Personal relationships are double-edged. On the one hand, they allow us to obtain the affection and protection that the company of friends and family provides, as well as the products and services that others seek. But on the other hand, they increase our chances of entering into conflict.

Envious people are a constant source of conflict , among other things, because it is not even necessary to come into direct contact with them. Knowing how to recognize them is very useful, since it allows either to help them out of this relational dynamic or to take into account their predisposition to avoid short-term problems.

The characteristics of envious people

In everyday life we tend to hide those characteristics that we know are not well seen. Envious people do so too, but it is still possible to recognize those signs that identify them as such. Let’s see what they are.

1. Attention-based self-esteem

The self-esteem of envious people is based especially on appearances, the aesthetic. This makes them easily compare themselves with others , since our appearance, our charisma and other qualities based on appearances are easily recognizable, even if we do not expressly look at them. We simply value them automatically in a matter of seconds.

Thus, envious people are capable of being attacked simply by the aesthetics of people they consider better than themselves without even knowing them.

2. Use of commonplace teasing

Jealous people can use any resource to humiliate someone they consider their rival, and this can be seen in their criticism of others. Their negative comments about other people often have no substance and are limited to insinuating supposed qualities that in many cases are not even negative from a rational perspective.

For example, they may resort to accusing someone of being a vegetarian, or homosexual, or of not having a car. They are comments that portray the person who pronounces them more than the person to whom they are addressed, but they take advantage of a historical unpopularity that does not need to be justified (in the case of homosexuality, it goes far beyond simple unpopularity; there are propagandistic campaigns aimed at stirring up hatred against them).

3. Undermining the merits of others

Whether they have participated in it or not, jealous people tend to attribute the success of the rest to luck or the intermediation of others. The idea is to avoid as much as possible that someone in their environment stands out a lot , and if they have to spread rumors about not very noble methods of climbing the organization charts or gaining fame, they will do it anyway.

4. Discouragement

When faced with other people’s exciting projects, envious people try to dissuade them from trying , usually by appealing to “good sense” and “rationality”, that is, they encourage people to question their own abilities. This is done in a systematic way, regardless of whether these initiatives are realistic or not.

5. The demonstration of power

Although this is not as common as the other characteristics, in some of the envious people who are also very narcissistic, it happens that they try to get everyone to see their achievements so that they can win positions in that constant competition that they believe is social life.

6. Machiavellian vision of friendship

Jealous people may see many of their friends as a means to improve their image and be at the same level of popularity as “the rivals”. Therefore, they try to make people in their close circle moderately popular and respected, although not excessively so, as the situation would create new rivalries for them.

7. Constant defensive attitude

Another characteristic of envious people is that they do not just attack others, but also expect others to do the same with them. That is why they can easily interpret everything as an attack or a personal offense .

In other words, any attempt to do something that draws positive attention is interpreted as a threat to one’s power in a particular social circle. The same is true when, without seeking it, someone exhibits a quality that unintentionally produces admiration in others.

8. Congratulations

When, out of courtesy, they have to congratulate someone for having achieved something worthwhile, they do so in a mechanical way, and a certain overreaction is noticed . In these cases they don’t have to try to belittle the other person, they just “pass the buck” waiting for another good time to attack.

9. Taking advantage of the umbrella of fame

In some cases, someone in the envious environment gets a certain reputation and becomes a public figure. In these cases, those who feel envious and manage it badly can take advantage of the fact that they knew that celebrity in the past to spread rumours about her and achieve a double effect: damage her image and receive attention for having information about that popular person.