Fear is a natural feeling, and it does not always play a negative role in our lives. In fact, it can protect us from situations that are dangerous to us, or that are considered to be associated with risk. But it can become a problem when the feeling of fear is intense and limiting.

Next we will see how to lose the fear of making a fool of ourselves , taking into account that the perceptions that trigger this thought do not always correspond to reality: we are not always exposed to public ridicule.

How to lose the fear of making a fool of yourself in front of others

Next we will explain how to lose the fear of making a fool of yourself, through a series of simple tips, so that you can strengthen your security.

1. Keep in mind that no one is perfect

If you are able to dispel the misconception that others are more prepared than you , you will start to function better in any situation. Like you, other people also have to go through a learning process, and yet they are not free to make a mistake.

What we must do, therefore, is to trust in our own abilities and not be afraid of being exposed or criticised by others. Perhaps the ones who make mistakes are the others, and you have the opportunity to make them see their mistake (always with a cordial but assertive attitude). Or maybe they are right in their criticisms, and you learn from them.

2. Dealing with your traumas

Past traumas represent one of the main sources of insecurity in people. Many times we are not able to face up to what hurt us and we live limited by the fear of reliving those circumstances again.

To get rid of this burden, it is necessary to do an exercise of personal recognition and stop thinking those thoughts that are unpleasant to us. Instead of evading, let’s look carefully at how we can make these circumstances stop affecting our lives. Avoiding total exposure to certain situations only feeds the complexes.

3. Learn to laugh at yourself

Not all the things that make us uncomfortable have to be a drama. In fact, if instead of being uncomfortable you manage to see your situation as something funny, the unpleasant feeling will start to dissipate .

By this I don’t mean that you go around laughing at everything negative that happens to you, but that if we change the perspective with which we see things, we can experience less discomfort and get a better mood in the face of adversity.

When you take things with a sense of humor, the tension goes down and everyone around you relaxes. With this attitude you will be able to demonstrate that you are not a ridiculous person, but rather someone who knows how to take the tension out of things , which is a fabulous virtue.

4. Train your safety

Safety, like most things, is an attitude that can be trained. The ideal is to find a controlled environment, where you have privacy and can imagine yourself in certain situations.

The idea is that you get to master these scenarios from practice, rehearsing how you will do it when the time comes. It doesn’t have to be a big performance, it can be something from your everyday life. For example, if you plan to talk to the person you like, you can rehearse in your safe place.

This method will work for you to acquire security and naturalness before facing a socially complex situation that makes us nervous. It is not necessary to memorize lines of dialogue , but to gain fluency and to have foreseen several possibilities and your possible actions in each case.

5. Avoiding Prejudice

Prejudices are generalized thoughts from which the person is not able to evaluate situations beyond a pre-established conception. Furthermore, prejudice is characterized by being radical and exaggerated. When we think that we must please everyone in order not to fall into a certain type of typecasting, shyness and anxiety take hold of us.

We are afraid of making a fool of ourselves in some attempt to please someone, and this situation can generate a feeling of constant discomfort and uncertainty. You should be aware that you are not obliged to please everyone all the time , and you should not feel bad about it.

6. Show yourself vulnerable

Vulnerability doesn’t imply weakness; in fact, if you have the ability to talk about the things that made you feel vulnerable at times, people will feel more confident about you and you’ll take the burden off of having to look like a perfect version of yourself.

7. Set goals

To overcome fears, the ideal is to start with small things . One thing that works quite well is to colour in daily goals and to keep them in mind, so that you can record your progress. As you progress with these goals, you can set yourself some more demanding ones.

For example, if we are afraid of making a fool of ourselves by talking to others; our goal should be to start at least three conversations a day with strangers. Little by little you will see how you will gain confidence in yourself and in your abilities to interact with others .

8. Accept yourself

It’s about the acceptance we must have in ourselves, including the things we like and don’t like. As you see yourself as a whole, you will learn to value every aspect of yourself. Even your faults are part of you, learn to live with them in harmony.

Bibliographic references:

  • Hofmann SG, Dibartolo PM (2010). Introduction: Toward an Understanding of Social Anxiety Disorder. Social Anxiety.
  • Stephan WG, Stephan CW (1985). Intergroup Anxiety. Journal of Social Issues.