Everyone, at some point in their lives, has wanted to change. Whether it’s because our partner left us and we were largely to blame or because we were pursuing a college career that wasn’t really what we wanted.

Change is normal in human beings and in nature, but it is not always easy. From these experiences it is very normal and understandable to come to the following conclusion: “I want to change my life” .

Keys to Changing Lives

Changing or transforming is an individual process that starts with oneself, so we are the main drivers of our change. But often our own beliefs or the fear of change can interfere with the change in life that we imagine.

If you are determined to change, in the following lines you will find the necessary steps to carry out the change process.

Get to know yourself

When it comes to starting over, the first step is to get to know yourself . Knowing what your desires are, what qualities you possess and which direction you want to go. The first step to change is self-reflection and self-knowledge.

2. Find a purpose in your life

Self-knowledge is key to finding out one’s purpose in life. Having a vital objective is key because it keeps us motivated: it is the force that helps us move and that vertebrates our day to day. Now, change is not only about visualizing the purpose, but about enjoying the journey while pursuing it .

3. Do it for you

To do this effectively you need to connect with yourself, which is why it is so useful to know yourself in depth. Because we often think that we want to change, but it is the opinion of others that influences us in such a way that we believe that what they impose on us is what we want . The goals to be pursued must be genuine, otherwise it will be difficult to change.

4. Open yourself to change

The previous point leads us to make the decision to change, and therefore, it is necessary to have a good dose of will. Being open to change means being willing to transform ourselves and to pursue goals through a certain amount of effort.

5. Plan the change

Once we are clear about our desire to change and know what we want to change, it is necessary to plan the change. If it is possible to even have it written down on paper, it is easier to visualize and allows us to make less effort in bringing it to mind when we need it. H ay que ir que fijando pequeños subobjetos y ponerles fecha.

6. But… set yourself short-term goals

It is not enough just to set long term goals, we need to take into account the short term goals as well, as this is the only way we can be motivated during the change process and not forget our commitment.

7. Leave the comfort zone

The comfort zone is an intangible place in which we feel protected and comfortable , and leaving this zone causes us to have to make an effort to test mental schemes that, despite appearing adaptive, are not always so.

8. Don’t be afraid of uncertainty

The fact is that leaving the comfort zone can cause a certain degree of anxiety , largely due to the fear of uncertainty. Not knowing what awaits us when we change can produce fear if we do not have enough confidence in ourselves or if we visualize only the negative consequences of the transformation. That is why we should leave aside this irrational fear and try to analyze the risks in a calm and analytical way .

9. Be aware that there can be ups and downs

Accepting that we can fail is also positive . That doesn’t mean that we should give up if things don’t go as we wish, but that we should be prepared to get up as soon as possible after a fall.

10. Self-powered

Knowing how to be self-motivated is also one of the keys to being able to change, and is one of the best qualities a person can possess.

  • If you want to know how to do it, you can read this article: “The 10 keys to motivate yourself”

11. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else

Change is an individual process: it is you who says “I want to change my life”, not someone else subject to a context very different from yours. That is why you should not compare yourself with others, but remain faithful to yourself and your desires and fight with all your strength.

12. Do not blindly listen to the opinions of others

You shouldn’t listen to all the opinions of others either, because some people tend to project their own fears onto you . If someone doesn’t have the will to change, they probably won’t believe that you can either.

13. Think about the reward

To remain self-motivated during the change process it is important that you visualize the reward or positive consequences of achieving change. However, it is important not to forget that the process of transformation is in itself a reward.

14. Love Yourself

It is also important that you don’t be too hard on yourself and accept that things may not go as you planned. But you can rectify and learn from your failures. If you don’t have empathy with you, who will?

15. Be realistic

The objectives and goals we set for ourselves must always be realistic, otherwise we can be faced with false expectations that can get in the way of the change process and lead to frustration, which is not only unpleasant but also takes away your desire to make an effort.

16. Challenge your limiting beliefs

Limiting beliefs are those irrational thoughts that do not let us change and that interfere with our individual growth . For example, “I am not able to do this because I am always unlucky”. Overcoming this kind of thinking is necessary so that we do not get stuck halfway through the change.

17. Take responsibility

Taking responsibility means empowering oneself in the face of change. It is the ability to respond to the events that occur around us with sufficient capacity for self-leadership, which allows us to overcome adversity. You must be clear that you are the person responsible for your decisions.

18. Abandonment of Victimhood

The opposite of taking responsibility for change is to play the victim. While responsibility is action, victimhood is paralyzing .

19. Seek help

Accept the help of others if you think that this desire to lend a hand is genuine . If among your friends or family there is no one capable of helping you in certain things, you can consider hiring coaches, teachers or trainers.Coaches are experts in personal development and help people to improve their self-knowledge, plan realistic goals, empower themselves in the face of change and become self-motivated. Hiring a professional in this field can be helpful in maximizing your chances of transformation.

20. Don’t lose sight of the present

Keeping your feet on the ground is vital to the process of change, so it is important to be in the here and now , connected to yourself. It is good to keep change in mind, but to achieve change you have to work daily and not forget where you are in your daily life.

21. Take the Path to Learn

When things don’t go according to plan you need to learn from experience and get back on track again , i.e. get hooked on change again. Successful people are those who learn from failures and get up again and again after falling.

22. Practice detachment

Detachment, understood as emotional release, is key to the process of change. This does not mean getting rid of the important people in our lives, but helps us to see things from a much more realistic and less emotional perspective.

  • You can learn more about detachment in this article: “5 laws of detachment to be emotionally free”

23. Learn to manage emotions

Both over- and under-motivation can interfere with the process of change, and although some may think that over-motivation is positive, can lead to over-high expectations in the process of change, which can lead to frustration. Being aware of our emotions and learning to manage them is a determining factor in personal transformation.

Starting over is letting go

As a conclusion we can highlight the idea that in order to change we must learn to make decisions, accept compromises and accept the idea that it is better to let go of certain elements of our daily lives.

In this way personal development will take place in an effective way and there will be no demotivating and frustrating setbacks.