The members of a family are characterized by having spent a lot of time together, but that is not always a guarantee that there is good family communication .

So… how can we improve this type of communication?

What we understand as “family”

It is essential to define the term family around which this article revolves. The family is not just a group of people who live together and share blood ties and surnames. It is also more than an organization of individuals who cooperate with each other.

The family should be understood as a community , as a group where the relations between members have a deep emotional character and are those that mark the difference with respect to other types of groups.

Under this perspective, emotional reactions in the family context are a constant source of feedback on expected behaviors. In this sense, the family is an element of integration that can create spaces that allow members to develop a relationship of belonging and identification . This belonging is neither casual nor temporary, it is essential, since it defines the subject before himself and before society.

Finally, it should be noted that the family is an organization in which its members must share common goals and objectives that generate unity and allow for the sharing of roles and responsibilities. It is therefore a team.

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Communication models

Family members’ communication patterns vary. They must be taken into account, since there are important differences in generational origin and this can generate misunderstandings, discrepancies and distance due to lack of connection and understanding, thus opening a gap between parents and children.

This may be due, among many other reasons, to the fact that currently most parents who belong to the well-known “baby boom” (1946 – 1964) have grown up mostly with television as the media and with the so-called “mass media” (cinema, radio and press). The characteristic of all of them is that the style of communication is informative, vertical and one-way, that is, one-way.

Given that the different technologies transmit certain values, this generation has acquired the verticality and the hierarchical organization of the television discourse acquiring the role of receiver , thus becoming accustomed to being passive agents in the act of communication.

The Net Generation

For their part, the respective children belong to the new technology generation ; some studies call it the “Net generation”. People of this generation are able to read visual images (visually more literate) are able to shift their attention from one task to another, the response time is fast, and they are generally curious and independent people.

Although this generation has also grown up relating to the television, their focus is on the computer and mobile phone. In the Internet environment they move like fish in water, especially on social networks. In these environments, the communicative discourse is horizontal, multi-way, active and immediate .

The impact of new technologies

We live every day with an endless number of devices that allow us to communicate with those who live far away but who, in turn, can take us away from the people we have closer to us . The fact is that we have all experienced scenes in which several members of the family remain absorbed in looking at a screen without articulating a word, thus worsening the interpersonal relations of living together.

Dialogue is important in interpersonal relationships and even more so in the family. Communication serves us to establish contact with people, to give or receive information, to express or understand what we think and to transmit emotions. In short, communication unites and links us through affection and empathy .

Of course, there is no basic rule for family communication. Every family is a world and has a unique language. However, in order to improve communication or generate a fluid communication between its members and given the generational difference, it is advisable that there is a willingness, interest and availability mainly from the parents, in order to create a communication lived intensely by all.

Improve family communication

What can we do to improve communication in the family nucleus? To shorten distances between different generations and improve communication and ultimately coexistence, we can apply the following strategies.

1. Moments without technology

It is important to mark several times throughout the day in which no devices should be used . Those moments that take place around the table (breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack and dinner) are ideal to encourage fluid communication.

2. Shared leisure

It is important to look for moments when you can share entertainment . It can be something as simple as watching a movie that is suitable for all family members. This creates a bond, not only physical but also experiential, thus avoiding the isolation of family members in different rooms. In this way we encourage a possible dialogue or debate regarding the shared film.

3. Encouraging dialogue/debate

It is essential to take advantage of the moments shared to exchange impressions, ideas and opinions on a subject that arouses interest. Encouraging the participative dialogue of each of the members is vital, always respecting the different contributions and allowing spaces of trust, security and belonging.

4. Interaction

It is important to show interest in each member of the family by asking how their day went or what is worrying and/or happening to them. In this way we encourage direct, personal, human communication and a greater knowledge of the personal situation of each member of the family.

The family is essential and fundamental and, therefore, to know each other’s concerns is essential to build a family united by affection and to know each other very well.