How do you look? How do you feel about yourself? What do you think others think about you? Do you think you are capable of achieving what you set out to do? Do you think you love yourself enough?

If the answers to these questions have been negative, it is likely that we need to develop a healthy self-esteem , which is nothing more than a positive and constructive assessment of ourselves.

Having good self-esteem is the basis for self-confidence. This will allow us to face challenges with greater security, adopt a more joyful attitude towards life and make us develop in a more adaptive way in our daily life. So what can we do to learn to accept ourselves?

Building self-esteem

Self-esteem is built from a very early age based on the affirmation and appreciation we receive from authority figures, such as our parents, teachers or leaders; and its development will influence our way of facing situations during our adult life: in our social relationships, in facing challenges, etc.

It is likely that in moments of confusion and adversity, such as a failure in a relationship or the loss of a job, will lead us to doubt our ability to reestablish ourselves and come out of it , and therefore, may be affected.

However, and despite the fact that self-esteem is built from childhood, we can work on it in adulthood to get to love ourselves and feel better about ourselves.

What can you do to accept yourself?

When self-esteem is not worked on, conditions such as depressive symptoms, eating disorders, anxiety, and social phobia, among others, may appear.
Do you want to start training her? If so, take notes and continue reading…

Get to know yourself

Do a mental and behavioural scan to identify your skills and efforts and assess them. Make a list of everything you have achieved and make yourself proud. Keep that list close by for moments of self-questioning. In addition, recognize your major weaknesses and challenge yourself to work on them.

We all have them even if we don’t show them to others. However, don’t be obsessed with achieving perfection; its pursuit is nothing more than lack of acceptance.

2. Challenge your concerns and make your dreams come true

We have seen that validation is important in building healthy self-esteem and self acceptance . We all have dreams, so challenge yourself and work daily to achieve them.

When you feel that you are gradually getting them, you will feel that you are surpassing yourself with effort and you will have a great reason to validate yourself. Make things happen and don’t get carried away by “what’s going on” or even by what your surroundings, including family or friends, think. Remember that phrase from Will Smith’s film In Search of Happiness: “Never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. If you have a dream, protect it.

3. Don’t compare yourself to others, compare yourself

Don’t try to copy a life that isn’t your own or a person that isn’t you. You are you, and the other is the other; you have your times and the other has his. We are all born and built from a different mould and with different circumstances; the person you have to compare yourself to is yourself. To do this, always look back at your life line and remember all the progress you have made.

4. Take care of your internal dialogue

People with low self-esteem usually have an enemy inside that keeps sabotaging them with verbalizations like “you’re not capable”, “you can’t”, “you’ll do it wrong, don’t try”… Put your thoughts in your favour and build an ally that tells you “you are capable”, “try and if it doesn’t work out, it’s OK, you will learn and you will end up succeeding”.

Control the way you talk to yourself, generating a more positive and adaptive discourse so that your emotions are more pleasant and you achieve the goals you set.

5. Flatter yourself and ask others to flatter you too

Reinforce yourself positively when you are achieving your proposed objectives , however minimal. Choose some people from your circle of trust and ask them for feedback on your projects and challenges. As we have said, to build self-esteem it is also important that the important people in our environment validate us.

6. Enhance your talent

If we put a bird in a cage for its entire life, do you think if we release it it will know how to fly? Therefore, develop what is good for you . It doesn’t mean that you don’t do what you like or that you stop doing things you like just because you “don’t like it”.

However, it is important that when we identify skills in ourselves, whether it is practicing a certain sport or cooking, it is important to spend time on that activity in order to develop it and feel good when we do it.

7. Take care of your surroundings

Try to approach people who are confident and have achieved their goals. Observe their language, their way of communicating and their behaviour and try to make them a role model for you. Walk away or try to limit certain conversations with people who don’t value you and are a bad influence. Remember the post

8. Give yourself time

The process of developing a healthy self-esteem requires time and patience. Don’t despair or throw in the towel when you make mistakes: learn to see the mistake as an opportunity for growth and not as a failure . We are human beings and we all make mistakes. When people succeed we only see their success; however effort, dedication and failures are also there but they are not so easily observed.

Do we feel strong in the face of adversity or in the achievement of our goals?

Self-esteem is like a muscle: if we don’t exercise it, it can atrophy. Do we want our abs to be our only strong muscle? Having esteem for ourselves should be the greatest strength we have , because it will be our ally to feel happier with ourselves and, in general, with the life we have built thanks to it.
Love yourself.