Often, in the meetings of tupper sex that I do with PleasureWithSense I meet people who ask me “how can I get more excited”, “how can I get more sexual desire”. Or: “Lately I don’t get so excited but I feel like feeling more, how can I do that?

All these people add that their partner is the same as always, that they love her very much and have always liked her . How come now it seems not to be enough?

Fighting Routine

Over time, as routine takes over relationships with your partner, it is normal to get used to what you have and forget about seeking passion , playing and experimenting to awaken desire. However, this does not mean that this should be the case. Eroticizing our mind so that passion doesn’t die will allow us to live our sexuality with greater intensity, and that’s why it’s very useful to generate and create erotic fantasies that enhance sexual desire . The key question is: how to achieve it?

It is a really frequent consultation and, surprisingly, it is made by both men and women. Many other people don’t even admit that they would like to have sexual fantasies. However, this may be due to a lack of knowledge about this concept.

The sexual fantasies are not unfulfilled desires nor should they be understood as sexual failures , because they are not behaviours or ideas that we should carry out. They are simply a set of thoughts, interwoven images and desires that, however irrational and surreal they may seem, we want to use to fantasize about and get excited about while daydreaming.

How to use fantasies to feed sexual desire?

To build erotic fantasies we can help ourselves with audiovisual material, erotic and/or pornographic videos, but it is also possible to use stories . Far from wanting to fall into the world of conventional pornography, where sex is constructed by and for men (incredible bodies, hypermuscular, smeared in oil and performing hard and eternal sexual behaviors…) here you can find some examples of a more realistic, beautiful and full of those flashes of passion that we look for in our fantasies.

1. X-art : erotic films that are works of art

X-art is a French production company where each frame is a tapestry of romanticism, simple and beautiful . The image is tenuous and the encounters between the bodies become eternal. It fulfils our expectation of prolonging the moment of passion with kisses and tenderness, which has repercussions on the potential of these films as a source of sexual desire.

2. Erika Lust : normal guys who also know how to seduce

Erika Lust is the pioneer of eroticism for women, attending to the needs that are so often claimed in bed and that are finally expressed in porn. On her official facebook page she presents those gods and goddesses of pleasure, they are boys and girls that we could find on the street and could be our lovers . Beautiful, stylish, and above all willing to activate your most hidden fantasies.

3. Erotic stories, a new way to enjoy sex

With the use of words we can imagine much more than we think and we can visualize every scene and every dialogue as if we were the protagonists of the story. That’s why, if you like reading more, you can always use the narrative material that you can find in erotic stories of all kinds. Many of these texts will make night-time reading lovers hooked on their pages.

Resources to improve your sex life

Another option we have to feel more appetizing and fuel our sexual desire is to like ourselves and feel wanted . So I encourage you to think about how you could change something about your appearance, clothes, lingerie, makeup, hair, accessories… whatever it takes to feel sexier. Do you dare to choose a change and make it? What reaction are you going to generate in the other? Looking at each other with different eyes helps to raise our self-esteem and to eroticize sexual encounters in order to increase our libido. But, besides, if we feel good the others will also see us more attractive.

There is no better way to feel desired than to look at your partner and see how he looks at you!

I hope these ideas have helped to awaken the desire.