Relationships are always complicated, because living with people you share a lot with is always complicated. The emotional involvement, the expectations of future plans and the fact of having to share tasks are potential sources of conflict, to which we have to add other sacrifices related to courtship and marriage.

This makes many people wonder… how can I stop fighting so much with my partner on a daily basis? In this article we will see several tips on how to manage living together with people in love, making discussions less frequent.

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How can I stop fighting so much with my partner?

Follow these guidelines to better regulate communication and emotions in your relationship, adapting these ideas to your specific case.

1. Control your expectations

You should not assume that the goal is to never argue with your partner again, because that is unrealistic. Adopting the expectation of maintaining an ideal relationship in which everything is constantly smiling can, in itself, be a source of conflict, something that predisposes us to get frustrated and angry about any detail and imperfection.

2. Don’t hold back anything important

Avoiding conflict by hiding information can also aggravate the problem, making the chain of lies created to hide that generate discomfort and eventually anger when unpleasant surprises appear.

3. Adopt constructive attitudes

Some people confuse pointing out that the other has done something wrong with humiliating the other because he has done something wrong. The former is necessary so that such behaviour does not happen again, but the latter only serves to make the other person defensive, assert himself and believe that he has done nothing wrong .

It is a phenomenon that occurs through a process known as cognitive dissonance: if the other person shows a very bad image of us, one that deserves to be mocked, then the other person is wrong and consequently has no reason to criticize our behavior.

4. Avoid mixing reproaches

It is important that, when we complain about something, we refer only to what we are criticizing at the time, and that we do not use that as an excuse to bring up the subject of a previous discussion in order to have more ammunition with which to attack the other person. The latter is not honest , does not serve to solve the problem and also favours the appearance of conflicts.

5. Showing affection

Here’s some basic advice: since you love the other person, show it through your daily displays of affection. Otherwise, the only thing that will remain is frustration and discontent in the moments of discussion, but not love. Therefore, the relationship can become a battleground.

In short, it is important to be clear that love is not something that is taken for granted ; it must be expressed.

6. Talk a lot about what happens to you

Another piece of advice on how to stop arguing so much is based on the idea that many times these confrontations are caused by a lack of communication. This causes one of the members of the couple to remain ignorant of a subject that they would consider important if they knew about it, and when they do know about it, it makes them wonder why there is a lack of transparency: a lack of trust? Inability to think about the other person? Disinterest in his point of view?

7. Putting a limit on humor

Some people confuse humor with constant ridicule of the other person. Not only does this not make sense, but in practice it can become something that significantly harms the couple, and in extreme and frequent cases it can be considered a type of psychological abuse , as occurs with gaslighting.

It’s one thing to laugh at a person, it’s another to laugh at the person. Humor cannot be a shield with which to cover up the cruelty and attacks on the dignity of the other, because that creates frustration and anger, and more importantly, harms the victim.

8. Talk about your priorities

Knowing the concerns and interests of the other person is fundamental to understanding what drives them to act. Being aware of the mental world of the other person allows for joint plans to be drawn up more easily and for a situation not to occur in which the needs of one are subordinated to those of the other, with the consequent accumulated resentment and frustrations.