It is well known that monogamy is a cultural phenomenon that varies depending on both the society in which one lives and the way in which one perceives the relationships that each person has. Despite the fact that for many centuries the inhabitants of Western countries have seen it as the only possible way of conceiving love, there are those who see beyond it.

Although in reality they have always existed, in recent years open relationships have gained momentum , becoming naturalised and seen as one more type of relationship that is just as healthy and satisfactory as the rest. However, the fact that they are a rarity in our cultural environments makes many myths circulate about these relationships and their potential, a fact that can lead to error and to wrong expectations about what they are. Let’s see how we can avoid making these kinds of mistakes.

What are open relationships?

There are many types of relationships and not all of them need to be based on monogamy. Outside this category are so-called open relationships.

This type of relationship is characterized by the fact that the members of the relationship do not consider monogamy necessary to maintain a healthy and stable couple’s relationship, so through a common pact the possibility of maintaining relationships with third parties is established.

This type of relationship can range from sporadic sex with other people to more or less stable emotional ties. This category can include temporary monogamy, polygamy or relational anarchy .

Taking the initiative to start an open relationship, or turning a traditional relationship into one of the above implies that the components of the relationship make a change of mentality and change their perspective on how to live both emotional and sexual relationships.

Since, no matter how convinced we are, this change is not always easy, we will now look at a series of tips and suggestions for living an open relationship in a healthy and positive way .

Tips for enjoying an open relationship

Through these 7 tips, couples thinking about starting an open relationship will be able to know what factors to consider and what steps to take when starting this type of intimate relationship, as well as the mistakes to avoid if it is to work.

1. Starting off in a healthy relationship

To be able to start with this new stage or format of the relationship it is indispensable that the couple maintain a strong bond , that the relationship works well and that there is trust in the other and security on the part of both members.

Although it doesn’t always have to be this way, a well-functioning couple will be more likely to succeed in opening their relationship than one in which there is not a certain degree of well-being and trust.

On the other hand, it will never be a good idea to open a relationship with the intention of saving it from a crisis or separation, since frustrations and distrust will only increase.

2. Failure to do so out of obligation

If one of the two partners proposes to start an open relationship the other does not have to accept out of simple compromise or out of fear that the relationship will end if it is not accepted.

The purpose of initiating this type of relationship is to increase the well-being of the couple and to make both of them happier, so if you are not convinced or you do it out of obligation it is better to talk about it with your partner.

The first requirement for this type of relationship to work out is that you both sincerely want it and are convinced you want it. Otherwise, not only will the well-being of the couple be affected, but it is more likely that the relationship will break up.

3. Establishing rules and limits

As in any other type of relationship, it is necessary for the couple to reach a consensus on what is allowed and what is not . The establishment of rules and limits will avoid misunderstandings and confusion, as well as providing security and trust.

It is highly recommended to discuss these rules calmly, as well as to express one’s needs. A good way to do this is to have it reflected somewhere, so as to avoid unnecessary discussions should the need arise.

It is clear that, just as it is necessary to establish a series of rules, it is essential that these be complied with, since the opposite is tantamount to cheating the couple in any sense. Of course, these rules can have a certain flexibility and can be modified to better fit the needs of the relationship.

4. Be communicative

As mentioned above, communication is essential in maintaining this and any other relationship.

Manifesting and expressing needs, thoughts, ideas and emotions in a sincere way is essential to ensure the future of the relationship. In the same way it is essential to actively listen to the other when he or she is trying to communicate.

Disguising, pretending or deceiving the other, even if we sincerely believe we are doing it for the good of the relationship, is never a good idea. It is very possible that sooner or later everything will come out, increasing distrust within the relationship.

5. Forgetting jealousy

If jealousy is no longer recommended in conventional relationships, in open relationships it makes no sense at all.

Taking into account that the basic idea of open relationships is that one or both components of the couple are allowed to have intimate relationships, both sexual and affective, with another person, jealousy has no place .

If both are sincere and follow the preestablished rules, there is no reason to be jealous or suspicious.

On the other hand, if what is feared is that these relationships outside the couple end up giving rise to strong feelings of love, it is necessary to know that those open couples that are well created and established are more likely to succeed than traditional couples.

6. Be honest with others

Just as important as the sincerity in the couple is the sincerity with those other people with whom intimate relationships are maintained outside the couple. Otherwise, it is unfair for the third person not to know what situation he or she is in.

It is important that this person is aware of the existence of a “principal” relationship, as well as the agreed rules, in order to decide whether to continue with that person or not. Otherwise, the person may be hurt and conflicts may arise with all the components of the relationship.

7. Having time for the couple

Last but not least, spending time with other people should not mean neglecting the relationship. To be able to maintain this type of relationship over time it is necessary to protect and care for the relationship on a day-to-day basis.