All of us, at some point in our lives, suffer a great disappointment or an immense sadness, of those that drag on for a long time, that never seem to end.
The popular saying is that time heals all. In this article we will reflect on what is true about this phrase that circulates by word of mouth when someone is going through a bad time .
While it is true that time helps us to see things differently and we can grow as people, it is also necessary to do our part to overcome the adverse situations that arise on a daily basis.
Time helps, but is it all about leaving the bad times behind?
People are flesh and blood but we have feelings, and throughout our lives we experience traumatic events that mark us and, in some cases, allow us to grow . But growing is a process that we ourselves must work on. We must learn from the experiences that happen to us.
While time can be a great ally, there is more to it than just letting the days, weeks and months go by. The key is us and how we take advantage of those difficult experiences to make a leap as people.
What does science say about the healing power of time?
The phrase “time cures everything” is tremendously popular, which is why a group of scientists asked the question: “How true is this assumption? In a study, conducted by Arizona State University and published in the journal Perspectives on Psychological Science, researchers confirmed that time does not really heal all wounds. Sometimes the passage of time does not minimize the pain we feel or the sadness we experience.
To speak of time as the only variable that is related to emotional healing is incorrect. The myth that time heals everything is discredited by this research, and that “things will soon get better” may seem like good advice in theory, but not in practice. Believing that time will heal everything can lead a person to passively wait for the best by magic, and in reality, time only makes sense if an individual acts actively to regain his or her well-being.
To assume that time cures everything is to leave your future and your happiness to chance or luck, and as any expert in personal development would say, happiness depends on oneself (at least in large part) . To say that time heals everything is dangerous because it makes you not a critical person, nor do you need to improve the aspects of your life that need improvement. It’s just sitting around, waiting for the improvement to happen on its own. In short, it is making the pain and suffering last longer. True healing requires self-awareness, self-acceptance, and hard work.
What does science say about the pain of love?
Love is one of the most rewarding experiences, but it can also cause great suffering. When someone is going through a period of disaffection, it is common for them to think that in time they will get better.
In time it is possible to be well, but that does not mean that time is the reason for recovery. In fact, if we do not do anything to improve, we may live thinking about the person we love for a long time, sometimes longer than expected. Having a broken heart (in reference to the lack of love), causes many problems for people’s physical health. For example, heart problems, as shown by studies from the University of Aberdeen or the British Heart Foundation-funded, which investigated 52 patients, aged between 28 and 87, for four months.
This study showed that people who have had their souls broken suffer from a condition called “broken heart syndrome,” which changes the structure of the left ventricle located in the vital organ. Despite overcoming the heartbreak, the physical symptoms remain for the rest of their lives.
Tips for Overcoming Emotional Pain
Human beings experience emotions and not all of them are positive. In some moments of our lives, we can have a bad time . But overcoming difficult stages can help us to grow and be better people.
In the following lines we present some advice that can help you overcome emotional pain and regain mental well-being.
Recognize emotional pain and be aware
The first step in overcoming emotional pain has to do with being aware of it. If we are not aware, we can hardly remedy it. This may seem simple, but the society in which we live makes us believe that having a hard time is for the weak. Nothing could be further from the truth, for experiencing pain can help us to overcome it.
2. Treat yourself with compassion
People tend to be hard on themselves when they are having a hard time. But the best alternative in these cases is to treat each other with love and accept that people suffer.
3. Take your time, but live in the present
Time, as we have said, is not everything when it comes to overcoming life’s bad moments. However, we must let it pass, because if we seek our personal development and acquire coping tools, we will feel better in time. Letting time pass is good, but we must live in the present moment.
4. Empower yourself
When you’re having a hard time, you may think bad things only happen to you, or you may think you’re not worth anything. These thoughts will only invite you into a negative spiral from which it will be difficult to get out. Look for realistic goals and activities that you like. In short, find meaning in your life and empower yourself to face life.
- If you want to know more tips, you can read our article: “The 10 keys to dealing with emotional pain”