Our mind tends to repeat itself, to return to the known , to what gives us comfort, to repeat behaviours that even if they hurt us we put them back into practice. It is important to know ourselves and to observe ourselves in order to know what is doing us wrong and to produce healthy changes to move away from that area that generates suffering.

Being in a vicious circle implies doing the same act over and over again, repeating a scene, a situation, obtaining the same or similar results. This causes the feeling of lack of exit, absence of alternatives, inability to choose something else. To be in a vicious circle is to feel in a dead end.

Breaking the vicious circle of the mind

It’s always the same with me, I’m not lucky, why try if I can’t, these beliefs limit us and stop us from building new paths to develop as people.
This is usually caused by low self-esteem, lack of security and self-confidence when making decisions, or by bad past experiences that hinder the present or cause fear of the future .

We register the discomfort and the suffering and we suspect that they are linked to a certain situation (substance consumption, exhausting work, toxic relationships) but many times, instead of trying to solve the problem, this discomfort paralyses us and makes us enter into the complaint, the concern, the confusion, the feeling of emptiness. The vicious circle we are going through remains invisible ; we feel the unpleasant effects, but it is difficult to stop and observe ourselves and analyse the whole situation.

We complain, we suffer, we get upset, not realizing that to get out of that harmful repetition we have to make decisions that allow us to break out of that circle that generates wear and tear and suffering.

The types of vicious circle

We’ll come up with 3 forms of vicious circle. Knowing their existence will allow you to detect them and get out of their trap.

1. Turning in a weary job

If our work does not satisfy us, does not motivate us or we suffer mistreatment in it, we will probably have feelings of frustration, impotence, reluctance , lack of recognition and opportunities to grow in our work. This makes it difficult for us to start the working day, and we wish that Monday would not come and that we would wait with all our heart to get away from there.

We perceive the discomfort caused by the work we do or the conditions in which the work climate is found, but if we are in the circle we will probably turn in it with complaints, anger and frustration, but without doing anything to change that situation.

A big obstacle to decide to break this dynamic is the fear . In this case, we can become afraid of starting a new job search and not getting a job, fear of finding a job with more adverse conditions than the current ones, fear of earning less money and living more tightly.

There are no magic or unique recipes, but one of the tools to be implemented in this situation is to be encouraged to make the decision to look for new job possibilities and set concrete goals, with a deadline. For example, take the time to investigate job offers, use word of mouth to tell your loved ones that you are interested in getting a new job, not act impulsively and without thinking. Making a decision takes time and different steps, the first one is to take courage.

2. Turning within a complicated break

When you feel that you are going through the difficult process of forgetting your ex and you realize that it was a relationship that was not good for you… this longing reappears! Right at that key moment, where you remembered the negative things, you got angry, you said it was over, a message or a shy and suggestive one arrives on Facebook and your emotional reaction to this indicates that the seed of that mental trap is still there .

You wonder why not give it another chance, after all the relationship wasn’t so bad… Or yes, but well, it’s easier to go back to the familiar, to repeat old stories than, even if we suspect what results they might have, we put them together the same way, perhaps in the hope that this time it will be different. But most likely, as long as we do the same thing (and let them do the same thing to us) the results will be sadly the same.

Probably what stops us from breaking this circle is the fear of loneliness and not being loved again, or feeling dependent on the other person, believing that without him/her you cannot live well. The confusion between love and need is never good.

A love relationship is a relationship of respect, trust and freedom. Being in love is not synonymous with being enslaved. If you feel this way, decide what is best for you, look for healthy relationships and your mind and body will thank you .

  • Related article: “The 5 Problems of Love Breakups and How to Deal With Them”

3. Turning within a substance addiction

Substance addictions are a health problem caused by the compulsive use of drugs capable of producing both physical and psychological dependence. The vicious circle is installed when consumption becomes excessive, uncontrolled, compulsive. That is, to consume for the sake of consuming, to consume because it is needed, because the body or the head asks for it.

Stopping using on your own is something very difficult and almost impossible for the addicted person. Containment and specialized treatment are required to break this dangerous and even deadly cycle.

After compulsive use, the effects of abstinence come, with which it becomes necessary to resume consumption. After this, the addicted person is likely to feel guilty, frustrated, or angry with him or herself. But if the circle is not broken, after these feelings and thoughts, the person may return to using again and again, instead of reflecting and deciding to change.

Reorientation towards healthy living

To keep turning over and over in a circle does not allow us personal growth or emotional well-being . When we detect our vicious circle, we can get out of it and ask ourselves why what is happening to us is happening to us, so that we can start to walk a different path in a very interesting process of change.