No relationship, friendship or work relationship is free from discussion . It is inevitable that there are differences between two people, even if they are very much in love or emotionally linked to each other. However, in natural conditions, after the storm comes the calm.
In this article we will see how can be reconciled after an argument with someone close to you, so that there is no risk of the friendship or relationship ending on bad terms because of anger and frustration. However, you should keep in mind that it is always best to try to prevent anger from spoiling the dynamics of communication.
7 ways to reconcile after a discussion
In the following lines we are going to review a list of practical advice to know how to reconcile after arguing with someone, without the personal or professional relationship deteriorating indefinitely . In all of them, the philosophy of facing the conflict from a constructive attitude is expressed.
1. Objectively evaluate the relationship
Making a conscious assessment of the friendship, work or relationship will allow you to reach the important conclusion of whether it is really worth investing your resources in seeking possible reconciliation. Sometimes it is better to let go of certain people in our lives , and let time pass is best in pragmatic terms.
It will not always be necessary to seek reconciliation with all the people with whom we have discussions; therefore it is advisable to reflect on the causes that have led to the emergence of such conflict and whether maintaining the friendship of the other person is really enriching or on the contrary only generates constant stress.
2. Visualize the reconciliation
After you have come to the conclusion that it is worthwhile to reconcile with the other person, you can turn to visualization. This technique will help you to set the right stage in your mind; when you are able to imagine the reconciliation process successfully, you are training yourself to put into practice everything you imagine .
Visualization is a very effective way to prepare ourselves to face sensitive situations, reconciliation being one of them (as misunderstandings or misuse of words can cause hostility to resurface).
It is a good idea to go over in your mind how you should start this process of reconciliation; after doing so it will be easier to talk to the other person to try to solve the differences .
3. Manage your expectations well
The following point refers to making a good management of the possible scenarios that can be developed , referring to the process of reconciliation with the other person. There is no way to control what the other person feels, or the way the other person sees the facts.
Ideally we should keep in mind that we can only control our thoughts and actions , not what the other person does or interprets, and we should be ready to accept any response the other person may offer. Having expectations that are too high will only bring us closer to frustration.
4. Dominate the ego
It often happens that people stay away more out of pride than anything else . It could happen that our ego becomes a barrier when we try to seek reconciliation with the other person; we must be able to recognize this circumstance and control it.
If we are able to put aside our pride for a few moments and manage to approach the other person in a more empathic way, perhaps we can reach a much deeper understanding of the causes that led them to take certain attitudes , and it will be easier to reconcile.
5. Express your desire openly
It is important that you let them know in a transparent and open way. Avoid incensed and tedious detours , which only make the atmosphere more uncomfortable.
When you get a chance to have a conversation with the other person, you should show calm, and after saying hello, make it very clear what your intentions are . This will ensure that the other person is also on the same wavelength as you.
6. Prevent emotionality from playing against you
At the moment of having the conversation with the other person thoughts of anger or past grudges may come to your mind . We need to be able to control this situation so that it does not affect our process of reconciliation.
Once we are talking to the other person, there is no turning back, and it is not worth complicating the situation because of feelings from the past . Try to focus on the here and now, leave the past behind.
7. Practice active listening
Knowing how to listen is indispensable for knowing how to reconcile with someone. It is not enough just to express our point of view and our feelings if we are not capable of actively listening to what the other person has to say about it.
Avoid being the only one to speak at that moment , make sure that the other person also has a chance to express his thoughts and don’t interrupt him while he is recounting his feelings. We must be able to listen assertively to each other’s words so that no new misunderstandings arise.
- Fisas, V. (1998). Culture of peace and conflict management. Barcelona: Icaria Editorial.
- Rahim, M. A. (2010). Managing Conflict in Organizations. Transaction Publishers.