Having a serene and happy couple’s relationship: how to achieve it?

Having a serene and happy couple's relationship: how to achieve it?

Today I would like to talk to you about an issue that is of great concern to my patients, and which is one of the most important issues for human beings when it comes to being happy.

A priori we can think that as rational beings we give a lot of importance to the decisions we make from a purely rational point of view. However, we are much more emotional than we think , and we are moved by feelings, emotions, and sometimes by impulses, in most cases.

That is why sometimes it is important to sit down for a moment, reflect and analyze aspects of our lives that we may want to change or improve. In this case I am referring to relationships, and the perfect formula for maintaining a serene, healthy and happy relationship over time. It might seem almost like a fairy tale, and sometimes this same excessive idealization is what prevents us from really enjoying a relationship and having expectations that are often unattainable.

How to have a serene and happy relationship

According to my experience and my point of view, a large part of couple conflicts arise from not knowing how to manage personality differences, differences in values or in lifestyles . In addition, over the years, routine, passivity, lack of common projects, etc. can be brought together.
If there comes a time when we start to ask ourselves “do I love the other person or not”, “am I happy or not”, or “do I feel comfortable or not”, and we start to answer everything that we don’t, it means that we have a problem, and we have to face it.

Problems usually don’t go away by themselves , so we’ll have to work on them. I would like to give some guidelines in case you find yourself at this point. Just as in the case of patients who come to my practice with relationship problems, after studying each case carefully, I like to give a series of personalised indications, as homework, and try to put them into practice little by little.

These keys are based primarily on improved attitude, empathy, proactivism, and positive vision .

1. Communication and understanding are the first step

Above all, we must both sit down, with time, in a relaxed atmosphere and in which we know that we will not be disturbed, with the phones turned off, and explain to the other person all our concerns: what is happening to us, what we think, what we need, how we think we can solve it, etc. In other words, give a first brushstroke of what is happening, and listen to the other person to know what they think and the needs they also have.

Once the subject is dealt with, a door is opened through which we both have to walk in search of a path that we both like . Even if the other person thinks there is no problem, he or she always has to think that in terms of the couple, we have to face the problem together, and try to understand the other person in order to move forward. Assume the situation and decide whether to try to solve it or not.

2. Respect and trust

Respect and trust in the other person are fundamental, they are the pillars of all personal relationships, and in the case of couples, even more so . The other person has to be a pillar on which you can lean when you need to, and vice versa.

There has to be enough trust so that everyone can go about their lives without jealousy, without control, without mistrust. If this is being lost it is important to regain it; we have to communicate more, express our concerns, our fears and have the other person do it too to dispel doubts and misunderstandings.

3. Complicity

Today I would like to talk to you about an issue that is of great concern to my patients, and which is one of the most important issues for human beings when it comes to being happy.

A priori we can think that as rational beings we give a lot of importance to the decisions we make from a purely rational point of view. However, we are much more emotional than we think , and we are moved by feelings, emotions, and sometimes by impulses, in most cases.

That is why sometimes it is important to sit down for a moment, reflect and analyze aspects of our lives that we may want to change or improve.
In this case I am referring to relationships, and the perfect formula for maintaining a serene, healthy and happy relationship over time.
It might seem almost like a fairy tale, and sometimes this same excessive idealization is what prevents us from really enjoying a relationship and having expectations that are often unattainable.

How to have a serene and happy relationship

According to my experience and my point of view, a large part of couple conflicts arise from not knowing how to manage personality differences, differences in values or in lifestyles . In addition, over the years, routine, passivity, lack of common projects, etc. can be brought together. If there comes a time when we start to ask ourselves “do I love the other person or not”, “am I happy or not”, or “do I feel comfortable or not”, and we start to answer everything that we don’t, it means that we have a problem, and we have to face it.

Problems usually don’t go away by themselves , so we’ll have to work on them.
I would like to give some guidelines in case you find yourself at this point.
Just as in the case of patients who come to my practice with relationship problems, after studying each case carefully, I like to give a series of personalised indications, as homework, and try to put them into practice little by little.

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