Men and women not only present differences on a physical and hormonal level, but also on a social level the two genders present their particular differences .

As we grow older, our body and our thinking evolve, but the changes in our body do not always go hand in hand with the changes in thinking that allow us to accept ourselves for the age we are.

In this article we will see what the mid-life crisis is like for women and its particularities, how this stage begins, some healthy coping styles, and what role should be taken to avoid distress.

What is the midlife crisis like for women?

This stage, also known as “mid-life crisis” is characterized by certain changes in perspective about life. Evaluations begin in retrospect about how we have done things, and if these ideas are not channelled correctly, a state of isolation, sadness and melancholy linked to self-esteem problems may arrive.

In addition, the midlife crisis in women may be accompanied by a series of problematic psychological phenomena at a personal level that directly affect how one experiences one’s age .

For example, the fact that the children no longer live at home, or the fact that they do not have a partner. However, these thoughts and feelings linked to the discomfort of “being in the body of a woman of 40 or more” do not occur in isolation; they have their reason for being in the way society interprets the fact of aging, especially in the female sex.

Depending on each woman’s individual personality characteristics, these situations may affect more or less how they undertake this new stage in their lives.

Symptoms

Now we will see some symptoms, or characteristic psychological effects (since the mid-life crisis is not a disease), of the beginning of this crisis, so that you can easily identify them.

1. You start asking yourself disturbing and profound questions

One of the main signs that you’re experiencing a midlife crisis is flashbacks that lead you to ask yourself questions that may not have even crossed your mind before.

Questions such as “what would have happened if I had done something else,” “would I have been happier if I had not listened to my parents,” etc.

This type of questioning responds to a dissatisfaction with the lifestyle we lead, which does not necessarily mean that it is a bad lifestyle ; it simply means that when we reach 40 years of age, we are prone to over-analyze our life trajectory, and often do so from a pessimistic bias.

In the case of women, this bias is biased against those who have not gone through the stages that have traditionally been associated with the role of the “mother-housewife”: having children, raising them, keeping a family

2. Feeling that you have already experienced the best moments

This refers to the feeling that the best years of your life are behind you , that you are no longer able to have joyful experiences. This is a widespread type of thinking, which is an indicator that the mid-life crisis has arrived.

To have the idea that nothing more can be achieved

In this age range, it is characteristic to think that we have already achieved everything we could , and that there is no point in undertaking new activities from the beginning. It is a distortion of thinking that makes you think that new things are reserved only for the young.

4. Physical difficulties

The physical ailments of this age can make us think that we are no longer efficient for certain activities. Pain in the back, knees, or neck are frequent when we reach 40 years old, but they do not necessarily mean a clinical pathology.

In the crisis of the 40’s in women this usually implies feeling anguish for being very far from the conventional canons of beauty, according to which beautiful women can only be beautiful if they are less than 30 years old, approximately.

Of course, this limit is absolutely arbitrary, but that does not stop you from feeling uneasy because of social pressure. If we add to this the fact that traditionally much of a woman’s value has been attributed to her physical appearance , the situation becomes worse.

5. Deep feelings of loss

These feelings are not about the loss of material objects, but about the loss of opportunities. We might feel that we lost too many opportunities in our youth , and that the ones that come up from now on we won’t be able to take advantage of.

6. Easy and frequent boredom

It is one of the most common symptoms, because routine can become absorbing enough to limit your time on things that no longer generate the same emotions as before.

There are always alternatives, it’s a matter of making a good distribution of your daily activities.

7. Insomnia

Difficulties in sleeping at night are often intensified as a result of the invasive thoughts that come into our minds , during the night we usually go over the things that happened to us during the day.

In the crisis of the 40’s the evaluation of our activities can take us even further back in time and make our thoughts scatter for long hours.

What to do? Coping with psychological distress

Now we will see some specific methods to confront the crisis of the 40’s in women that will give positive results as long as you apply them and are constant.

1. Accept your age in a positive light, emphasizing your virtues

Being 40 years old does not make a significant qualitative difference to the quality of life. Therefore, it is necessary to accept that age; if someone finds it bad that there are women over thirty, it is their problem .

2. Practice new activities related to personal growth

There’s no reason to assume that life will always stay the same.

3. Get out of your comfort zone

Spread out your time and find new challenges. There are still many motivating goals to reach .

4. Resignifies the concept of age

Visualize your age as an opportunity to perfect yourself in new things by taking advantage of your life experience and what you have been able to gain along the way.

Avoid falling into self-pity, at this time you have what it takes to do the things you set out to do. Stay motivated, remember that you do not need the approval of others when you know what you want to do.

5. If necessary, attend psychotherapy

Sometimes it’s normal to need help; find a professional who fits your needs.

Bibliographic references:

  • Newman, B. M.; Newman, P. R. (2012). Development Through Life. Wadsworth.
  • Sheehy, G. (1996). New Passages: Mapping Your Life Across Time. Collins.