauty is a subjective factor that has genetic roots , but that we can work on, either physically or intellectually. The canons of beauty are references that we must take into account but, outside the television, there is a real life in which we must live happily. Let’s not let the learning and beliefs that we generated in the past torment us and let’s learn to understand the world in a new way that protects and improves our self-esteem and self-concept.
More tips on how to be more attractive (even if you think you’re not)
Recently we published a post that can make you value the issue of physical attractiveness from another perspective. In addition to what we have already exposed, you must take into account that there are some keys to be able to attract other people . The experience and polishing some details can make us much more attractive when it comes to finding someone to share special moments with.
- You can check it out by reading this post: “10 ways to be more attractive (scientifically proven)”