personal development and self-reflection , keys to your emotional well-being.

The importance of self-reflection

Practicing self-reflection is a very important aspect of a person’s development. Intuitively, many will agree that experience is one of the best ways to grow .

Learning from mistakes is something that has happened to all of us, but the experience can have different consequences for each person: not everyone will perceive the facts in the same way. Without an active thought process about what we are experiencing or without questioning the meaning of these experiences, learning will often not take place. In other words, what takes us from simple experience to learning is self-reflection .

Self-reflection will allow us to learn more deeply by seeing situations from different lenses and by encouraging challenging questions that will lead us to question our own beliefs about the world. If reflection is correct, it will help us to be more realistic and to follow our path in personal development.

Reflection and Emotions: Walking Toward Wellness

We have already discussed the relationship between well-being and emotions in our article “What is emotional intelligence?

For example, the development of self-control refers to improved impulse management, emotional self-regulation , planning , the self-awareness and social adaptation , which are absolutely essential for human well-being and which are fully in line with meaningful learning by and for life. To acquire good self-control, this requires a good level of inner reflection , so it seems obvious, the connection between self-reflection and well-being.

The word well-being , i.e., being well , refers to “being in the place I want to be”, and implies achieving balance and harmony in our daily lives; in our relationship with ourselves and in our interaction with others. Therefore, well-being is not a constant, but a dynamic component, which is built throughout life and can change at any time.

However, well-being can become a relatively stable characteristic if we achieve a good relationship with our inner self . By achieving this, we will be able to cope with the various experiences that we encounter in our daily life. This is what personal development consists of.

Personal development and self-reflection: curiosity and pain

To build the internal support that will allow us to face the situations and problems of our daily life, it will be necessary to make difficult decisions, to assume a position or a certain point of view and decide the best choice. If we want our well-being to be a more or less stable feature, we will have to ask ourselves the following question from time to time “is this where I want to be?” .

This question will allow us to know if we are really in the place we want to be (our job, our partner, our city, etc.). If the answer is yes, we will be in a State of Flow and everything will seem to go in harmony. If the answer is no, then we will be in the place of discomfort. The way to get back to well-being is self-reflection: moving towards personal development.

Therefore, the path of personal development is neither more nor less than the path to well-being, to the place where I want to be, but this does not mean that we are constantly reflecting. We have already commented on the importance of living in the present in the article “Mindfulness: 8 benefits of full attention”.

Even so, Mindfulness requires reflection and an understanding of our emotional state, to later accept us as we are. Moreover, the present will also indicate whether we are at ease or not, since there are two paths that will lead us to self-reflection: curiosity and pain .

The problems of avoiding reflection

Living constantly far from the present, in the past, in the future or in the excessive demands that we make on ourselves, does not obey full self-knowledge, but rather an unbalanced and unobjective image of ourselves, which generates low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy, social withdrawal, little assertiveness, constant stress and anxiety, psychosomatic problems and poor emotional well-being.

Although thinking about personal development may seem easy at first glance, many people turn to coaching professionals to unblock their own development. The coach, as a facilitator of personal development, gets the client to reflect through practical questions, allowing him to continue growing as a person. The coach helps to connect with desires and emotions , and although reflection may seem to be an intellectual act, it is an emotional act: detachment plays a determining role when it comes to growing as individuals.

In fact, avoiding self-reflection is commonplace. When it is curiosity that leads us to reflect and we avoid it, the rigidity appears. If we consider that there are other ways of doing things, but we are afraid of that possibility, we will probably never get out of the comfort zone . On the contrary, if it is pain that leads us to reflect, but we don’t attack that detachment, sadness will surely appear . In the long run, sadness will turn into melancholy and we will continue to think that the past was always better.

The 5 reasons to reflect

We live in a society that has undergone profound changes in recent decades. Globalization has brought a different way of thinking about all of us and capitalism has influenced our lives to the point of being objects rather than subjects . It is not easy to look inwards when culture leads us to constantly look outwards, to compare ourselves, to be more successful, more of a consumer, etc. In the midst of so much information (or infoxication ) we become attached to old certainties in order to feel safe, unable to describe reality as it is.

Thus, we deny our emotions and live together in an unreflected psychic-emotional state . Our courage only seems to have value in the approval of others. In order not to be left out, we have to have brand name clothes, a pretty girl, a successful profession, a good job, a good car, etc… building a path of suffering, far from a true sense of personal development, of emotional well-being and with our backs turned to our own desires.

Fortunately, we have the reflective capacity to detach from certainties, to connect with ourselves and to self-reflect. In the personal dimension our arguments and actions are always guided by our emotions, so it is important to understand and accept them. We do not know what will happen in the next present, but whatever happens will be different if it happens in the emotion of expectation, control, superficiality, hypocrisy, or if it happens from the emotion of respect for oneself, acceptance, gratitude, trust, tenderness.

In summary: the 5 fundamental points for self-reflection

In summary, these are the 5 reasons for self-reflection that will guide you on the path of personal development:

  • Helps you learn from mistakes
  • Helps you get good ideas
  • Helps you relate to others
  • Makes you happier
  • Helps you see your perspective on things