It is clear that the best life is one that we learn to live intensely, but that does not mean that we should constantly let ourselves be carried away by the torrent of emotions that our experiences produce.

Many times, it is important to take control of the situation and concentrate on acting in a constructive way, no matter what. This capacity is what we know as emotional strength .

In fact, one of the most important aspects of EQ is knowing how to take a distance from the facts that does not allow examining them in a more reasonable way and identifying the best options. Emotional strength consists in getting used to commitments with certain standards of well-being, living avoiding unnecessary dramas. How can we benefit from this psychological attribute?

Exercises to train emotional strength

Below I propose a series of exercises to develop emotional strength through changes in our habits.

1. Take time to think about your priorities

In order to know how to distance yourself from the facts when they gain a strong emotional charge , it is important to be clear, first, for what purpose this is done.

For example, in the face of arguments, do we want to satisfy our pride or maintain healthy relationships? In the face of stress due to lack of time, do we want to organize ourselves better or explore other possibilities of work that we are passionate about? Reflecting on what our priorities are is essential, and can be done at any time, for example, by writing them down in a list.

Surround yourself with people you connect with

This step does not directly intervene in developing emotional strength, but it is a support. When we dedicate a good part of our time to cultivating toxic relationships, we lose that energy necessary to face crises, and therefore we let ourselves be carried away by circumstances . Having a welcoming environment allows us to better manage our psychological resources and use them in situations that are truly worthwhile.

3. Do a personal strengths count

It seems obvious, but it’s not. Many people are unaware of their strengths and assume that they are “born losers”. But if we know what we are good at, we face the problems with more confidence because we know how to identify the points of support that we can use to our advantage.

4. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a good tool to lower the stress levels that we often accumulate throughout the day. Therefore, it is something like a psychological hygiene measure.

5. Commit yourself

Many times a good part of our projects go down the drain of “I’ll do it tomorrow”. If we don’t allow this and face those activities that really excite us, we will gain a valuable sense of purpose that will go well for us to have a direction to aim for through all our experiences. And, when you are clear about what matters, it is more difficult to give in to vulnerabilities and manipulation by others.

In short, committing to something gives us more reasons not to give up what we are interested in , in the same way that, for example, it is easier to keep going to the gym when you already have a routine than to go for the first time after a quarter of a year.

6. Train yourself in de-dramatization

Examine those characteristics of your own that you see as imperfections and ask yourself: so what? Knowing how to distance yourself from things is also that, understanding that what is not as we would like it to be and cannot be changed should not have the power to stop us. That would be a totally unjustified limitation, a barrier that we put on ourselves and that makes our existence bitter without us asking ourselves why we are keeping it there.

7. Do the exercise: reason coolly

Give up any pretense of reaching a conclusion you already had prepared. Distance yourself from something in which you feel some involvement and value what really happens . If you come to the same conclusion as always, with all the issues you are doing it with, ask yourself what you are doing wrong and repeat the process. Gradually increase the level of difficulty, and use this strategy with aspects of your life that touch you closely.

To develop emotional strength is to know how to deal with the effect that emotions have on us and to channel them in a constructive way. In the case of anger, for example, it can be used as energy to build a world in which situations like the ones that bothered us don’t happen as much. It is about looking beyond oneself both in the analysis of the facts and in the application of the conclusions. Thus, this mental capacity associated with EQ can serve, at the same time, to make it something more contagious and easier to obtain from one’s social environment.