It is clear that the evolution of new technologies is changing the way we relate to each other… for better or for worse.

Yes, it is true that now it is possible to talk to a lot of people every day regardless of where they are, and it is also true that the existence of the Internet has allowed us to make friends with people whose country of residence we don’t even have to set foot in. The possibilities of building bridges are much greater thanks to chats and video call services, but this has a disadvantage. It is also much easier to cut off contact with someone immediately and definitively, in a matter of seconds or a few minutes.

Ghosting is precisely what happens when someone decides to stop talking and relating in general to someone without giving any explanation, simply by not answering the gold or even preventing it from contacting those who ignore it, blocking it on social networks, etc. In this article we’ll see several tips on how to react to a ghosting and not make it hurt us more than necessary.

What do I do if they ghost me?

To know how to manage the emotions that arise when suffering from ghosting, follow these tips. Keep in mind however that every case of ghosting is different, and often it is more important the type of relationship with the person who has stopped talking to us than the fact itself that he is ignoring us.

1. Assesses whether there was a significant emotional bond

It’s good to keep in mind that, just as it’s easy to ghost in the age of social networks, it’s also easy to confuse for friendship what never was. Knowing how to distinguish between friends and acquaintances that orbit around the social circles we move through is not always easy.

So, first of all, ask yourself if there is any reason why it makes sense for you to feel bad because a certain person has ghosted you. Perhaps she simply didn’t see any reason to have regular conversations with you either, not so much because of who you are, but because she knows you little or the circumstances in which you knew each other didn’t allow for the development of a friendship.

While it is clear that ghosting is an inconsiderate act that can hardly be excused, it is also true that we do not necessarily have to attach much importance to each and every case in which it occurs. Sometimes it is enough to simply take notes and stop worrying about what that person says or does .

2. Can you have personal problems?

If the person who has stopped communicating with you is significant to you, the next thing you need to do is try to find out if he or she is deliberately ignoring you, or if there are certain personal or family problems that are causing him or her so much discomfort or demand that he or she has generally suspended his or her social life.

In some extreme cases this is possible, although it is not very common. Someone who, because of personal circumstances, cannot take the time to cultivate the relationships that matter to them tends to warn that they will be a while without giving too many signs of life, out of consideration and respect. But under certain circumstances, such as experiencing strong depressive symptoms, even writing a message can be too exhausting.

In any case, since ghosting has been imposed, our ability to know what is happening is very limited, so eventually, unless we have important clues that indicate otherwise, we must terminate the search and accept the simplest and most probable conclusion: that the other person does not want to communicate with us for some reason.

3. You don’t let guilt appear

By definition, ghosting is surrounded by ambiguity, so it is not clear why contact with someone has been cut off , which in turn indicates that there are no clear reasons and therefore you are not to blame for that.

It does not hurt to first ask if there is anything we have done that could have hurt the other person, but if we do not see a clear reason why this person could have adopted an antagonistic attitude, it is best to conclude that there is no reason to feel guilty.

4. Be clear that the important thing is you

It is true that everyone has the right to cut off a personal relationship whenever they want, but it is also true that the person with whom contact has been cut off has the right not to feel bad about it or assume that he or she is to blame for it unless there are clear reasons to assume otherwise . But they must be very clear, because in the face of uncertainty we are prone to pessimism.

The moment you know that a person has deliberately ghosted you, even if they have done so because they no longer care about what you might feel (i.e. they have deliberately cut off contact with you, not actively but passively), you must be clear that when it comes to this issue the important thing is you, how you feel .

In the face of ghosting, you can assume that the person has disappeared for you, and if the other person wants to regain contact, it is legitimate to refuse, so you should also not worry about what the other person might think if you stop trying to talk to him.

5. Don’t feed the anger

Getting angry with this situation will only make obsessive thoughts appear around this topic . Don’t allow it. You simply don’t have to waste any more time worrying about it.