Human beings are constantly growing and developing, and these changes occur not only on a biological level, but also on a psychological and social level. As we grow, our environment demands that we behave in a certain way .

Over the years, our physical appearance changes, and so does our mind. We become increasingly independent and responsible as we enter adulthood. Although we generally mature as we get older, some adults remain anchored in the desire to behave like children or teenagers without being able to take responsibility for their actions and adult life. This is a kind of fear of growing up .

Fear of growing up: what is it?

Psychologists have always been interested in the growth and development of people. One of the best known theories in developmental psychology is that of Erik Erikson, called “Psychosocial Developmental Theory”. This author postulates that people go through a series of stages throughout their lives, and in these we have to overcome a series of conflicts that, if successfully overcome, cause us to acquire different life skills.

To grow is to evolve, to develop , to progress and to overcome the different stages, that is, not to get stuck in any of them. Growing brings with it new knowledge and learning, although it is also necessary to let go of old habits or behaviour as we grow older.

Sometimes people do not follow a normal progression and are afraid of getting older . The fear of growing up can manifest itself in two ways: with the Peter Pan syndrome, more related to the psychosocial aspects; or with gerontophbia, which is the fear of growing up, more related to the physical aspects (body image, loss of mobility, etc.).

What Peter Pan Syndrome is all about

Peter Pan syndrome refers to those adults who continue to behave like children or adolescents without being able to take responsibility for their actions and adult life. It is often associated with the fear of facing difficulties alone, of not leaving the comfort zone and waiting for others to solve their problems. Those who present it are very dependent and well-off individuals.

Individuals with this fear of growing up have serious difficulties in assuming the roles of adulthood , such as that of parent or professional, and are reluctant to become independent. They maintain superficial sentimental relationships and do not achieve vital stability.

What are your symptoms

Peter Pan syndrome has different consequences for the person who suffers it. Generally, these individuals appear to be happy and live life to the fullest; however, they may present high levels of anxiety and sadness. They may also feel unfulfilled with their lives, which affects their self-esteem.

There are different symptoms that warn of the presence of this syndrome linked to the fear of growing. They are the following:

  • They are dependent people with a constant need for attention.
  • They feel great insecurity, lack of confidence and low self-esteem.
  • Commitment is not part of their life, as they see it as an obstacle to their freedom.
  • They’re usually self-centered people.
  • They are usually spoiled and expect to receive rather than give.
  • They have a low frustration tolerance.
  • They often behave like children or teenagers even after they are in their thirties.
  • They feel a great dissatisfaction.
  • They’re afraid of loneliness.
  • They do not take responsibility for their actions and have little capacity for self-criticism.

Causes of Peter Pan syndrome

The causes of Peter Pan syndrome can be varied. The dependent or avoidant personality can lead to the development of this condition. The person’s coping style, too. In addition, the educational style that the person has received from his/her family and the excessive protection during his/her development may cause the individual not to be emotionally strong and, therefore, more likely to develop this syndrome.

Economic difficulties and the inability to find employment, as well as irrational beliefs and lack of social skills may be behind this phenomenon.

Fear of growing up in children

While it is clear that some adults may be very afraid of growing up, for children this is unlikely to happen. In large part, this is because their degree of reflection is lower and at the social level they do not feel as much pressure .

However, in some cases it can happen that children associate adulthood with something negative , which produces anxiety and terror and causes them to develop a phobia.

The magazine LiveScience echoed the news of a 14-year-old Mexican boy who was so afraid of growing up that he took extreme measures for his growth, such as restricting his food intake and distorting his voice to speak with a higher pitch. The child began to suffer from the phobia at age 11, and a few years later was diagnosed with gerontophbia.

What is gerontophobia?

Gerontophobia is an anxiety disorder characterized by an irrational fear of aging. That is, that years go by and the person suffers a change in appearance, has to depend on others, loses mobility, is taken to a nursing home or his health worsens. Phobias cause extreme anxiety in the person who suffers them, so they tend to avoid the feared stimulus, whether it is an object or a situation.

Gerontophobia usually manifests itself in the late 30s, when wrinkles start to appear . Much of the blame for the development of this disorder lies with the media’s bombardment of information about the perfect body image. However, traumatic events are associated with the development of many phobias, and gerontophbia is no exception. The inability to accept that people age is also one of the reasons why this disorder can manifest itself.