Depression is the most frequent psychological disorder in our society . Statistics indicate that around 10% of the general population is or will become clinically depressed throughout their lives.

However, in spite of being such a common problem, the person usually has a hard time detecting this symptomatology and therefore may take a long time to seek help. This is because depression is a disorder that begins very slowly, and who suffers, at first tends to underestimate this symptomatology to believe that it is a “bad streak” and can get out of the situation on their own.

But depression is much more than that; it’s actually an emotional disorder that involves major changes in the way we feel, think and act , and contrary to what many people think, it has nothing to do with being more or less emotionally strong.

How does depression arise?

When someone is depressed, his way of thinking starts to change, he starts to think badly about himself and to blame himself for everything that happens around him .

Self-esteem is significantly affected, and that is why those who experience depression believe that others have no appreciation for them, that the world is a hostile place and the future is uncertain and hopeless.

Symptoms

The main symptoms in a person suffering from depression are these:

  • Low mood, intense sadness , feelings of hopelessness.
  • Loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy or have little pleasure in doing most days
  • Lack of energy or intense tiredness.
  • A desire to cry for no apparent reason .
  • Sleep problems (insomnia or excessive sleep)
  • Difficulty concentrating or memory problems
  • Irritability (in adolescents, this symptom is much more frequent than sadness.
  • Significant changes in appetite, which may lead to weight gain or loss.
  • Loss of sexual interest.
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
  • Negative thoughts , excessive criticism of oneself.
  • Recurring thoughts of death.

In addition, depression is a devastating problem for the partner or family members, because usually people in the immediate environment do not know how to help , which often leads to great frustration, guilt and angry feelings. This in turn makes the problem even worse, reinforcing the idea that others reject him and that he is to blame for the suffering of his loved ones.

How do you help a depressed family member?

Let’s look at some tips on how to provide support in these cases.

1. Don’t blame yourself

The first thing is to understand that family support is very important to overcome depression but that it is the person himself who has to take responsibility for getting out of this situation. That is to say, you are not to blame for your partner or family member not getting ahead, you are a help, but ultimately, the job of getting out of the pit is only yours.

2. Don’t take it personally

Although it is complicated, try not to take their pessimism, irritability, apathy and sadness personally, as they are not under their voluntary control.

3. Reward improvements

Every time you smile, take the initiative to do something , be more affectionate, participate in conversations, feel like going out, etc. Express your pleasure in a verbal and non-verbal way.

4. Don’t talk about problems all the time

The depressed person tends to be very worried about all the problems around him. Although at first we think it is good for them to let off steam, the truth is that having problems as the only object of conversation makes the person more and more obsessed and focused only on the negative side of their life.

If she brings up these kinds of conversations, listen to her without judgment or reproach, and change the conversation to another topic that you know she likes.

5. Do not overprotect

Let him know that you are there no matter what, but without asking too many questions or constantly checking his behaviour . Also try not to give too much importance to behaviour related to irritability or sadness.

6. Don’t assume their responsibilities

Do not perform tasks that are his or her responsibility, as this may inadvertently benefit the person in this situation.

7. The importance of leisure activities

As we have seen, the depressed person loses interest in the activities he used to enjoy, even the ability to enjoy them. A good help is to encourage him/her to recover little by little those leisure activities , starting with those that are less difficult to do and those that in the past were more rewarding.

8. Ask for professional help

It is important that this person puts himself in the hands of a professional as soon as possible , so that he can start working on all those issues that are reinforcing the depressive disorder.

Once the treatment begins, the psychologist will start to propose weekly goals that you as a family member can help him/her to achieve in order to improve his/her mood little by little.

However, you should assume that recovery is a long road where there are often ups and downs and that it is important to encourage the person not to give up and to finish the treatment.

At our psychology centre in Seville we have extensive experience in treating people with this type of problem. Contact us without obligation and we will guide you to find the best way to help your partner or family member.