Psychologists and sociologists have been trying to understand human behavior with respect to love for decades, a feeling or human motivation that can change a person’s life.

Happiness and consummate love are almost synonymous; however, being together is not always easy, and conflicts between members can arise at any time.

Does our partner love us or use us?

But in spite of the occasional disputes that can arise in a couple’s relationship and that often have to do with differences in deep values, the way of thinking or the beliefs and opinions that a person wants, sometimes one may not feel loved by his or her lover and doubt his or her love “Does our partner love us or is he or she just interested”, we may come to ask ourselves .

Although there are no exact rules for determining this, we can observe certain signs that may lead us to believe that what our partner really feels for us is pure interest. However, these signs are not 100% accurate, and can manifest themselves for other reasons.

What are these keys? In the following lines you can find 10 keys that will help you detect if your partner is using you.

1. does not support you in important decisions and is not there when you need it

Our partner is one of the most important people in your life, so he must show you support in difficult times and important decisions. If, for example, you are at exam time or are in opposition, he or she should be by your side and understand the situation instead of constantly demanding things from you that he or she is interested in.

If he doesn’t support you in important decisions and isn’t there when you need him , he may really want something that you have. Unfortunately, it may not be true love that you have between you.

  • To learn more about true love, you can read our article: “True love should meet these 40 requirements”

2. does not make you feel good about his comments and does not respect you

If in true love your partner is by your side and supports you, he must also show you respect and not harm your dignity. Of course, differences can arise in a relationship and conflicts can arise at certain times when everyone is defending their position.

Now, when the person is continually discrediting you, insulting you, treating you badly or humiliating you, he may use you, because he does not take you into account as a person, nor does he take your needs into account. Someone who hurts his partner continuously, does not love him .

3. Does not take into account your opinion

Again, respect is basic to any relationship and manifests itself in mature love, that love which is rational and which favours the well-being of the couple.

Living with someone is a constant negotiation and therefore there must be a balance between the needs of both members . Therefore, a person who loves you will take your opinion into account even if you don’t agree with it. When this does not happen and the other person is constantly imposing his criteria, it may not be love but interest. .

4. You are not his priority

When we are in love we want to be with someone in body and mind, and that person becomes our priority. That doesn’t mean you have to be with that person 24 hours a day, but it does mean that there is an interest in being together .

Now, when interest is the reason the other person is with you, they will only look for you at specific times and make many plans if you. He will only want to be with you when he wants to make a profit.

5. It is not consistent with the love he says he feels

You’ve probably heard the phrase “words are carried away by the wind”. This phrase, which is very popular and has a lot of truth in it.

When a person loves you it is consistent with what he says and his actions match his words . People speak through their actions, so if their behaviour and what they verbalize is not consistent, the reason your partner is with you may not be love. In these cases, you may promise a lot but not deliver on your words.

6. Only seeks to be intimate

One of the most obvious signs that your partner is using you is when he only wants to have sex with you , i.e. that is his only interest in spending time with you. When you don’t make plans together or when he only wants to meet for intimate relations instead of going out to dinner and being seen in public, you may start to doubt his love.

7. Doesn’t do things for you if you don’t benefit from it

The truth is that when you want to be with someone, sometimes you do things you don’t want just to make your partner feel good. Accompanying him to a concert or driving him to college because his car broke down (when you had a date with your friends) are some examples.

It is not a matter of continually giving in to his desires without taking into account yours, but your partner, if he loves you, will also make sacrifices for you. That’s why you’ve decided to make him the person who will accompany you for the rest of your life, right?

8. You are always the one who pays

Perhaps you have a lot of financial capital and you doubt the love your partner feels for you, because one of the greatest interests in life is money. Does your partner ever pay anything when you go out with him or her? Does he ask you to buy things for him all the time? He may only want that from you, so watch how he behaves in these situations.

9. Much of your environment tells you so

Sometimes, you can be so in love with your partner that, despite observing the above signs, you want to fool yourself into not recognizing that your partner is using you.

Now, besides what you think, do others (family, friends, etc.) tell you all the time? Do the people close to you in your life alert you that your partner’s behaviour may indicate that he or she is using you? You’d better think about it and use your most rational side.

10. Does not tell you anything too personal does not care about your life

Is your interpersonal relationship not intimate and there is no trust between you? Does he find it difficult to talk about his life with you and rarely takes an interest in yours? Perhaps he/she is not interested in your achievements or successes or in your goals or concerns in your life. When you give yourself to another person, you feel loved, don’t you with your partner? Then think objectively about the kind of relationship you have with your lover.