Normally, when defining self-esteem, it is said that this is the feeling that appears when we accept ourselves, associated with the set of beliefs in what we are capable of doing. In other words, it is our way of valuing ourselves based on the experience we have gained by facing challenges and analyzing the results of these missions and projects.
Therefore, self-esteem is fundamental when it comes to promoting our personal development and creating the conditions that make it possible for us to reach the objectives we set ourselves.
Nurturing our self-esteem is empowering the belief that as human beings we are autonomous and can live with dignity and the possibility of being happy, which leads us to be more self-confident and enjoy stronger confidence in our abilities. We thus expand the radius of our strategies and actions aimed at being happy.
Therefore, it is not unusual for one of the goals of coaching to focus on self-esteem . Let’s see how this is done and how it is possible to detect problems in this facet of the psyche.
Bringing self-esteem from coaching
In order to know how to intervene on self-esteem through coaching, one must first understand how low or high self-esteem is expressed. All of this should be seen by analysing the behaviour of people in different aspects of life .
Signs of high self-esteem
But… what can be done to find out where our self-esteem lies? Let’s look at several of the characteristics that define those who have an adequate level of self-esteem.
1. Set career goals and achieve them
There are always bad moments and bad luck, but generally, people with good self-esteem are better able to set goals and act accordingly to achieve them, because they do not spoil their potential .
2. Self-confidence is expressed
Those who enjoy good self-esteem show themselves in a way that is in keeping with their real capabilities, without having to appear to be what they are not, since they do not have strong insecurities to compensate for .
3. Develops balanced emotional attachments
When you have a realistic and feel-good self-concept, interpersonal conflicts are less likely to arise. This is why it is possible to maintain better quality friendships and love relationships.
4. Accepts her emotions
As there is nothing to hide or be ashamed of, it doesn’t make much sense to feel very bad about having felt something that doesn’t fit with certain values or principles . In any case, the causes of this state of consciousness are analysed.
Indicators of low self-esteem
If instead of focusing on what indicates the presence of good self-esteem we look at the signs that this part of our being needs to be improved, we will find the following indicators of low self-esteem.
1. Pessimistic Bias
Those with poor self-esteem predict failure and discouraging results for any project or plan they undertake, since they are not very confident about their chances of success .
2. Project their feelings of guilt
It is very frequent that in this psychological state one tends to unload frustration on others, blaming others for one’s own mistakes, since one learns this dynamic as a systematic way of not constantly directing attention to oneself when something goes wrong.
3. They try to compete always
Paradoxical as it may seem, people with low self-esteem try to compensate for their feeling of discomfort by turning various areas of their life into a competition , so that they have the opportunity to feel like winners from time to time.
4. They hide many of their feelings
Another of the characteristics of those who go through this phase of their lives is that they tend to hide much of what they feel, since they fear the rejection that this could generate in others.
Another ironic aspect of low self-esteem is that it is often expressed through a tendency to self-centredness. This is a way of hiding their insecurities through a facade of arrogance and apparent legitimacy to make important decisions, so that all their value to others rests only on the image they offer (or try to offer).
How do you work this from coaching?
With what we have seen so far, we already know the two poles that make up people’s level of self-esteem. But… what is being done from coaching to help people improve in this aspect?
1. Accepting reality
This task is fundamental to start from a realistic analysis of who you are and what you can become , without denying reality.
2. Taking responsibility
This step is essential. Without accepting responsibility, one cannot become autonomous and always depends on others.
3. Validate your own feelings
To be aware that what one feels is real and valid helps to trust one’s own criteria .
4. Finding Purpose
Knowing how to locate goals to aspire to gives an important impulse to our lives, and activates us.
5. Practicing personal integrity
This allows us to generate a coherent self-concept that encourages us to trust ourselves and approve of who we are and what we do .
6. Encouraging self-acceptance
This is based on valuing ourselves without judging who we are from an unattainable moral position and learning to forgive us for our mistakes without the appearance of a malaise that we can’t afford.
How to start?
When it comes to learning the theoretical and practical foundations for improving self-esteem through coaching, there are several courses and workshops that allow you to do this with expert supervision.
The Executive Coaching Certification Programme of the Escuela Europea de Coaching is a very good example of this, given that both its blended and face-to-face versions touch on the most complicated aspects of the process applied to personal life and to the field of leadership and business , in addition to many other subjects such as the regulation of emotions or social and communication skills.
In addition, at the end of this programme the EEC Executive Coach Diploma is obtained with the ACTP accreditation from the International Coach Federation . To find out more about this learning and professional development option, click here.