It is important to learn to manage our primary emotions properly; this way we can have a clearer picture of how situations in our lives affect us. And in this regard, sadness is one of the basic emotions that can wreak significant havoc on us.

In this article we are going to see how to manage sadness so that it does not become a problem in our lives nor can it affect us significantly in terms of quality of life. We will also review the concept of this primary emotion.

What is sadness?

Before looking at how to manage sadness it is important to know what it is about. As we have seen before, sadness is one of the primary emotions that we humans experience. It is characterized by states of anguish, melancholy and discomfort when some situation is unpleasant for us.

Sadness, like all other emotions, can vary in intensity, depending on a number of personal and environmental factors.

It is natural that we all feel sad from time to time; the problem is when the states of sadness become too intense and long-lasting , which can bring the subject to the brink of an anxiety crisis or mood disorders such as depression.

How to manage the feeling of sadness?

The following list is made up of a series of recommendations aimed at managing sadness in everyday life.

1. Identify the emotion

The main thing to achieve an adequate management of sadness is to be able to identify how we are feeling at that moment .

Sometimes emotions are confused, and they make us doubt. What we should do is establish that it is sadness that we are feeling and not anger or frustration.

2. Determine the reason for the emotion

Once you have established that the sadness is overwhelming you, it is time to find the reason for that emotion . That is, to find the trigger of the sadness. This will require you to be truly honest with yourself.

To do this, we need to ask ourselves key questions. For example; am I avoiding what bothers me? Am I really doing what I like? What exactly makes me feel bad? By answering these questions you will get a clearer picture.

3. State each thing when it occurs

It is decisive to establish the intensity of the sadness in order to be able to know if it is becoming a problem , or if it is a question that we can consider within the parameters of normality. To do this, we must be aware of how many times during the day we feel sad or discouraged.

If the feeling is sustained for many days in a row, we may be facing a mood problem (it is best to seek professional help), but if it is a sporadic state, we may have to try to solve the specific cause of the sadness.

4. Determine the degree of tolerance

Another important aspect of managing sadness is to see to what extent it is tolerable for us; in the most intense cases the subject would not be able to bear the feeling of sadness and would be affected by one or several anxiety or panic attacks during the course of the month.

On the other hand, when they are less intense cases, the person will be able to restore his emotional stability using only his own means, in an adequate way. Normally, we are able to tolerate a certain degree of sadness and frustration throughout our lives.

5. Understands sadness as something temporary

How we perceive our emotions determines how they affect us. If we insist that most things that happen to us are sad or unpleasant, then we will most likely live in that negative mood .

The opposite happens when we are aware that sadness is a passing mood, and that we will eventually feel better than we do when we are discouraged.

6. He sees sadness as an agent of change

Most people understand sadness as something completely negative for their lives. While it is true that it is an unpleasant emotion, it is also a powerful agent of change in certain situations .

Let’s look at the following example. When we find ourselves going through a break-up, it is natural to be overcome by a feeling of sadness and uneasiness. But as time goes by we internalize that sadness as an enriching experience, which makes us grow as people.

After a while, the sadness will be gone, and a feeling of calm and the ability to look at the past in a more objective and serene way will remain in us. As a result of the sadness we have become stronger about how we were before going through that experience.

7. Find the antidote to your sadness

It is true that there are no magic formulas that can make us feel better from one moment to the next , but if we follow all the previous steps, we will have reached a conception of our sadness that will allow us to find the necessary tools to overcome it.

Taking up some hobby without the desire to be the best at it, just to enjoy doing it, can be an effective way to combat our feeling of sadness and replace it with one of personal enjoyment.

8. Attending therapy

In case none of the above recommendations succeed in diminishing the negative emotions of sadness in you, and despite all attempts a bittersweet taste of not having achieved what you wanted prevails, it is best to attend therapy with a professional psychotherapist who will be able to evaluate you adequately and offer psychological treatment.

Bibliographic references:

  • American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders. Fifth edition. DSM-V. Masson, Barcelona.
  • Torralba, F. (2007). The essence of suffering. An.Sist.Sanit.Navar., 30 (Sup.3): 23-37.