Many people suffer from problems of insecurity. Feeling that one is not up to the task, that everyone is capable of progressing but one does not have enough ability, etc. Dealing with this type of self-sabotage is not easy, but achieving it usually does a lot of good, as it facilitates the resolution of various problems arising from it.

In this article we will review some basic tips on how to overcome insecurity through changes that need to be made in everyday habits.

How insecurities arise

Like practically everything in psychology, insecurity has multiple causes, although there are several that are very common. Fundamentally, it is a distorted vision of one’s own capacities , from an extremely pessimistic point of view, which generates an effect of self-fulfilling prophecy.

In other words, having very low expectations about what one is capable of doing oneself means that one does not even have exciting initiatives that are a challenge. Over time, this perception of stagnation reinforces insecurities and low self-esteem.

The idea that a good part of this monotony and absence of vital milestones achieved is due to the fact that we ourselves remain in the comfort zone does not take on sufficient importance so that the perception of our own defects determines the way we think about ourselves.

On the other hand, one of the areas of life where insecurities are most noticeable is in personal relationships. Something as simple as adopting non-verbal language that denotes insecurity has the effect of making others treat us consistently, so that in every conversation and social interaction the message is captured that there is indeed reason to feel insecure. It is a vicious circle that over time comes to generate a dogma, a belief that is not even questioned: we are worth less than others.

Overcoming Insecurity in Everyday Life

Below you will find several ideas from which you can start to strengthen your self-esteem in a progressive way. Keep in mind that the simple fact of reading will not solve a problem of insecurities, but this is achieved by introducing different habits in the day to day, which we will talk about in the following lines.

In any case, it is important to keep in mind that the objective is not to eliminate insecurities, but to overcome them; that is to say, to avoid that they interfere in a significant way with one’s well-being , or that they are obstacles to develop all the personal potential one has.

1. Write down your strengths and insecurities

Even the most insecure people are able to recognize certain things that, in comparison to the rest of their repertoire of skills, they are good at. Therefore, a good starting point is to write down a list of weaknesses and a list of personal strengths. It is important that these are evaluated not by comparing us with the rest, but by comparing those physical and psychological characteristics that belong to oneself.

This step will allow two things. On the one hand, it is a starting point that helps to focus more on the good things you have , and on the other hand, if it is done with a certain periodicity, it helps to have information about how your own insecurities evolve.

2. Check for tendencies towards paranoia

Many people base their insecurity on almost paranoid thoughts, constantly deluding themselves about the supposed intentions to hurt us or to make fun of us that others hide behind a semblance of normality. Therefore, it is a good thing to dedicate about five minutes, at the end of the day, to look back and assess whether one has fallen into this type of thinking in an unjustified way .

3. Ask others for space

Changes must not only occur in oneself, but the social environment must also evolve. In the end, when you are insecure, others may be more inclined to make hurtful assessments out loud, even without a direct intent to cause harm, simply because they see that such criticism fits in with what the other person thinks about themselves. Where others keep certain opinions quiet so as not to spend all day criticizing the person they are talking to, this regulation of what is said diminishes in the eyes of those with low self-esteem.

It is therefore good to state directly that certain comments are out of place, since they are inappropriate. The good thing about these situations is that the other person, in most cases, will stop trying to maintain a dominant position in the conversation if it is someone who is fond of us, and will immediately see his mistake. On the other hand, this is an assertiveness exercise that helps to reinforce self-esteem by the simple fact of seeing that this kind of complaints are accepted by the other person, denoting that many of the criticisms received in everyday life are unfounded.

4. Don’t compare yourself to strangers

With the rise of social networks, it is extraordinarily easy to give a picture of what you are not. One in which only the positive stands out, and the negative is ignored. This is something that facilitates the appearance of insecurities, because on certain digital platforms idealization is the norm .

Therefore, every time you are assailed by a thought based on your own inferiority to others that is basically known through Facebook, Instagram or similar, remember that it is a mirage. There is no reason to think that this person is perfect or even almost perfect, and there are many reasons to think that the image you have of this “other” is very distorted.

5. Practice sport and eat well

The good thing about this pattern is that it is based on the repetition of relatively simple behaviour patterns. Seeing physical progress over a few months is very motivating, and helps improve self-esteem.