The issue of gender-based violence is still very topical. Year after year, society laments the scourge of physical abuse within families. Although in the last decade the number of fatalities has timidly decreased, this beginning of the year 2016 is especially disastrous: eight women have been killed by their partners or ex-partners in the first 28 days of January.

Source: Ministry of Health, Social Services and Equality, Government of Spain

Interview with psychologist Patricia Ríos

This situation of permanent violence has generated a social and judicial effort that seems not yet to be bearing the necessary fruits. The victims of abuse are often people who feel helpless and invisible. It is for this reason that we have found it very interesting to be able to talk to Patricia Ríos , a clinical psychologist with an extensive curriculum who has specialised in the treatment of abused people.

Bertrand Regader: Good morning, Patricia.Tell us: what is your professional background in the field of gender violence?

Patricia Ríos: In my private practice I have encountered several cases of gender-based violence, mainly against women, but also against men and even among adolescents.

I have also been able to get in touch with the other side of the equation, working in group intervention with a group of men convicted of gender-based violence. And I have to say that it has been an enriching experience.

B.A.: Gender violence, domestic, male chauvinist, intrafamily what nuances does each of these denominations introduce and which one do you prefer to use?

Gender-based violence should include all acts of violence perpetrated by one gender’ against the other, so that it is no longer only men who perpetrate violence and women who suffer it, but also that it can and does occur, in fact, the opposite: that it is women who perpetrate violence and men who suffer it. In the latter case, the abuse is usually psychological, although physical abuse by women against men also exists and occurs.

Male violence is the aspect that refers only to violence by a man against a woman, usually when they are in a very close relationship.

When we talk about domestic violence, it is a type of violence that goes beyond the type of aggression that men display against women and women against men, it includes violence between family members of a household (and not only between partners) or even between people who, without being family members, live under the same roof.

Finally, domestic violence is that which takes place within a family between its members. Where minors are always the most harmed.

As you can see, they all encompass the same common factor, violence between people, whether they are of the same or different gender, race, sex and/or age. If we take into account all the variables, the current typologies of violence are scarce, since none of them talk about violence between people of the same sex. So, personally and jointly, I like to call it interpersonal violence .

B. A.: Psychological abuse is also a form of violence. What forms does it usually take?

Psychological abuse is perhaps the most common type of violence although it remains a taboo subject in society, keeping it even in a deaf, dumb and invisible type of violence.

As all kinds of violence are also based on power, domination and coercion, it ranges from contempt and verbal abuse to much more subtle forms such as control of the economy, of the way of dressing, of the frequency of social activity, and control by the aggressor over social networks and technologies.

B. A.: It can be the prelude to violence, let’s say, physical.

Yes. I would like to stress that psychological abuse, certainly, is often a prelude to physical abuse, it is the abuser’s way of making sure that his victim will not charge him. Therefore, psychological abuse is neither less serious nor less alarming, but it is or should be, at least, a warning that something is wrong.

B. A.: Based on your experience dealing with these cases, do you consider that there is still a certain cultural background that justifies violence within the couple? Or do you think people are becoming progressively aware of this social problem?

More and more people are becoming aware of this problem, although, unfortunately, it is a problem that continues to be slowed down. The environment ignores many signs, out of pure ignorance, and the people affected do not always have the courage to say so, much less if the victim is a man.

The cultural deposit that you are talking about still exists, and I believe that there is still a long way to go before it goes down in history. Older people keep it up out of shame and guilt, and young people, often out of ignorance and fear.

It is also not uncommon for public bodies to continue to place some blame on the victim, although this is less and less the case. In my professional experience I have encountered cases where the victim is deterred by the workers themselves from making the complaint viable, due to comments such as

“You must have done something”

“That’s what you get for not listening to him”

“Don’t be a girl and make things clear”

It is never an easy task for a victim of abuse, whether male or female, to confront their own fears and shame and take legal action. Even less so when the response you receive is along the lines of those discussed.

B. A.: What is the psychological and emotional state of the people who have been abused and are attending therapy?

The mood is always low, too low. Victims of abuse have lived through extreme, if not traumatic, situations. The seriousness of the effects depends on the type of violence suffered, its intensity, its intention, the means used and also the characteristics of the victim and the aggressor.

In general, they are people with a very damaged personality, who show great insecurity, poor self-concept, mood swings, and a high level of distrust. Some people often show symptoms of depression, anxiety, thoughts, and even unsuccessful suicide attempts.

The most common comments made by abuse victims are “I deserved it,” “He loves me but he went too far,” “I behaved badly,” “He had no choice,” “If I ask for help they will laugh at me/they will not believe me.

B. A.: What is, in general terms, the psychotherapeutic and legal intervention that a psychologist carries out in a case like this?

It’s a pretty complicated thing. We psychologists are obliged to maintain confidentiality towards our patients, but also like any other citizen, we have a legal obligation to report any kind of crime. Although bringing these two obligations together in the health professions is always a double-edged sword.

The first thing that comes to mind is to report the case to the authorities, and that is a very good decision when we are talking about minors. However, when we are talking about adults or even mature minors, help should always be the first option.

We must not forget that any person who confesses to us a case of violence is opening the door to a very difficult secret and, as we have already said, silenced, in action or omission by the environment.

The easiest option is to agree with the person concerned on the limits of our confidentiality and to make it very clear that it will be broken without prior consent if any life (your own or that of others) is threatened. Once this has been established with the victim, a long process remains in which issues such as self-esteem, social skills, self-esteem and knowing how to set limits, among others, are worked on.

B. A.: What are the common points between people who practice physical or psychological abuse? Can we talk about a typical profile or are there very different abusers?

Excluding mental pathologies, they are people with low emotional intelligence, they share a really low self-esteem, and therefore, a high level of insecurity, the assumption of responsibility is external, with little tolerance to frustration and a low level of emotional management and empathy towards themselves and others.

In my experience I have seen that they feel bad about themselves, some even hate themselves, and the more they hate themselves and the worse they feel, the more likely they are to commit some kind of violence.

B. A.: Deaths due to gender violence seem to be increasing in recent years. In fact – as we have seen in the table provided by the Ministry of Health – in the little time we have had this year there have already been eight people killed. What measures should the incoming government take to minimise this phenomenon?

Giving information on how to deal with the complainants would be the most important, because as I told you before, it is not uncommon for public bodies to blame the victim.

Leaving that aside, there has been great progress on this issue, there are now more means such as telephones to call anonymously and completely free, there are numerous support groups and legal measures, although not as much as before, still forgetting the origin. The information and prevention of this problem from the first years in the schools.