How to overcome a break-up? This is a question that worries many people who suffer from past love crises.

Let’s see what we can do to recover from this emotional blow.

The end of love relationships is frequent

Nowadays it is rare to know someone and to keep them in a relationship forever; the most common thing is to have several partners throughout one’s life .

On the other hand, we can be very upset by the negative emotional experience of breaking up with the previous person with whom we had a relationship. And sometimes that prevents us from even enjoying new relationships after the breakup.

Therefore, a significant number of people have suffered a breakup, and the suffering and pain that this has generated, they fear the possibility of starting a new relationship.

The complicated period of time involved in dealing with grief over a break-up means that in some cases people have insurmountable difficulties in overcoming the feeling of loss and thus being able to start another relationship.

How to overcome a break-up

Not being able to overcome the loss after a sentimental failure, the hatred felt, as well as the fears that are generated that they could happen to us again, can end up blocking us. This is what happens when we believe that the best way to avoid having a bad time and suffering is not to have a relationship again .

The consequence of a break-up is that loneliness and pain can significantly affect our intellectual functioning, even temporarily impairing our cognitive ability. In such a situation we will not be able to regulate our emotions well or think clearly.

1. Not to confuse distractions with psychological recovery

Often, after a break-up, people may enter into casual relationships that are short-lived and go nowhere , as the grief from the previous break-up has not yet been properly digested and it is still too early for the love to find a new place in him or her.

Therefore, these continuous small disappointments or failures can make you live with discomfort, even thinking that you will never again have a relationship as you had with your ex. To arrive at this approach is a mistake.

2. Emotional pain needs to be managed

There is a saying that feeds a false myth that is ineffective: “a nail is taken out with another nail”. Normally in relationships, intense positive emotions are experienced, and therefore the pain we feel after the loss in the mourning process is necessary.

As much as we want to avoid the discomfort that the breakup entails , if we do not live through this pain and suffer it, it will be difficult to have a new healthy relationship.

The person must be patient and allow himself to adapt to his new life . The main thing is to find well-being by overcoming the suffering and pain caused in the previous relationship.

You have to live these emotions of pain and suffering and not try to block them by having other relationships; this will certainly not be the best way to overcome grief.

3. Understanding what happened

The data from the studies indicate that people who have suffered a sentimental failure, in order to overcome the break-up, must understand the reasons why the relationship broke up.

4. Don’t give in to the temptation to try and get it back

Research has shown that emotional breakdown activates the same mechanisms in the brain as those of a drug addict who is in withdrawal from the toxins to which he is addicted. Thus, we could say that when a couple breaks up, the person goes through a period of abstinence.

When we get to have a broken heart, we can’t ignore it. What is healthy is to recognize and avoid the need we feel to contact or spy on social networks , with this we would be feeding the addiction, further enhancing the pain and delaying our recovery.

5. Do not idealize the past

A love breakup will lead to thoughts of idealization of the broken relationship. We must compensate for this by remembering his bad gesture and not just his smile , the fact that he gave us a hard time , the fact that you argued frequently and heatedly and went for days without speaking to each other, etc.

Therefore, in order to overcome a break-up, I advise my patients to make a detailed list of all the times the ex behaved badly with himself , of all his negative characteristics, of all his hobbies, and to have this list at hand (for example, on their mobile phone).

Our brains will tell us that he or the ex was perfect or perfect. But it’s not, and neither was the relationship. And if you want to get over it, you have to remember that often.

Coping with a breakup is not easy

Overcoming the breakup is a struggle, and the reasons why it broke up are your best weapons. There is nothing that can suppress the pain you feel . So, don’t look for more explanations, accept the ones you already have and stop wondering more, because you need the wound to close to overcome the addiction.

You also need something else: you must be willing to let go, to accept that it is over . If not, you will be feeding your mind with false hopes and it will be a step backwards in your grief. Keep in mind that hope can be absolutely destructive when we go through a break-up.