Childhood is a potentially exciting time, but it is also full of fears. At such a young age, children tend to adopt a type of reasoning called magical thinking, which makes them prone to inventing entities that are behind things that happen around them and that they don’t fully understand. The uncertainty this produces can make them feel intimidated in certain types of normal day-to-day situations.

In this article we will see several tips about how to help children overcome their most irrational fears , both in terms of the world around them and their perceptions of themselves, and what we can do as parents and educators to help them trust their abilities in a reasonable and realistic way.

What to do to help children overcome their fears

The following advice should be adapted to the reality of each family and each child, since its effectiveness always depends on the context in which it is lived and the characteristics of each of the children we are going to help. Both the material environment in which they have been growing up, and the relational dynamics that have been consolidated between the children and their family , as well as the personality and self-concept (perception of oneself) of each child, are very important elements to take into account.

That said, let’s look at some concrete advice on what to do to help children overcome their fears.

Open an honest communication channel with the child

First of all, it is indispensable to create the conditions so that the child feels that he or she can express his or her fears freely and honestly, without feeling judged or contributing to the imposition of a derogatory “label” . In Western societies fears are often seen as weaknesses, and therefore tend to be hidden. But if we show interest in learning about them to help overcome them, things change.

The main thing, then, is first to gain their trust and show good intentions from the outset.

2. Ask directly for the root of the fear

It is necessary not to beat around the bush and to know what the child’s perception is of what he or she is afraid of. In this way we will know how to establish certain forecasts about the type of situations in which this fear will be expressed, and on the other hand we will know if it is based on imaginary entities or if it has a minimally material base . It is not the same not daring to go to school because you believe that a demon lives on the way there, as being afraid of getting lost in dark places.

3. Don’t ridicule their fears

From an adult’s perspective, it is very easy to assume that a child’s irrational fears are nonsense, the fruit of a still-developing mind. However, adopting that perspective is a serious mistake, as it will prevent us from connecting with the point of view of the person we want to help.

So, when you ask for information about what is happening, act as a person would who does not focus on the logic or reasonableness of that fear, but on the importance of the emotional repercussions of that fear for the child. The important thing is not to critically and rationally analyze the chain of thoughts that sustain the fear , but how to get rid of that fear.

4. Be an example

This is one way to start breaking the fear. By demonstrating that it is possible to live peacefully by acting as if the source of that fear did not exist, we show that there is no reason to continue to monitor that concern. To do this, he performs acts that the child would not dare to do, in or with others. However, it is preferable not to do so than to force the child to be present , because the fact of being forced to do so is in itself another source of stress.

5. Create easy situations in which to break the fear

By following an upward curve of difficulty, create situations where there is a hint of that fear that the child must overcome, and do your best to get him through them without backing down to avoid that discomfort. Getting out of your comfort zone in this way will be rewarding, because it will show him that his world of possible actions is wider than that fear originally made him see. Little by little, challenge after challenge, it will be easier to keep progressing until the fear is almost gone. However, try to always be close by so that the situation does not get out of control.