No matter how hard we try, things don’t always turn out the way we want them to. Being aware of this is the first step to not getting stuck in repetition and exhaustion.

This is precisely the message sent by the animated short called “Hooked”. Thanks to the Institute Mensalus Institute for Psychological and Psychiatric Assistance , we present to you an interesting reflection on the failed attempts.

Are the efforts in vain? A short film explains it

Before you start, you can watch the video below:

What message can we extract after seeing the attempts of the protagonist?

Sometimes our efforts have the opposite effect; the short film reflects this from a sense of humour. In any case, from every experience comes a learning curve.

In relation to this, today we focus special attention on one of the conclusions of the story: the result of the solutions attempted is the one that will guide us to the next action: change or follow (what will the fish do after having multiplied the number of hooks?).

In order to carry out a good analysis, it is useful to evaluate the initial objective (to swim calmly in the sea) and to quantify the level of satisfaction obtained (0% satisfaction: there are now 20 more hooks), to decide whether we want to persist in the same solution (I keep looking for ways to cheat the hook) or to change the strategy.

Well. Strangely enough, we sometimes miss this analysis, get stuck in the first attempt at a solution and stop considering the rest of the options.

Why does this happen?

Flexibility and mental creativity are two elements that make it easier to see ourselves in new scenarios and to look for ways to feel satisfied in them. When these capacities do not participate, a stagnation occurs: the solutions attempted proliferate in spite of not obtaining successful results.

As we mentioned before, in this case it would be great if the fish would stop coming close to the hooks and choose to go deep into the sea bed in search for the desired quietness. Who knows. Maybe, after the ring strategy, it would.

Even if we still see the new options, we may not be heading towards action, why?

Good. We may seem to see other options, but in reality we have not developed a thorough understanding of them. To what extent have we thought about what their mechanism/benefit is? To give a new option a chance, full, conscious observation is necessary. Only in this way will we find usefulness and meaning.

What else influences the ability to devise new solution paths?

People get stuck in repeating a single solution also because of a lack of permissiveness (“I have to solve it this way”) and for fear of what might happen and/or how we might feel if we go outside the “known zone”.

Seeing ourselves in new roles and contexts can be associated with beliefs that raise unnecessary alarms. Those irrational thoughts that are related to the loss of privileges (“until now I have and then maybe not”) and the fracture of our identity (“I am like this, can/will I be otherwise?”), feed immobility.

What can we do to be more permissive with ourselves?

To begin with, empathize with our person while connecting with our rights. What we would say to a good friend is a good preamble.

Phrases like: “slow down and rest”, “take your time to think”, “if you don’t get there, you don’t get there”, “you’ve done enough today. Leave it here and get your energy back for tomorrow”, “why should it go wrong”, “you can do it”, etc., are examples of messages that we easily communicate to those we love… Do we do the same with us?

Being our own friendly voice is the first step in exploring and not getting stuck in repetition and exhaustion.

It is very funny when the protagonist wants to trick the hook with a ring and generates an explosive effect. What other message can we extract from this anecdote?

What is of no value to the fish is a treasure for the fishermen.

In real life it’s a little bit the same. Each of us gives value to what is in line with our beliefs and needs (that’s when we find meaning).

Following the line of thought, we propose four questions to connect with our system of values:

  • “What do I consider “a treasure” in my life?”
  • “What level of comfort/satisfaction do I get when I connect with him?”
  • “What do I do to take care of him?”
  • “How do I want to keep looking after him?”

This is a good exercise to promote thoughts that connect with the elements that give meaning to our lives.

Perhaps, when we seek personal well-being and balance, remembering what makes us happy will lead us back to the steps we decide to take. Just without getting… hooked.