Living with family is sometimes not easy. There are different factors that explain these disputes that can appear in the family context: the age of its members, the degree of intimacy, the spaces, the degree of kinship, inner conflicts, personality types, etc.

In this article we will propose several guidelines on how to improve family life, especially within the home . As we will see, these will focus on dedicating quality time to the family, establishing rules and promoting healthy communication, among others.

Living together as a family

As we know, family relationships are not always easy. Although we can be very comfortable with our family, exchange experiences, share good moments… Sometimes in the family context disputes, discussions, conflicts and misunderstandings naturally arise .

Sometimes this is influenced by whether or not you live (in the same household) with family members. In other words, it is not the same to have a relationship with a distant cousin (whom we hardly see), as it is to live with a sibling. The small “frictions” of daily life, living together, housework, shared spaces, the personality of each one, etc., can generate certain problematic situations. But, how can we improve family life?

How can we improve family life?

In this article we explain some guidelines on how to improve family life. Each one of them, if applied, should be adapted to each specific case , since “each family is a world”.

1. Find moments to talk

A first guideline that we propose is to look for spaces in the day to talk with the other members of the family. The ideal is to propose an hour a day, for example in the evening, after dinner, where the family meets and comments on how the day went, something that happened to them, small concerns, etc.

The idea is to be able to talk informally with the children, with the father, the mother, etc., and to have a small space for each one to express how he/she feels . Communication is an essential tool for creating well-being in the groups, which increases trust and allows for strengthening the bond between the members.

2. Sharing Hobbies

Another guideline that we propose on how to improve family life is to look for those hobbies or interests that we may have in common with another member of the family. The ideal is to look for points in common, especially with those members of the family with whom we get along the worst, or with whom we have had more moments of tension lately, a certain degree of distancing, etc.

It can be, for example, between a mother and her child. The hobby in question can be carried out inside or outside the home (for example, going for a walk, going to the cinema, doing puzzles…), and it can also be a good option to find a “fixed” day of the week to carry out this activity. Logically, it has to be an activity that both parties really like and that is done for pleasure, not “out of obligation”.

3. Setting standards

Another guideline that tries to answer how to improve family coexistence consists of establishing certain rules, especially within the home . This guideline can be useful especially if you have young children or adolescents.

The rules can be agreed upon by the whole family (always taking into account the age of the children and/or their level of development). These rules may include, for example: arrival times at home (especially for adolescents), distribution of household chores, other types of schedules, things that can be done inside the house and things that cannot be done, etc.

4. Distribution of household tasks

In relation to the previous pattern, we suggest another related one; the distribution of household tasks. This can be a good way to give responsibilities to the children, so that they gain autonomy , so that they are clear about what they should do and when (especially to avoid disputes and arguments), etc.

How can we improve family life through the distribution of tasks? Through the assignment of specific roles and hours of task performance, through prior agreement between family members, etc.

If each member of the family is clear about what tasks they must carry out and when, this can facilitate living together, because one works as a team and having responsibilities (especially among the youngest) is always beneficial for personal autonomy.

5. Encourage healthy communication

It seems obvious, but many times, especially when we have been living with someone for a long time, we can have inappropriate communication interactions. This means: talking badly to the other person (sometimes without realizing it), not listening to them, not showing interest in what they are explaining, etc.

This may be due to day-to-day fatigue, a personal discomfort for other reasons (moodiness), etc. If we learn to communicate correctly, to listen and to be attentive to what is being explained to us, all of this can improve family life, since the atmosphere will be more relaxed and more respectful among the members of the family .

6. Sharing lunch/dinner

Another guideline on how to improve family life has to do with time-sharing at home. It is not necessary to have lunch and dinner together every day, but it can be a beneficial option to agree on at least one or two days a week to have lunch or dinner together as a family .

In addition, to make this time share quality time, one tip is to keep your cell phones in a box before you start eating lunch or dinner (and not to use them while you are at the table).

7. Dedicate quality time

As we can see, if we want to know how to improve family life, we need to know how to dedicate quality time to the other members of the family. Furthermore, it is important to emphasize that not only is it important to dedicate time to the family, but that this time should be quality time. This guideline encompasses a little of the previous ones, and aims to be a global guideline that guides family dynamics.

In this way, a quality time is one where the members of the family listen to each other, look into each other’s eyes, are attentive to what the others are explaining, show interest in others , are not thinking about other things or doing other activities beyond the fact of sharing that particular moment with the family, etc. These moments include all the previous ones (hobbies, meals, relaxation…), and the ideal is that they are maintained over time.

Bibliographic references:

  • Lledias, E. (2001). Diagnosis on elements that facilitate and inhibit coexistence in the family, in the communes 13, 14, 15 and 21 of the city of Cali. Municipality of Santiago de Cali.
  • Rentería, E., Lledias, E., and Luz, A. (2008). Convivencia familiar: una lectura aproximativa desde elementos de la psicología social. Diversitas: perspectivas en psicología, 4(2): 427-441.