Most of the problems in the world that you may have in relation to your development as a person (or professional) usually have the same origin: a communication problem .

We live with too many difficulties to connect with others, be it the partner, the children, the friends, the clients, the co-workers… Communication is a key skill to connect with the other, but it is also the one that we neglect the most. And in this field, highlights the importance of empathic communication . In this article we will see why this is key.

Problems connecting with others

Why is it so difficult to connect with others and there is always confusion and conflict because of communication? Because every human being interprets what happens to them in a certain way and according to their own filters, belief system and experiences.

All your experiences and the way you manage and understand your emotions (your fears, insecurities, guilt, longings, etc.) have made you see life in a concrete way, and that influences your communication. When trying to connect with another person, everyone can give a very different meaning to what we say , so it is very difficult for us to connect.

What are all these problems leading to? In the personal sphere, they lead us to feel isolated, to live with constant arguments (this is common if the communication problem is in the couple), to not be able to express ourselves, to have many difficulties in saying no and establishing our limits, etc. These problems grow like a snowball going down a hill.

In the professional field, which is no less important, organisational problems, low productivity and conflicts arise , due to non-transparent communication that covers up certain conflicts that must be faced and resolved. At the same time, if you want to undertake or work with clients or with a group you need to influence positively (students, work team, etc.), that your communication is positive, emotional and connected is basic.

For 10 years I have accompanied as a psychologist and coach people in deep change processes to overcome their problems and live with another approach to life that is more positive and allows them to achieve new goals. What is surprising and what I didn’t know when I started doing it, is that communication was so important. In practically 100% of cases, I discovered that it is always necessary to work with the person’s communication to achieve real changes in their life (personal, professional, couple, etc.). In fact, if you visit Empoderamientohumano.com, the online personal development school where I can accompany you, you will see several processes to develop your empathic communication.

What is empathic communication?

So, the apparent problem is actually the great solution… to develop your empathic communication. This is the ability to communicate in such a way that you connect with the way the other person communicates, which generates empathy, trust and allows you to express yourself, understand and create more powerful and deeper personal ties .

It is, on the other hand, a skill that has several key characteristics:

1. Active listening

It’s about listening to the other in such a way that you don’t judge them or interpret or value them , but you really understand their point of view and respect it as their personal vision (which you don’t intend to change or fight against). The opposite is making value judgments, and this is one of our most common communication problems. This, which can be so simple, is what is most difficult for us.

2. Adapt to each other’s system

Sometimes, to win, you have to give in. In fact, if you give in you overcome yourself and the ego that does not allow you to connect with the other. If you adapt your communication system to the other (according to their point of view), you generate much more empathy. This is done through respect, using similar forms of speech, paraphrasing, and with other techniques that you can develop through a plan of action and expert professional company.

3. Opening

In other words… it’s about not wanting to be right. Wanting to be right (even when you think you are) is just ego, pride, and doesn’t allow you to connect.

You might think, “If I give in on everything, they’ll dominate me.” But that is also fear and pride . With an empathic communication you are not dominated, but you understand, you connect and you can solve conflicts and move forward.

Advantages

The advantages of empathic communication are not only in resolving conflicts, but there are many more:

1. It allows you to live the life you want

Your way of communicating is a reflection of your way of thinking and seeing life . If the messages you give yourself change, it will also change that focus, your actions and the life you want.

2. It will improve your personal relationships

Whether with friends, partners, co-workers, associates, clients or children.

3. You will save yourself a lot of stress

The vast majority of the stress we feel on a daily basis comes from not being able to understand or make ourselves understood .

4. It will help you in your personal or professional development, in any field

If you develop this important skill, you will have a pillar of personal development at your side.

Developing your empathic communication is not something you can achieve in a couple of days, but in a few months if you have the right company. I recommend you to visit Empoderamientohumano.com to take the first steps (if you want, you can ask me for a private session, you tell me your situation and I help you to give the first advance).

Bibliographic references:

  • Goleman, D. (1996). The roots of empathy. In D. Goleman (Ed.), Emotional intelligence. Barcelona: Cairos.