Human beings are rational animals, but we have focused so much on the logical aspects of ourselves that we often seem to forget or want to forget that we are also emotional beings. We can think, we can analyze the events of our life, make decisions, create, reflect, but also and above all we feel.

In some way, our emotions are present at all times in our life . When we fall in love, we feel something for another person; but also when we smell freshly baked bread we can notice different nuances in a very vivid way or even feel different. In the same way, when we are with friends enjoying a good conversation; or simply sitting on the couch at home with a blanket when it is cold or raining outside. We feel love, nostalgia, satisfaction, comfort, relaxation, ease…

We love being able to feel these kinds of things, they make us value life, enjoy small and big moments, feel present in the here and now and value things. But we do not usually take into account the emotions that are often considered “negative”, just to try to avoid them.

The management of negative emotions

No one likes to be scared, or sad, or stressed, grief-stricken, down. Feeling shame or guilt or remorse about something. But, although we don’t like to feel this way, we couldn’t feel the pleasant emotions either if we are not able to accept the negative ones too .

For example, when we love someone, it is also normal to be afraid of losing that person, and of course very normal to be terribly sad if that person disappears from our life. The price of being able to feel the wonderful emotion that is love, is being willing to be able to suffer at some point.

But unfortunately, sometimes the fear of one’s own painful emotions is so great that we spend our lives avoiding feeling them, denying their existence and implying that we are actually “stronger” than we really are, when it is not a question of strength to feel more or less sad about something, but of the ability to give oneself more to a person or not.

In fact, there are people who fear their “negative” emotions so much that they are unable to look for positive emotions . For example, this is what happens when someone prefers not to risk having a job that excites them but demands a certain responsibility, for fear of failure. Or when they do not start a relationship for fear of suffering. There are many examples of this.

Denying a part of one’s life

The problem with acting in life by avoiding feeling negative things is mainly that we move away from positive experiences. If I am not willing to risk anything, I cannot receive anything or feel anything.

Is it worth living like this? Do we really get to live like this? Sooner or later, and no matter how much we want to avoid it, we realize that our emotions are part of ourselves, and fighting them is fighting us. In some moments the rational part can win the battle , but in others the emotions that invade us more the more we try to get away from them.

The importance of reconciling ourselves with our emotional side

The good thing about all this is that if we stop fighting, if we are able to understand that there are no good or bad emotions, but that they are all good and adaptive to the circumstances in which we find ourselves, we can stop running away from them, accept them, understand them and express them in a way that is consistent with our needs.

No matter how sad a person is, if he accepts his emotion and expresses it, time can heal his wounds. When instead one forbids feeling this pain and locks it up inside oneself , time does not succeed in healing anything, it only keeps it locked up with great effort and with the inconvenience that many times it then turns against us.

Knowing the usefulness of each of our emotions, and adding to the definition of ourselves the fact that we are rational and emotional animals, can help us understand ourselves more, accept ourselves and be able to live through both the good and bad things that happen to us in life. After all, we learn from the bad, too.