We live in the society of branding , all the objects that surround us carry a label where it is specified its brand, its components, its owners, its geographical origin or its mode of use, among many other things.

These labels are obviously useful, since give us a fairly good idea of what we have in front of us at a glance . For example, in the case of a product for sale to the public, in a single glance we will get an idea (more or less close to reality) of whether it is of higher or lower quality, before even knowing its properties in depth.

Etiquette in people: between prejudice and ignorance

The fact is that we subjects have been carrying “tags” since long before the objects were carried. Labels given to us by the people around us and with whom we live , and even labels that we put on ourselves for some reason.

These labels may define us at some specific time and under certain circumstances (or not) but people, unlike objects, have a great capacity to change the way we relate to other people and to ourselves. Plasticity and resilience are the elements that give us the power to change.

Can you fight a label?

The advantages of these categories are obvious: save effort .

However, under certain circumstances it can be really complicated to get rid of a negative label (or even positive if we consider that it can affect us negatively in some way).

The Story of Maria “La Patosa”

To explain what a label is and how it can come to confront us, I propose the following story :

Maria was a twelve year old girl who lived with her family. She had a twin brother who was very agile in competitive sports, and she was not very good at that either, although she was not bad at it. Her brother, when they played together, called her “Maria the dork”. Every time they went to play football in the town square, her parents told her brother “take care of Maria and don’t run too much, because you know she’s not as agile as you are”.

Later, when it was her turn to go to school, the girl did not want to participate in sports, justifying herself with her friends “it’s just that I’m a dork. Maria grew up and with her the label. Her friends joked, “Don’t let Maria do that, she’s a dork and she’ll fall. And so time went by.

When she arrived at school, Maria was already The Duck, when it came to doing things that required physical agility, she would get very nervous and then, obviously, nerves would play tricks on her, reaffirming her condition of dorkiness. But Maria, was not clumsy, Maria had the label of clumsy.

Does this story of Maria “The Duck” ring a bell?

The labels usually appear in the groups, sometimes unimportant, sometimes with some utility in certain circumstances. There are many labels that are like a post-it and are temporary, but there are also tattoo : l as they become chronic, leaving a mark on our personality .

The Pygmalion Effect and Expectations

Several areas of psychology investigate the important role that labels play in the way we relate to each other. It is known, for example, that an essential part of our daily behaviour depends on the expectations we have not only about concrete situations (a master class, a play, etc.) but also about the people involved in these situations.

Thus, for example, something called the Pygmalion Effect has been described: something as abstract and immaterial as the expectations about oneself and the rest of the people have a material expression in our way of acting, even taking our capacities beyond the limits we thought we had.

That’s why is worth spending some time reflecting on whether the labels we use to describe ourselves help us understand ourselves better or, on the contrary, limit us unnecessarily.

Putting an end to negative labels

Eliminating these limiting labels basically consists of recognizing them as such and acting accordingly.

For the first thing it is necessary to ask ourselves a series of questions about our own self-image . You can start by answering these points first:

  • What labels do I wear?
  • What adjectives have accompanied me throughout my life?
  • Who put them on me and why?
  • Which ones have helped me?
  • Which ones have harmed me?
  • Which ones have been useful and are no longer useful?

Based on these questions, it is advisable to move on to other more specific questions for specific cases in order to arrive at as exhaustive an analysis as possible. However, this would not take long, so as to commit to trying to reach clear conclusions that would allow us to move forward from that point.

From there, it is good to examine our habitual behaviors and reflect on whether we are being consistent with the renewed self-image we saw after the examination period. This may take some time, but all major changes are worthwhile.