The expression “being immature” is a very common label used to describe those people who in one of their vital areas do not develop in a coherent, competent or stable way. Although this type of personal functioning is maladaptive, it does not exist as a specific category in the current classification system of mental disorders, the DSM-V. However, this behavioral and attitudinal style may be presented in an underlying way as a common element in various personality disorders.

However, in the same way that we can talk, using everyday language, about immature people, it is also possible to talk about psychologically mature people . Let’s see what characterizes them.

Mature Personality Style

For psychiatrist and expert Enrique Rojas (2001) there are three areas to which the so-called state of personal maturity can be circumscribed: the emotional, the intellectual and the professional. In the author’s terms, maturity is a state of knowledge and good judgment, prudence and knowledge , which has been reached and which leads to the positive management of one’s own psychology. In this way, a person who is in this state has an adequate level of capacity to lead his life competently and effectively on an emotional level.

A key aspect is to understand this construct as a dynamic process, a phenomenon that does not present a specific purpose or destiny, but is constantly and permanently modulated throughout the life cycle. Therefore, the idea that there is a perfect and ideal degree of personal maturity to be reached and maintained in a static way must be banished.

Neuroanatomical keys to psychological maturity

When reference is made to the neuroanatomical development of the different structures and connections that form the human brain , a great deal of research has shown how the frontal lobe areas play a central role in behaviour linked to decision making, the ability to plan future events, flexibility when carrying out complex reasoning in problem solving and improvising and adopting adaptive or flexible behaviour, etc.

These competencies seem to be closely linked to the definition above of what a mature personal style implies; they are the skills that give humans such a category and differentiate them from other less intellectually developed animal species.

Scientific studies have determined that these frontal areas do not reach their complete development until well into the third decade of life , approximately at the age of 25. Furthermore, the studies that have based the knowledge that we have today about the concept of emotional intelligence, which is also closely linked to the question of personal maturity, affirm how decisive the neuronal circuitry established between the frontal lobe and the structures of the limbic system, whose function is the regulation of emotional states, is.

Broadly speaking, it can be said that the latter is in charge of controlling the most instinctive physiological responses to stress, anger or fear and intervenes in the motivational processes and in the learning of more complex behaviours and elaborated based on past experiences. In contrast, the orbitofrontal zone modulates feelings analytically and gives orders on how to proceed behaviorally when information is received from the limbic system as the individual is experiencing a certain emotional state. Failures in the connections between the two areas result in unthinking, unconscionable, and socially maladaptive responses.

A classic example that explains this phenomenon can be found in the literature that founded the development of neuroscience as such: the case of Phineas Gage (1948), a foreman who worked in railway construction and who suffered serious personality changes after an impressive accident in which a metal rod pierced his brain completely in the front.

Main characteristics of psychologically mature people

What has been said so far seems to indicate a great relationship between the constructs of personal maturity, competence in emotional regulation and the affective world in general. In this sense, individuals who enjoy a good level of maturity in the field of feelings skillfully develop the following competencies (Rojas, 2001):

1. Know the nature of the emotional world

That is, that psychologically mature people are capable of observing themselves and associating situations or events with emotional experiences .

2. Establishing a solid foundation in the area of relationships

This quality refers to the fact of having experienced the feeling of love in its depth and to knowing the implications and necessary commitments for the maintenance of such a love relationship.

3. Having a realistic view of the couple

Avoiding idealizations and biased perceptions of the other is essential. Having too high expectations of the relationship and the other partner makes it difficult to positively resolve any adversities or misunderstandings that may arise between the two.

4. Consider the other person and the relationship as one more parcel of life

Emotional independence with respect to others is very closely linked to a good level of self-esteem and self-confidence, a fundamental fact in the establishment of healthy interpersonal relationships .

5. Understand the dynamic nature of emotions and feelings

This implies considering that these phenomena are mutable and modifiable in time and that, it is necessary to carry out daily actions and behaviors that feed them in a constant positive way.

6. To be able to give and receive love in a healthy way

This point implies having the capacity to communicate affection with verbalizations and actions, as well as being aware that this fact is part of human nature. In fact, a mature person understands that he or she is intrinsically worthy of affection from the other person and, therefore, that he or she wishes to correspond to the other person in the same way.

7. Be prepared to build a joint project with another person

Mainly, this aspect implies sharing areas of one’s life with another individual in a satisfactory way and also having the competence and commitment to wish to solve possible conflicts that may arise in its course.

8. Have sufficient qualities of intelligence, will and commitment

These three qualities imply the ability to find a balance between achieving one’s own life goals and those common to the couple. The latter must be shared by both members voluntarily, so that effective communication between the two parties becomes a fundamental and necessary aspect.

9. Maintaining the feeling of long-term love

It is important to become aware that it is positive not to fall into a succession of superficial phases of infatuation. This point is very closely linked to the previous one in terms of the level of commitment necessary for this sentimental project to have satisfactory continuity.

10. Self-regulation

Finally, it is important to internalize that one can learn to regulate one’s emotions and feelings internally . Closely related to the first point, a mature individual is capable of not letting himself be carried away by his emotions and is competent in identifying, communicating and rationally analysing them in order to achieve a more adaptive final behaviour.

By way of conclusion

It has been possible to observe throughout the text that, in general terms, a psychologically mature person possesses the qualities of emotional intelligence; a sense of commitment, responsibility and effort; a rational and regulated style of functioning (intra and interpersonal) where the world of emotions is balanced with respect to the world of the cognitive ; and, finally, a sufficient degree of ethical and moral behaviour.

In addition, other relevant ingredients are aspects such as having a good level of competence in one’s own knowledge, where strengths and weaknesses are assumed; an adequate capacity to analyse, reflect and make decisions in a coherent manner and based on solid arguments; and a positive development of self-image in which emotional independence from others is the main component.

Bibliographic references:

  • Pereda, I. (2018) The map of the brain. Bonalletra Alcompas, S.L.: Spain.
  • Rojas, E. (2001) Who are you? De la personalidad a la autoestima (4a ed.) Temas de Hoy: Madrid.