Relationships are not always easy . Each member of the relationship has his/her own way of understanding life and his/her own needs.
On many occasions, despite the existence of a great attraction, relationships are broken and separation takes place. Sometimes it is the lack of communication, other times it is infidelity and other times it is the personality of each one that precipitates this situation of rupture.
However, the absence of conflict in the couple is a utopia, as problems can arise at any time in the relationship. This does not mean that our partner does not love us. In fact, the conflicts that may arise, if faced in a mature way, can make the relationship stronger. Understanding this is key for a healthy relationship .
Living with the person we love on a daily basis and not properly resolving conflicts can trigger the erosion of the relationship. Over time, the monotony can also eat away at a couple’s health.
Divorces are frequent nowadays, because together with these causes there are others, such as unrealistic expectations about how the couple’s relationship should be or the commodification of relationships. This way of thinking can make us believe that everything must be perfect when we are in a dating relationship or in a marriage, something that seriously damages the way we interact with our partner.
For example, according to the conclusions of a study carried out by “Business insider”, Spain is one of the first countries in the world with more divorces, with 61% of breakups. This study used data from different countries from 2001 to 2013. The results show the difficulty of maintaining health in a relationship.
How to be happy as a couple
Despite this, being happy as a couple is possible, but there are a number of conditions that must be met for members to enjoy a healthy relationship. It is important to be clear from the beginning that being happy all the time is not possible , the important thing is to work so that the couple can function most of the time. As said before, it is not the conflicts themselves that break up a relationship, but how we deal with them.
Below you can find ten keys to being happy as a couple .
1. Don’t forget to take care of the relationship
At the beginning of the relationship it is easy to show yourself as a detail person, say compliments, do activities with the partner, etc. But as the relationship becomes stronger and the years go by, the frequency with which these gestures appear usually decreases.
In extreme cases they even disappear. Don’t forget that your partner has needs and wants to feel loved . If you want the relationship to work, it is important to continue to show him/her your love and to appreciate that he/she is by your side and that you are the one chosen to be part of his/her life.
Have a realistic view of relationships
Many people have developed an idyllic and utopian vision of what a relationship is, and sometimes are unaware of how this affects their own relationship. Thinking that love is a paradise and that the relationship should be perfect 24 hours a day and 365 days a year is not a realistic option.
Relationships go through ups and downs and being aware of this is key to being able to provide solutions and come out of these potholes. Unrealistic expectations generate tension and make it difficult for the members of a relationship to be happy as a couple.
3. Spend time with your partner
If in this busy society, in which we can end up stressed out just because we have a lot of work, it is already difficult to find ourselves and have a single moment of relaxation, it can be even more difficult to have time to be with our partner alone.
If it is not work, it is family occupations (such as having to look after children). To be happy as a couple, it is necessary to organize the time to have some time alone: no pets, no children, no interruptions. Spending time with your partner is healthy for the relationship.
4. Spend time with yourself
But if spending time with your partner is important, so is spending time with yourself, doing the activities you like and meeting your own needs. There is nothing wrong with having separate motivations from your partner. This is also healthy for a good relationship.
5. Be honest
Sometimes it’s hard to be honest about some things for fear that your partner won’t share them. The truth is that people value honesty , and being seen as a sincere person is much better than being labeled a liar. Lying causes trust to be lost, and then it is very difficult to regain it.
Communication is essential for the couple to be happy, since dialogue helps to create a common life project, makes it possible for difficult situations to be solved and discussions to be constructive, and allows the members of the couple to express their needs . For a relationship to work, it is necessary to negotiate, give in and reach agreements.
7. Respect the other partner
It is impossible for a couple to function healthily without respect and trust. Love is respecting and trusting the other person. So respect their opinion and their needs, because relationships based on jealousy and disrespect are bound to fail.
8. Love from freedom
And of course, treating the other person with respect means loving them from a position of freedom and tolerance. It is not a question of imposing, but of dialogue and reaching agreements. Everyone wants to be treated with respect and freedom , and although there are people who put up with practically everything in a couple’s relationship because they are too dependent, when one of the two exercises power over the other, the relationship becomes toxic.
9. Keep your balance
There may be things about your partner that you don’t like at all, and there will probably be things about you that the other party won’t like. Nobody’s perfect. Doesn’t he hug you the same way anymore? How about you talk about it and, besides, you do your part to make these hugs happen . Sometimes we waste a lot of time thinking about what we want instead of thinking about giving.
If you ask for something, you must also offer it. In relationships there must be balance, sometimes you will give and sometimes the other person.
10. Make your partner your best friend
Lasting relationships are those based on free love and trust. Obviously attraction is important , but in successful relationships there is something else: there is a love that goes beyond physical attraction.Make your partner a great friend, with whom you can share hobbies.