Yes, it’s true that appearances, for better or for worse, matter a lot these days. But it is no less true that in many aspects of our lives, or even in those that are most important, aesthetics are no longer so relevant in human relationships.
In the end, there is no point in having a pretty face or a good ability to choose clothes if you don’t know even the most basic principles of maintaining a friendship or a relationship.
No matter how much they say, the inner beauty is not something isolated within each person , but it manifests itself through their actions and their way of exteriorizing their thought. In the end, no matter how inner it is, if we don’t do what is necessary to put it into practice and make it influence our relationships, it doesn’t exist.
Fortunately, just as we can take care of our image more or less, inner beauty can also be developed by investing a minimum of time and effort in it. Let’s look at it.
What is inner beauty?
Inner beauty is the set of social skills that facilitates the establishment of more or less stable personal bonds . If conventional beauty attracts attention, inner beauty is not only able to attract attention; it also makes people aware of what we do and want to keep in touch.
Thus, inner beauty is not a quality in itself, but rather a set of characteristics that are highly valued by others and that influence our ability to socialize and even connect emotionally with others. This is a group of characteristics that lead us to establish affective bonds that do not always have to be loving, but that usually go hand in hand with affection, empathy and understanding.
How to develop this type of beauty
Below you will find several useful tips on how to develop inner beauty.
Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses
This is a very useful first step to find out what the present situation is, at which moment of personal evolution we are and how much road we have ahead of us. To do this, you can write down on a sheet of paper, in list format and organizing everything into two columns, what your defects and strengths are, as you perceive yourself.
Based on the above action, prioritize which are the weaknesses you want to work on the most to improve them, and how you can use your strengths to make it easier. An alternative version of this is to write down how you plan to be even better at what you already excel at, although it is advisable to start with the aspects you do not like so much, so that there are no strong imbalances.
2. Make a list of what you think they believe about you
This is a second step to stop and analyze what you should and should not improve from the point of view of others.
To do this, write down two other columns of your strengths and weaknesses, but from the point of view of others in general. It is better not to stick to the criteria of a small group of people , because this would give more strength to the biases and possible prejudices on the part of that group. The idea is to write something that represents “others” in general.
Once this has been done, analyses to what extent these possible defects are based on something real , and to what extent they are wrong assessments. Think that practically nobody outside of you knows you completely, because everybody knows you as long as you relate to each other in a very specific context.
Once you have done this, prioritize what you think is most urgent to change about you, according to what you think is the criteria of others. Is this similar to what you did in the previous step where you focused on your point of view? From the combination of these two lists the aspects to work on most to develop inner beauty appear, although you should give more importance to your own criteria than to those of others.
3. Work on your values
In inner beauty there must always be a series of values that guide us and establish what we want for ourselves and for others . Being consistent in this aspect helps us to connect more and better with others, since it expresses commitment to ideas of the common good.
4. Learn basic communication skills
Many times, the image that others have of us is damaged by not knowing how to communicate well. Learning these fundamental skills is the most useful thing you can do, even if it takes months or years. Knowing how to practice active listening, getting used to being assertive, trying to make conversations useful for both of us … All this will make your social interactions richer.
5. Get used to thinking about the needs of others
Many times, we can overlook what others want or what matters to others. Solving this through practice and constant self-correction allows us to consolidate another of the great pillars of inner beauty: the ability not to think only of oneself .
6. Make your day count
Personal development can be a very powerful source of motivation. Therefore, beyond the time dedicated to your responsibilities, try not to fall into a life surrendered to passivity and free time spent doing nothing (although the latter is important to rest). Read, learn, know new places … whatever you think helps you to grow as a person.