The family environment is fundamentally based on the way family members relate to each other. That is why communicating well or poorly within this group can make the difference between creating strong and functional bonds of affection, or constantly experiencing disputes, fights and loneliness.

In this article we will look at several guidelines on how to better communicate with our family . Keep in mind, however, that you’re going to have to implement these steps in your day-to-day life; doing them just a few times won’t do.

Communicating Well with Family

As much as family members spend time together, that does not mean they manage communication between them properly. In fact, in some cases communication problems become entrenched and the passage of time only aggravates them due to the inertia they bring.

In the event that too much time is no longer spent with the family, it is quite possible that the main problem of communication with the family has to do with isolation, i.e. the fact that one practically never interacts with these people, or does so very little and through digital media.

Whether you live in the same home as the rest of your family or not, the passage of time does not have to fix anything. This is why it is important to take control of the situation and to take care of the way we communicate with our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, siblings… Creating a point and a separate one and promoting a change for the better can make both living together and the expression of affection benefit from it almost instantly.

Follow these tips to qualitatively change the way relationships between family members are developed.

1. Take nothing for granted

The fact that we have spent a lot of time together with our families can create the illusion that we know what each member thinks. That is why sometimes the communication block between two people of the same blood is due to a misunderstanding.

The idea that we know someone so well that we don’t even have to look into how they feel can do a lot of damage in close relationships . Humans are complex beings, and so our behavior is not always predictable.

2. Break the routine with a conciliatory gesture

A small symbolic detail can make the brother, uncle or grandfather with whom we want to improve communication realize that something has changed and stop assuming that the interaction with us will be governed by the same rules as always.

For example, patting on the back or offering something to drink, depending on how the relationship has been before, can be something new, no matter how insignificant it may seem.
Faced with these acts, it is easier to start from scratch and facilitate the possibility of establishing a more fluid and honest communication . This is precisely what the following guideline is about.

3. Make honesty your “guide” value

From the moment you decide to improve communication with your family, it is important to make it clear that honesty becomes a priority in your interactions with these people who have seen you grow up. The reason is simple: if this is not the case, the value given to these communication initiatives will be very low, since the family context is that in which greater sincerity and openness is expected . To connect better with family members it is necessary not to try to hide our vulnerabilities at all costs.

Not being totally transparent at work or in front of people you just met is not frowned upon, but family, by definition, is the place where the personal is shared almost everything about oneself.

4. Put effort into listening

Active listening is a fundamental element in any communicative process, and those that are carried out within the family are no exception to this rule. Sometimes, we tend to fall into the trap that simply because the listener theoretically does not need to speak or move, he or she can completely disconnect from his or her environment and direct his or her attention towards anything.

This can become a habit that kills any attempt to communicate, because dialogues in which only one person takes his or her side do not please anyone and serve as “punishment” for having tried to engage in conversation.

So, when the other person speaks, be quiet and don’t interrupt , but give signs that you are following the thread of what is being said and that you are interested, ready to give an extra when it is your turn to speak. It is essential to look into each other’s eyes (if it is difficult for you, simply try not to look away from the other person’s face, nor look down, and eye contact will be established spontaneously), as well as nodding occasionally, making very brief comments as you go along, etc.

5. Show that you do not judge

The members of a family know each other in a much more intimate way than other people know each other. Therefore, it is good to remember that those imperfections of others that we recognize are a reflection of the human character of a family member , and something that in the rest of the people is usually hidden.

It is therefore important not to make unfair comparisons: if a brother, mother or cousin is imperfect, it is because we have a better chance of meeting them than the rest, not because they are necessarily worse.