According to Save the Children, 23% of girls and 15% of boys living in Spain suffer sexual abuse at least once before reaching the age of 17 . The percentages are especially serious considering that a large part of these episodes are hidden, since they frequently occur within the family environment, and therefore are not reflected in the statistics.

These worrying figures, added to the damage that this kind of experience usually causes, have made a large number of parents and child carers in general very aware of this problem.

However, knowing that cases of sexual abuse exist and that they must be avoided is not enough if everything possible is to be done to prevent them. This is the subject of this article.

Keys to Preventing Sexual Abuse of Children

The first thing we must understand when developing a strategy to prevent child sexual abuse is that, although the youngest ones cannot yet understand many things about life, from their early years they are already able to learn many more abstract ideas than we think . You just have to understand the kind of logic they are governed by.

Therefore, the work of parents should not consist so much in restricting the movements of their sons and daughters, but in educating them to understand certain concepts that will allow them to assimilate the idea that they rule over their body and that anyone who wants to touch it or see it in certain ways will need a good excuse and to act in a very concrete context.

Let’s see what these learnings are adapted for the child population.

1. Warning about strangers is not enough

Since a large number of sexual abuse cases occur within the domestic and family setting, warning about the dangers of relating to complete strangers and without parental or teacher supervision is necessary, but not sufficient. Being clear about this allows us to have a more complete view of the possible flanks from which this kind of violation can occur.

That’s exactly why the next point makes sense.

2. Talking about sexuality from an early age

Sex has always been a taboo subject, but if children are to be prepared to identify sexual abuse as such, they need to learn some basic notions about this facet of life. Educating children on this subject is not harmful to them at any age, on the contrary.

That is why we must talk about this topic in a clear and didactic way, avoiding formulas to shift attention to another topic that has nothing to do with sexuality, and using simple and unmasked concepts, such as “penis” and “vagina”. This will prevent them from being manipulated by magical thinking, for example, by making them believe that the genitals are like a button that activates objects.

Similarly, it is appropriate to talk to them about what abuse is and about the existence of people who take advantage of their position of power to deceive children with strange arguments to see or touch parts of their bodies.

As to when is the right time to start preventing children from sexual abuse, the answer is simple: as soon as possible, and as long as they understand the message. Obviously, the youngest children will not be able to grasp all the nuances of this phenomenon, but that does not mean that they will not be able to assimilate anything that is said to them . It is important to make oneself understood in a clear and straightforward way, adapting the explanation with an eye on their degree of understanding and not on anything else.

3. Help them understand the idea of “private parts”

Knowing how to discriminate when it is appropriate to be touched and when it is not, depending on whether they know the concept of “private parts” of the body, those that cover the underwear.

Something as simple as teaching this concept helps to have a pretty clear criteria about situations that can be the beginning of sexual abuse. However, it is also necessary to educate children in common sense , and to name the exceptional cases in which an adult can touch these areas: in cases where hygiene demands it, and when it is time to have a medical examination by a specialised health professional. No adult should play with them.

4. Educating fairly

Preventing child sexual abuse also means educating children who are not used to being powerless. The problem avoidance attitude that is often produced by very strict educational styles full of rules and punishments is something that facilitates the emergence of fear of saying “no”.

That is why it is always good to explain why certain actions are not allowed, instead of responding with punishments that do not allow understanding what is happening . Once children have started to be clear about what they can and cannot do, it is much more difficult for them to be manipulated by fear of reprisals if they disobey. Submission is bad for all parties involved.

5. Do not force kissing and hugging

At family gatherings and meetings with friends, it is very common for parents to order their youngest children to greet people who, in fact, may be suspicious of them because they are strangers.

This kind of action clashes head-on with the idea of sovereignty over one’s own body that is being tried to prevent child sexual abuse , and so is best avoided.