Throughout our lives it is natural to feel dissatisfaction, whether it is in relation to our personal, sentimental or professional life. However, when this dissatisfaction lasts for too long it ends up creating discomfort, limits your life and you feel more and more difficulty in your relationships or with yourself . Why do you feel dissatisfied or unsatisfied? How can you overcome this feeling?
In principle, this emotion, mood and also interpretation about what is happening is not entirely negative. Dissatisfaction is part of our life and helps us to discover what we need to change in our lives; but… Is that change really something you want or are you afraid to face? Dissatisfaction helps you get the concrete changes you need, but if that dissatisfaction ends up being constant, the problem is different.
Dissatisfaction that doesn’t help
When you don’t feel satisfied with some aspect of your life, it means that you are making a negative assessment of what is going on and focusing on what you really want to have, live or experience. This involves disconnecting from what is really happening and focusing on a series of alternatives that are not really happening, which generates even more frustration and dissatisfaction.
Of course, you can improve your life in any aspect, and that is something that comes with different actions and with constancy. Dissatisfaction, in principle, is an emotion that helps you achieve those changes (dissatisfaction is actually the beginning of a process of personal change; you want to change because you’ve had enough of what’s going on). The problem is when this dissatisfaction is not in what you do… but in what happens around you (your context, partner, people, situation, colleagues, work, etc.)
Here I explain what this dissatisfaction really is and how to overcome it in a video. If you want, you can hit play to see it, although I’ll continue with the article below.
When your dissatisfaction is related to external factors, such as the behavior of others, their characteristics, context, situations, etc., we have a different problem. Why? Simply because you cannot control what happens around you or the people you relate to or live with , either more intimately or more superficially.
Dissatisfaction is an unpleasant emotional state, close to anger and frustration, that comes from making an assessment about yourself (what you think you need and deserve in relation to the other) and the environment or others based on a comparison: there can always be “more and more”. But the comparison is an absurdity. Everything else leads to another, and so on, indefinitely. This is how dissatisfaction ends up being a habitual state in your life: you always see reasons to feel this emotion and you end up evaluating your reality in a negative way .
What is it that makes you never feel satisfied or fulfilled? Putting the focus on the outside world and valuing it as the source of your well-being. The outside world is something you cannot control, so having expectations or trying to control it will always lead to frustration, anxiety and lack of personal satisfaction.
How to solve it
Dissatisfaction is a point of view, but above all an unpleasant feeling and emotional state; therefore, the solution lies in learning to understand and manage not only that emotion, but all related emotions (dissatisfaction, insecurity, frustration, fears, etc.). All the assessments you make come from emotions that anchor you to that way of feeling, interpreting what happens and living .
Dissatisfaction is usually related to insecurity (which is why you value based on comparisons or, on the contrary, you want to achieve personal changes but you don’t finish taking action). Your emotions are with you every second of the day. We are social and above all emotional beings. Because you are always emotional, emotion not only influences your state of mind, but also every decision you make , your actions, your way of interpreting and valuing what happens, to yourself and to others.
In empoderamientohumano.com I usually make a special proposal to achieve this important and transcendent change in life: it is about taking the first step to know yourself better and discover what happens and how to solve it through a process of personal change. You can do it with a free exploratory session or with the Emociónate program, where you will find resources to take that first step.
Working with you will be the biggest turning point in your life, as it is the only thing you can manage and know. You cannot control the world, only accept it and learn to look at it with openness . Fear and insecurity are emotions that make you focus only on what you fear or do not like. Since your change, everything else will change, as your focus and look will change.